NCP wants to be repaid for Summer CS

[necessary evil]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL

HX: I am the CP of a 13 y/o daughter. Ex & I were never married. Child support order through the FL DOR since 1998 @ $330/mo. He is current on CS with no arrears.

We agreed that our daughter would travel with him back to Texas (his residential state) for the summer. He is to return her no later than August 1st.

He called me last night and told me that he wants me to pay him back the money that is automatically deducted from his paychecks for child support, stating that he's going to need to provide clothes and food and such for her while she's there. He's expecting me to send him back all of her child support for June & July.

Is this something that I should do? I really can't afford to send him the child support back as they money goes towards keeping a roof over her head & food on the table. My husband and I have income in addition to this CS, but every penny counts. I've already spent June's CS on school clothes for her.

I don't want to be a witch with a "B", but I also don't want to be a pushover.

What should I do?

 

[CourtClerk]

Child support should never be factored into your budget. Never.

However, you are under no obligation to send him back the money. Would be nice, but you don't have to.

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

I've done some research on CS abatement. Here is a link for you to check out.

CHAPTER 11: MODIFICATION OF CHILD SUPPORT OBLIGATIONS

This link is to the FEDERAL Administration for Children and Families website regarding cs support.

However, I believe (and I am not an expert, obviously...) that unless there is something in your cs order, that abatement unless addressed in the order, is not obligatory on the part of the custodial parent. It would (and again, I BELIEVE) have to be re-addressed in an modification.

What does your order state (minus all identifying information) regarding visitation and reimbursement of cs, if anything at all?

 

[necessary evil]

What does your order state (minus all identifying information) regarding visitation and reimbursement of cs, if anything at all?

My order states that he is to pay $330 per month via income deduction order until the child is 18, marries, is emancipated or dies. There is no custody/visitation order.

Thank you for the link. I will check that out!

ETA: I found this on that page:

Extended visitation: Several cases have held that modification or abatement of child support is not appropriate during periods of extended visitation or temporary periods of residence with the obligated parent.[34] The basis for these rulings has been that the guidelines already consider an extensive relationship between the child and parent and already allow for periods of visitation. The custodial parent’s need to maintain a household for the benefit of the child does not diminish during the visitation or temporary periods.

 

[Antigone*]

My order states that he is to pay $330 per month via income deduction order until the child is 18, marries, is emancipated or dies. There is no custody/visitation order.

Thank you for the link. I will check that out!

MHO is that support and visitation do no go hand in hand. Even though your daughter is visiting daddy, you still support your daughter.

Absent a court order, you are not obligated to give him anything.

 

[necessary evil]

MHO is that support and visitation do no go hand in hand. Even though your daughter is visiting daddy, you still support your daughter.

Absent a court order, you are not obligated to give him anything.

My husband pays child support for his children, and if he tried pulling this on his ex she'd have his head on a pike in the middle of the court house.

 

[Antigone*]

My husband pays child support for his children, and if he tried pulling this on his ex she'd have his head on a pike in the middle of the court house.

Legally speaking you can't lose if you follow the court order.

 

[necessary evil]

Legally speaking you can't lose if you follow the court order.

Perfect.

I'm super non-confrontational, so I wasn't quite sure how to handle this one. I appreciate all the help!

 

[CJane]

Check the statutes for the state that issued the order, and also the child support enforcement agency's website for information.

My state (which is not your state) does allow for abatement of child support any time the child is in the custody of the paying parent for 30 or more continuous days. (Assuming that the child is in the custody of that parent by order or agreement, not in cases where the child is being withheld).

 

[hearts41]

I live in FL as well, my advice, follow the court Order, learn it, know it, memorize it, LOL. If you don't have to give back any of that money I would not. You still have to provide and maintain the home while you child is gone etc. Its not like you will be renting her room out while she is gone

 

[CourtClerk]

I live in FL as well, my advice, follow the court Order, learn it, know it, memorize it, LOL. If you don't have to give back any of that money I would not. You still have to provide and maintain the home while you child is gone etc. Its not like you will be renting her room out while she is gone

Well, first of all, it's not like they couldn't if they wanted to...

However, with that same argument, one could say that your expenses for a child not in your house for 2 months go down considerably since you're not feeding her, you're not clothing her, you're not paying for hygeine items, no electricity, gas, cable television, entertainment, etc. So, what's the value of half the expense of her bedroom cost when balanced against the CS?

See why you should be quiet?

 

[LdiJ]

Well, first of all, it's not like they couldn't if they wanted to...

However, with that same argument, one could say that your expenses for a child not in your house for 2 months go down considerably since you're not feeding her, you're not clothing her, you're not paying for hygeine items, no electricity, gas, cable television, entertainment, etc. So, what's the value of half the expense of her bedroom cost when balanced against the CS?

