Need Advice Quick

[vero1113]

What is the name of your state? Florida

Divorced since 12/1992. Joint custody with the ex but I have residential custody. Son now 18 and daughter 15. Remarried to a seargent in the US Army, now being transferred out of state. Can my ex-husband keep me from taking my daughter to live out of state?

Nervous Mom

 

[msfurman]

Yes he can keep the child from moving. What you need to do is give the court and the father legal notice of the move. Every state is different as to the amount of time given befoer the move. Va is 30 days prior written notice to the court and other party of the move, address, phonenumber etc. The other party has within that time period to contest it. If you dont get notice after whatever your time-period is, you can go ahead and move. But if the court or your ex send you notice that he objects, then you cant and you need to go to court. The goodthing is that your in the military...or your husnband is. That is usually a good excuse, if your ex-contest it. But if you look on your child support or custody or visitation order, itprobablysays in small print what kind of notice you have to give. But after the notice isgiven and no one contest, you can go ahead and move. If he contest after the move, dont worry about it. Go to court or whatever, but basically his statute of limitations would have run up. So, its too bad, Unless he can prove your a terrible mom.

 

[Silverplum]

VA law has nothing to do with FL law. Don't toss around VA law in a FL question: it's just noise and upsets the pets.

Poster, I'm not going to help you move the child from the father. You found this site. Go find FL law. Deal with the situation you have created.

 

[msfurman]

WHATEVER. I was not givingher Va law to go by. I was showing her as an example of what she may have to do. All states have a waiting period. EVERY LAST ONE. She obviously did not know that, so I was informing her of it. I told her, if you would use your eyes, that she needs to check the laws in her state, I told her that every state is different. Stop being so rude. People come on here for advise and support of other people. Not to get rude comments. You obviously dont give a crap about human compassion. So why are you on here? So.......

Vero......once again, check on your support or order documents. They should state what your legal notification for relocation consist of. Mine is 30 days but your maybe differenct. Mine is 30 day written notice as I said, by regular us mail. but I know some other states are 10 days by certified mail. You just need to check or call the clerk of court.

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? Florida

Divorced since 12/1992. Joint custody with the ex but I have residential custody. Son now 18 and daughter 15. Remarried to a seargent in the US Army, now being transferred out of state. Can my ex-husband keep me from taking my daughter to live out of state?

Nervous Mom

How long have you been married to your current husband? Does the father have regular contact with the 15 year old? Does your current husband have choices in duty stations?

 

[Ambr]

Yes.

The father can object and file motions in court to stop it.

 

[vero1113]

Surprised!

Wow, I thought this website was supposed to help people not condemn them. Anyway, I have been married for 10 years. My ex-husband is hurt that we may be moving but he understands and said ok. He's just getting a little nervous now because my daughter went crying to him and feels for her, he doesn't like to see her cry. They see each other every two weeks, do not communicate much if at all during that time frame. He's a good father, not complaining. But because he feels sorry for her, I don't know if he would try to keep her here. That's all. My thanks to msfurman, casa and amber.

What is the name of your state? Florida

Divorced since 12/1992. Joint custody with the ex but I have residential custody. Son now 18 and daughter 15. Remarried to a seargent in the US Army, now being transferred out of state. Can my ex-husband keep me from taking my daughter to live out of state?

Nervous Mom

 

[winn dixie]

I was divorced if Florida....and met a man in the Army....fell in love and wanted to get married....I was the primary parent....in my paperwork it was standard that the primary give the secondary paretn 90 day notice of intent to relocate.

I talked to my ex...I did not want to get marrried to someone that was in the military and risk the situation you are currently in.

At first he was fine....understood, was happy I considered his input and all. He was sort of involved with the kids....and they were 2 and 4 at the time.

Then he decided AFTER I married my husband that he didn't want the kids leaving.

We went to court and my ex husband just threw his hands up and said "Oh go ahead and move"

The judge never said one way or the other if he would have granted permission or not.

the Judge ordered extra visitation in the summer, alternating holidays, and every other weekend if their Dad was willing to transport the kids.

We have to split travel 2x per year.
I meet him alot more than that....I feel it is fair.

In other words it all depends....because you husband is military you stand a better chance but not always....the judge did ask me "Did you consult your ex husband before making another marriage committment to a military member?" Fortunaltley I had....and my ex even admitted I had.

Good Luck....

 

[Silverplum]

Here's the part that I don't get:
"He's just getting a little nervous now because my daughter went crying to him and feels for her, he doesn't like to see her cry. They see each other every two weeks, do not communicate much if at all during that time frame. He's a good father, not complaining. But because he feels sorry for her, I don't know if he would try to keep her here."

YOU want to take your daughter with you.
But you think that the ONLY REASON your daughter's FATHER wants her to stay nearby, is "because he feels sorry for her."

You do not allow him the same feelings you have. You only consider yourself, your feelings, your marriage, your move, you, you, you.

It doesn't even OCCUR to you that the FATHER of the child might have, ya know, FEELINGS for her, TOO?!? And that his love for her might be VALID and REAL?!?

Sheesh.

 

[casa]

Wow, I thought this website was supposed to help people not condemn them. Anyway, I have been married for 10 years. My ex-husband is hurt that we may be moving but he understands and said ok. He's just getting a little nervous now because my daughter went crying to him and feels for her, he doesn't like to see her cry. They see each other every two weeks, do not communicate much if at all during that time frame. He's a good father, not complaining. But because he feels sorry for her, I don't know if he would try to keep her here. That's all. My thanks to msfurman, casa and amber.

With a 10 year marriage under your belt and primary physical custody- Odds are you will be allowed to move.

Give notice prior to the 90 day timeframe outlined in your court order. Send it certified mail (return receipt). File it also in your court file. Include any/all information re; town, base, etc. that you will be moving to.

Offer in writing to share cost of travel expenses and offer extra visitations if he isn't already utilizing all of them. This shows good faith in your ability to continue to foster their relationship even though from a distance.

I was in a similar situation- Courts take seriously the fact that military members have little to no say-so in where they live. With a marriage of your duration, it's obviously not done to have 'reason' to leave the state. The courts want to change as little as possible in the childs life- ie; their home, siblings etc.

Offer every weekend in the months prior to your move- That's what I did....I also sent disposable camera for pix, developed them and made a memory book for child and Dad. Be supportive.

 

[vero1113]

Just For You

You don't have to "GET" anything. I thought this website assisted in finding help and advice, professionally or from personal experience. You are offering neither. So, please don't respond anymore. I would be most greatful. Thanks.

Here's the part that I don't get:
"He's just getting a little nervous now because my daughter went crying to him and feels for her, he doesn't like to see her cry. They see each other every two weeks, do not communicate much if at all during that time frame. He's a good father, not complaining. But because he feels sorry for her, I don't know if he would try to keep her here."

YOU want to take your daughter with you.
But you think that the ONLY REASON your daughter's FATHER wants her to stay nearby, is "because he feels sorry for her."

You do not allow him the same feelings you have. You only consider yourself, your feelings, your marriage, your move, you, you, you.

It doesn't even OCCUR to you that the FATHER of the child might have, ya know, FEELINGS for her, TOO?!? And that his love for her might be VALID and REAL?!?

Sheesh.