Need advice on this situation

[MommaBearX3]

Doesn't matter how he pled-- it is a misdemeanor and judging by what OG posted, it won't be admissible either. But yes, the whole difference between no contest and guilty always escapes me.. but I know there IS a technical difference.

At the very least, I'd like to have him be required to undergo random drug testing (blood or hair, urine is a joke for him) and I'd like the kids to have mandatory counseling (there are some other issues going on-- I think it would benefit them greatly to be able to talk to someone neutral). I'd also love to have it ordered that he not move them from their present school district (is that possible with me out of state?) My biggest concern is their stability--

 

[mistoffolees]

Doesn't matter how he pled-- it is a misdemeanor and judging by what OG posted, it won't be admissible either. But yes, the whole difference between no contest and guilty always escapes me.. but I know there IS a technical difference.

At the very least, I'd like to have him be required to undergo random drug testing (blood or hair, urine is a joke for him) and I'd like the kids to have mandatory counseling (there are some other issues going on-- I think it would benefit them greatly to be able to talk to someone neutral). I'd also love to have it ordered that he not move them from their present school district (is that possible with me out of state?) My biggest concern is their stability--

You're not going to be able to get an order for him to have to undergo drug testing without some evidence.

You really need to leave this to your attorney. You don't understand the concept of him being considered fit by default and you can only take away his rights if you can PROVE a danger to the child.

 

[Ohiogal]

I've had to fight for every bit of information that I've been able to get. Medical records, school records-- you name it.

In regards to the 4 weeks-- even if I HAD known about it, in the time it would have taken the courts to hear me, they would have been in school. Not to mention, I'm not in Ohio so how would I have gone about enrolling them in school? I understand the point you are trying to make, but the logistics are more than fuzzy. When the CP refuses to give details or even inform me of changes of address, etc... how exactly should I handle that in the future? Because as sure as I am sitting here, it will happen again. I don't get notification of an address change from him-- EVER. Even at this new house, I got the address from my DAUGHTER rather than him. To be honest, I don't know what I can and cannot do about his lack of communication in regards to these things. If I did, I wouldn't be here looking for advice.

In regards to the domestic violence (I just found these things out within the past month) he was arrested in 2006 and again in 2008. The 2006 story is the one that I have the most information about. The police have been called to his house multiple times (per my children) when he and whoever he is with "get in a fight". However, I know that the police coming to the house likely means nothing, since arrests and convictions don't. I'm not as concerned about the arrests for violence against the girlfriend as I am of the pattern of anger/violence I am hearing about from his mother and from my kids. My interest in whether the DV arrest could be used was meant more to establish a pattern than to be an AHA! moment.

In regards to the drugs-- he was JUST suspended from work within the past 2 months over failing a drug test. In addition, my daughter has flat out told me that yes, he has smoked IN their presence. I would think a hair test would easily prove that. Urine would be iffy-- he is smart enough to know that once he is served he has to be more careful.


In terms of "not doing anything about it"... I do not know what I CAN and CANNOT do... I don't have thousands of dollars to throw at an attorney (wish I did, but I don't) and I don't know how to go about filing contempt charges or anything else in an Ohio court when I reside in Texas.

YOu need to educate yourself regarding the laws. Start with 3109.051(H)(I)(J)(K). Ignorance of the law is NOT a defense.

As for being in Texas -- that doesn't mean you can't participate. Why? Because there is internet and phone and other ways of communicating with people. Being a parent means being PROACTIVE -- it means being involved. There is no reason why you can't contact your child's teacher weekly or monthly by email for progress reports. In fact that law allows for that.

You are in this position because you CHOSE to allow him all the power. If you were in contact with your children's school(s) frequently then you would have known when they were transferred to a new school OR when they weren't there. Instead, you want to rely on him -- yet you say he doesn't tell you anything.

That gives you a credibility problem. You state you have gotten your information from him but he never even tells you if he moves.