My sons mom just got married, AND... (advice needed please)

[the go to guy]

What is the name of your state? Alabama


Hi, thanks for reading. I won't bore you with all the history of how or why we got to where we are today... but the situation is my son is 5 years old and I've been paying child support (got way past due almost went to jail, etc). Well, now that she has gotten married, I have spoken with her and she has agreed that she and her husband will adopt him if i will sign... and then I will give up my visitation rights, and she will cancel my child support obligation, and this whole court drama will be finished once and for all, and we can all get on with our lives.

So the bottom line is...my question is... are we allowed to do this? She has been married only a month, so if we both agree, can I sign over my rights to her new husband, and can she sign to ABSOLVE me of all child support? Oh by the way we were never married, if that matters or not. Also, will we need to pay lawyers to do this for us, or is there some way we can do it without the expense of getting lawyers??

Thank you for your advice

 

[AnswerMeNOW]

Yes, you can do this. It happens often where the woman's new hubby wants to adopt. I believe you can call CSEA and ask them specifically about TPR (termination of parental rights) and the process involved. You MIGHT need an adoption lawyer. But, your local CSEA would be able to better assist you. You might also simply want to do a Google search for adoption laws in your state. Do some research with your state's revised codes -- even check out your state's child support agency website for any necessary info.

Even though she would cancel your CS obligation, if you are in arrears, I believe you are still responsible for those, until you are current.

 

[knight7474]

Are you going to be the guy your son "goes to" when he's older and wants to know who you are and why you gave him up?

Don't make it all about the money.

 

[adrainp]

Your Son

You don't have to give up your rights to someone else. The girlfriend has the ability to wave all arrearage on your account, she simply needs to put it in writing that she has been paid and they will remove that portion from your credit report. (This can be done by faxed letter. I know this because it was done for me by my baby's mother). I am hopeful you don't give up your rights to your son, this is your blood, no matter where he goes in this world, he carries your blood line, don't let someone else take your parental rights away, because you can't afford him. I have a child who is now twelve years old, she only wants to visit me two weeks out of the year, I have left it up to her and love her dearly, but I never want her to say I was not there for her, I don't want to read a suicide letter, stating if my father didn't want me in this world I don't deserve to be here. (not saying your child would commit suicide, but who can predict the future? You are an adult, it is time to step up to the plate, do whatever you have to do to make this situation work. HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOUR MOM OR DAD DID THIS TO YOU?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

You don't have to give up your rights to someone else. The girlfriend has the ability to wave all arrearage on your account, she simply needs to put it in writing that she has been paid and they will remove that portion from your credit report.

EXCUSE ME? Would you like to try that again?

 

[AnswerMeNOW]

congrats!!!

You are an adult, it is time to step up to the plate, do whatever you have to do to make this situation work. HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOUR MOM OR DAD DID THIS TO YOU?

Congrats Adrainp...you've completely missed the point. May I suggest learning how to read and comprehend.

 

[VeronicaGia]

What is the name of your state? Alabama


Hi, thanks for reading. I won't bore you with all the history of how or why we got to where we are today... but the situation is my son is 5 years old and I've been paying child support (got way past due almost went to jail, etc). Well, now that she has gotten married, I have spoken with her and she has agreed that she and her husband will adopt him if i will sign... and then I will give up my visitation rights, and she will cancel my child support obligation, and this whole court drama will be finished once and for all, and we can all get on with our lives.

So the bottom line is...my question is... are we allowed to do this? She has been married only a month, so if we both agree, can I sign over my rights to her new husband, and can she sign to ABSOLVE me of all child support? Oh by the way we were never married, if that matters or not. Also, will we need to pay lawyers to do this for us, or is there some way we can do it without the expense of getting lawyers??

Thank you for your advice

It is very unlikely a court will allow an adoption until they have been married at least a year. Then, unless she decides to forgive the arrears, you will still owe them, but ongoing support will stop.

And unless you have an attorney, I wouldn't do it. You may do what others have done - give up your rights and then the step father never adopts. Then you'll be paying for a child you have no right to be involved with.