Need Advice

[stealth2]

5 minutes? That shouldn't even be an issue either way.

 

[WyattJ]

Not being a dad

The issue is he is not being a dad.....everyone else volunteers in his family to do his responsibility and I'm also the bad guy.

 

[stealth2]

Re: Not being a dad

The issue is he is not being a dad.....everyone else volunteers in his family to do his responsibility and I'm also the bad guy.

That's actually completely beside the point. His parenting time is his to use as he sees fit - with the child, not at all, or having the kid spend time with other family. You may not think it's right, but it's up to him, legally.

 

[WyattJ]

I know its not fair to the child when the father gives the responsibility over to other people. If I have to follow all the rules why can't he? Even though I know its not a rule to spend time with the child....but even so I am ALWAYS made to be the bad guy with the child. Any advice on how to talk to a child who is bagering me because of what the father says and do?

 

[FJ1200guy]

Well, since you are the adult, and the child is a child... tell the child to stop with the badgering. And who cares if everyone thinks you're the bad guy? Why does it matter to you what these people say? Just ignore them, and parent. Your job isn't to control what the Dad tells his kids, or what the grandparents think... nothing you can do there at all. The kid needs to learn to behave when he is with you.

Also, remember that YOU don't get to decide what being a Dad is. He IS the dad already, since you picked him to father the child. He may not fit your ideal definition of a father, but there isn't a thing you can do to change him.

 

[WyattJ]

Well, since you are the adult, and the child is a child... tell the child to stop with the badgering. And who cares if everyone thinks you're the bad guy? Why does it matter to you what these people say? Just ignore them, and parent. Your job isn't to control what the Dad tells his kids, or what the grandparents think... nothing you can do there at all. The kid needs to learn to behave when he is with you.

Also, remember that YOU don't get to decide what being a Dad is. He IS the dad already, since you picked him to father the child. He may not fit your ideal definition of a father, but there isn't a thing you can do to change him.

Well damn I forgot that women can't have emotions and feelings. This is AMERICA we all care what others think of us!

 

[FJ1200guy]

Hmmm, maybe you took what I said the wrong way? I'm just saying do what YOU think is best, f**k the folks that try to make you feel bad about it. I know women have emotions and stuff... BOY do I EVER! lol Us men ahve the same ones... we just aren't as skilled as dealing with or showing them as you females are.
And about everyone in America caring what others think of us?

"This is AMERICA we all care what others think of us!"

You couldn't be more wrong.

 

[stealth2]

Well damn I forgot that women can't have emotions and feelings. This is AMERICA we all care what others think of us!

Oh puh-leaze.

You tell the child that everyone sees things from a different perspective - you see a situation one way, Dad sees it another, son sees it yet a third way. The truth is really somewhere in between them. And sometimes, when a person is angry or upset, it adds another layer to what they're seeing. But what son needs to remember is that both Mom and Dad love him very much, they just sometimes have trouble agreeing on things. Finito, end of story. Hundreds of thousands of parents - fathers and mothers - go through the same thing every day.

 

[jez51]

Well damn I forgot that women can't have emotions and feelings. This is AMERICA we all care what others think of us!

Who says we can't have them? I care about what my family thinks(and sometimes I don't), but as far as the next door neighbors, no I don't, and they certainly don't care what I think about them. In this world you can't please everyone, you'll go crazy trying.

 

[WyattJ]

Oh puh-leaze.

You tell the child that everyone sees things from a different perspective - you see a situation one way, Dad sees it another, son sees it yet a third way. The truth is really somewhere in between them. And sometimes, when a person is angry or upset, it adds another layer to what they're seeing. But what son needs to remember is that both Mom and Dad love him very much, they just sometimes have trouble agreeing on things. Finito, end of story. Hundreds of thousands of parents - fathers and mothers - go through the same thing every day.

I have said that many many of times thank you. At what age does the child see through both parents?

 

[WyattJ]

Hmmm, maybe you took what I said the wrong way? I'm just saying do what YOU think is best, f**k the folks that try to make you feel bad about it. I know women have emotions and stuff... BOY do I EVER! lol Us men ahve the same ones... we just aren't as skilled as dealing with or showing them as you females are.
And about everyone in America caring what others think of us?

"This is AMERICA we all care what others think of us!"

You couldn't be more wrong.

You could be right about that. Sorry about the emotions.

 

[stealth2]

I have said that many many of times thank you. At what age does the child see through both parents?

Depends on the kid.