See why you should be quiet?

I dunno CC...I agree about the food, hygiene products and possibly entertainment, but I am not sure I agree so much about the rest. Utilities for a house aren't going to change much when one person is gone for a while. Water maybe, but not the rest. Someone isn't going to shut off their cable because their child is gone for a month. Unless you are in the habit of renting a ton of movies for your child (which hopefully most of us are more budget concious than that) cable wouldn't change at all.

Before IN's child support calculations changed to give credit for overall overnights, parents got a 50% abatement for any visitation period that was 7 nights or longer. The theory was that 50% of the costs of raising the child were direct, and related to the child being present, and 50% were "fixed costs" that didn't change just because the child wasn't present.

 

[CourtClerk]

I dunno CC...I agree about the food, hygiene products and possibly entertainment, but I am not sure I agree so much about the rest. Utilities for a house aren't going to change much when one person is gone for a while. Water maybe, but not the rest. Someone isn't going to shut off their cable because their child is gone for a month. Unless you are in the habit of renting a ton of movies for your child (which hopefully most of us are more budget concious than that) cable wouldn't change at all.

The tv is primarily in the house because the kid watches it. I watch it because it's here, but I sure don't need 200 channels, a full HD package and sports package. Neither does he and some kids aren't as fortunate, but it's here because he's here...

I don't buy NEARLY as much food for the house when he's gone... not even by a long shot.

Kids eat up MUCH more electricity in the house than the adults do. Why? Because kids don't know how to turn things off. Right now he's got the stereo on in the room AND the radio in the kitchen.

I probably use more water, so I can't speak to that.

His clothes and tennis shoes are more expensive... He's gone for 2 months, guess who doesn't have to go shopping?

As a matter of fact, for the month the kid will be gone (praise the LORD), I will probably live on a cup of Starbucks in the morning and whatever is quick on the way home from work. No way in H*LL I could do that while he was home.

Not to mention movies, lunch when he's out with his friends, random money just because, trips to the amusement parks, and so on and so forth.

 

[stealth2]

The tv is primarily in the house because the kid watches it. I watch it because it's here, but I sure don't need 200 channels, a full HD package and sports package. Neither does he and some kids aren't as fortunate, but it's here because he's here...

Well... I tend to watch other stuff than is on when the kids are home - because I can! And I do actually watch a fair number of cable channels - quite a few of which overlap with what they watch.

I don't buy NEARLY as much food for the house when he's gone... not even by a long shot.

I don't save much on food when he's gone. But I do when she is. Although... I do splurge more on stuff I might like that neither of them do. Because that's the time when I get to experiment with recipes I think sound really good but am quite certain neither of my kids will eat.

Kids eat up MUCH more electricity in the house than the adults do. Why? Because kids don't know how to turn things off. Right now he's got the stereo on in the room AND the radio in the kitchen.

They do learn over time.

I probably use more water, so I can't speak to that.

THIS is where I save money when the manchild is away. Those 40-minute showers wreak havoc on my water bill!

His clothes and tennis shoes are more expensive... He's gone for 2 months, guess who doesn't have to go shopping?

This is the nice thing about having a working child. (NOT as opposed to a broken one.) My son learned very quickly how expensive clothes and such are, and learned how to shop for bargains. Plus, since mine no longer spend the same length of time there as they used to, they bring clothes with them, so I don't really save much.

As a matter of fact, for the month the kid will be gone (praise the LORD), I will probably live on a cup of Starbucks in the morning and whatever is quick on the way home from work. No way in H*LL I could do that while he was home.

Like I said - I use that time to try new recipes. As well as have some of my favorites that they don't enjoy. They often cost me more than I would otherwise spend.

Not to mention movies, lunch when he's out with his friends, random money just because, trips to the amusement parks, and so on and so forth.

Again - working teens are wonderful.

 

[CourtClerk]

I don't save much on food when he's gone. But I do when she is.

Now THIS I find hilarious... she eats you out of house and home???? So goes the argument that boys eat more than girls - and she's stick thin. I need her to breathe on me.

They do learn over time.

when? WHEN?

THIS is where I save money when the manchild is away. Those 40-minute showers wreak havoc on my water bill!

I just got out of my third bath today. I definitely run more water than he does.

This is the nice thing about having a working child. (NOT as opposed to a broken one.) My son learned very quickly how expensive clothes and such are, and learned how to shop for bargains. Plus, since mine no longer spend the same length of time there as they used to, they bring clothes with them, so I don't really save much.

He's not old enough to work... He's so waiting for when he is old enough. He said his first job was going to be at Footlocker (yeah!!!!!!!!). If I find them for cheap, he's at $80 - 90/pair.