My Son deserves the best...

[Boyington]

Why not ask the Grandparents to adopt your son and ask them if they will allow you to still have contact with him through letters and phone calls. Maybe time to play with you in a park alone if you ever travel to where they live and would like to see your son?

Why not tell your son that you love him but don't know how to be a mom or can't give him what he needs but will always love him and want to be part of his life although he lives with his grandparents (if you chose for him to live with them)? I understand that he is only four, but you could maintain some sort of contact with him and repeat this to him throughout his life.

You could ask the grandparents to adopt him but send you pictures and updates about him, who his friends are, how he eventually does in school, what his favorite color is, what he wants to be when he grows up..just some sort of updates so that you will know what is going on in his life?

It appears that you believe the Grandparents are capable of providing him with a great home and you are not. It appears you claim that they have maternal instincts towards your son and you don't. Just the fact that you are able to think about giving up your son says a lot. It says that you are not what is best for him and are willing to find what is.

 

[djohnson]

For the record not all kids raised in a single parent enviroment turn to crime. I raised my son for 6 years by myself. I worked my @ss off. But he didn't asked to be born that was my desicsion. I think if I have one more stupid woman acting like being a single parent is a disabilty I will scream.

I want to second this, as I was raised in a completely single parent home, and glad that I did considering my mother's choice for my father I have no problems with it.


OP I think some of their feelings maybe coming from the fact they are scared you may try and take him back and they keep trying to distance you to protect themselves. You need to come to legal terms and don't change your mind. It would probably give them the security they need to feel more comfortable with you.

 

[Love 4 my Son]

I posted looking for advice...

First and foremost, thank you GothicAngel for recognizing what I am trying to say.
Second, LeoJJ?? Thank you so much for being an ignorant @ss because I never said that raising my son was a disability!!!
Kay1963, I have thought about moving to Las Vegas where he is at... believe it or not, it is not easy just getting up and moving but I have put serious thought into it, and the conclusion I came up with is that perhaps it will be a plausible idea when I finished school in about a year and a half.
NextWife, adoption was a consideration EXCEPT I would have needed consent form his father which is something he wasn't going to do. Besides, I didn't say he didn't want his child. I SAID he didn't believe my son was his.
JRoss, postpartem depression might be a possibility especially since I already have the tendency to be depressed which I keep a keen check on. I already hit rock bottom long before I had my son and through God's grace, I will continue living a productive, decent, active life. I don't use medications ( I tried once, made me "numb" ) and keeping an concious thought on it really helps me out especially when I know certain situations triggers it, I can counteract it.
Boyington, adoption requires the consent of both parents which his father isn't going to do. His grandmother does send pictures and let's me know of his well-being.
DJohnson, I'm glad you were able to shed some light into this situation. You were the only one who mentioned the fact that they might be scared. Out of all the people I talked to in my life and the posting in this forum, you're the only one who made sense. Maybe they are scared. I don't see why because the only I wanted for my son was the best. I don't think this was a selfish act on my part; if anything, this was an act of love and well being for my son. I know I just can't walk away. As much as his grandparents make me think that way (whether they realize it or not), I know legally I can't do that. I'm not weak (or maybe I am), but the fact of the matter is that I love my son deeply. Everything I do is for him, even what I am doing in CA while he is in NV.
Paradise, I don't know if you are a man or a woman, a parent or not, but let me tell you something. I didn't grow up in no hood, I'm not trailer park trash, I don't use drugs, and I work, so my money along with yours is paying to feed someone elses kids, not mine!!! Your ignorance is pathetic to even suggest I am on welfare! You don't know me. You don't know my whole situation. You certainly don't have any saying as in to what kind of individual I am. As far as I am concerned, I am human that is struggling with a situation, looking for some kind of support, ideas, constructive criticism, not bad-mouthing about my character. I do agree some people should be banned from having kids, but that is a far cry from people who do have kids and make a concious effort in the well being for their kids even if it means they don't live with them. If that is such a crime, then I am guilty!! Lock me up and throw away the key!! I am NOT sorry!!!
For the rest, I tried to tell the grandparent's we will know each other for the rest of our lives, we need to sqaush the "elephant" in the room whenever we talk to each other to no avail. I know I have my rights, but the world is already *ucked up enough, I don't want to add to it since my son will see it in his own life, who is all I care about. I don't want to had to the arsenal of hate that already plagues this world. I don't want to contribute to the antrocities my son will see in his life time.

 

[leojj]

Still think you are stupid

In your case you ARE NOT rasing your son. You seem to be clueless of what a parent is. Do you pay child support to his grandparents? I think you need to sign away your rights completly. DON'T HAND YOUR SON OVER ONE DAY THEN HAVE A *UCKING PITTY PARTY AND PULL HIM AWAY FROM PEOPLE WHO ARE ALWAYS THERE FOR HIM. YOU ARE A SELFISH PIECE OF TRASH!! I hope you can explain yourself one day to your son. But he is going to HATE you with good reason. People like you make the @sshole come out in me. The world would be great if you could get some of the stupid people off it.

 

[GothicAngel]

Your very welcome!