NJ - Husband has 2 sister. They have an aunt with Alzhiemers. 1 Sister takes in aunt and money for almost 3 years . Get POA and changes the will from 1/3 all to 1/2 for her and 1/4 for siblings. She leaves enough money for 3 years of nursing home cost and equal gifting money for my husband and other sister. (Tells my husband, screw you I took my inheritance you get what's left) Husband doesn't want to get into with her over money, she did take care of her (I say nail her to the wall). Aunt went into nursing home in Sept. 05. I assume nursing home costs 6K a month. She gifted 3k to each sibling in Oct and again in Nov, but not Dec. Spoke to other sister today about not having received a Dec check. Good sister said greedy sister said she gives them checks every two months and the third month she pays the nursing home. Is this a crock of !!!! or what? I understood it that you can gift each month up to the amount you pay to the nursing home each month and must be done all in the same month. I can't get involved (told hubby it's ill gotten and I don't want it) but boy if I could annonously report her to the IRS or something.
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nj gifting crock
- Thread starter bakws
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seniorjudge
Senior Member
bakws said:
Let's start from the top:
"Get POA and changes the will from 1/3 all to 1/2 for her and 1/4 for siblings."
What does this mean and how did it happen?
The aunt gave his sister POA. She could have told her to take what she wants and give the rest to my husband and the other sister. His aunt has always been very generous. My husband felt that so long as the aunt was taken care of, he didn't want to lose his relationship with his neice and nephews over money. I just wanted to know, is their some bizarre two or three month rule in regards to spending down for medicare/aid or is it month by month? Thanks. b.
Ohiogal
Queen Bee
bakws said:
nope. The rule is that your hubby's aunts' assets must cover your aunts' expenses. NO ONE is entitled to any inheritance. Draining it like that is not going to do anyone any good because your aunt will not qualify for medicaid sooner because of this. Rather it could be considered fraud -- any transfer of assets three years before applying for medicaid (now changed to five) counts as assets to be included in calculating medicaid eligibility.
Thanks for you reply. It is fraud and ?breach? of fiduciary trust. My husband has put the money into an escrow account (he doesn't trust her). I can't even talk to him about it, because I have such negative opinions of his sister and the situation. My Mom always says "what goes around, comes around". Hopefully there is a speck of goodness that comes out of changing the asset transfer rule. 3 to 5 years for the sister sounds reasonable. Thanks again. b.
Just curious--how much money is your husband holding in escrow?
The POA is one thing--he really should be checking with a probate attorney or family law attorney to find out if your state has laws against abuse of power of attorney and whether what she has done qualifies for that or not.
But the bigger issue is she had no business to change the will, if it was done without aunt's permission. By doing so and "taking her inheritance now", she has used POA to get a larger share of the estate than she would normally have gotten and she needs to account for all of the money she has gotten--all money she gets under POA is supposed to be spent for the lady's care, and anything else she gets she could be charged with theft or your husband or his attorney should be finding out if this lady's will truly reflects her current wishes or not, so that he can avoid the need to possibly contest it later on if it was NOT her wishes. But of course he is too afraid to find out what his financial losses are in this because he doesn't want to "hurt someone else's feelings". Gee whiz!!
DANDY DON IN OKLAHOMA (tiekh@yahoo.com)
The POA is one thing--he really should be checking with a probate attorney or family law attorney to find out if your state has laws against abuse of power of attorney and whether what she has done qualifies for that or not.
But the bigger issue is she had no business to change the will, if it was done without aunt's permission. By doing so and "taking her inheritance now", she has used POA to get a larger share of the estate than she would normally have gotten and she needs to account for all of the money she has gotten--all money she gets under POA is supposed to be spent for the lady's care, and anything else she gets she could be charged with theft or your husband or his attorney should be finding out if this lady's will truly reflects her current wishes or not, so that he can avoid the need to possibly contest it later on if it was NOT her wishes. But of course he is too afraid to find out what his financial losses are in this because he doesn't want to "hurt someone else's feelings". Gee whiz!!
DANDY DON IN OKLAHOMA (tiekh@yahoo.com)
Thanks for the input D.D. My H and his good sister received 3 - 3k checks (Oct, Nov and Jan) totalling 9k. Evil sister told good one every 3rd month she pays the nursing home (that has to be bs). The Aunt went into the hospital for 2 days in early Dec. I think the evil one figured it's to her advantage not to gift her siblings if the Aunt passes, either that or she bought some nice Christmas gifts (not for my kids). Haven't seen any Feb check yet. I don't understand why my husband isn't stepping up to the plate. We have a very good marriage, but this is just a very sensitive and painful subject for him. I can't even bring it up. I wouldn't even screw over a stranger like that, forget about family. I would love to see the evil one screwed though (?freuden schmerzen?) Lesson learned, it pays to take care of your affairs. A good attorney is priceless.
Aren't there other relatives who are beneficiaries who are also being screwed? Please tell one of them that they need to be contesting the will or getting this POA charged with abuse of POA if she is not spending all of the monies she is getting on the elder care and if she is also not accounting for it officially.
I don't know whats in the POA. I don't think my husband has seen any paperwork. Hubby's good sister is unable to fight this (young stroke victim, currently on disability, gifted money is a god-send to her). My mother-in-law is still in the picture (abusee's sister), but she does not get along with her sister and was glad that her daughter moved her away from her. I would report her if it didn't jeopardize my marriage, but it would. I'm not a good liar, so I don't lie. What if the Aunt had sat in the attorney's office and said for the evil one to take whatever she wants and just leave enough to make it to medicaid eligibility. I'm 99% sure she would not, but what if she did?
When someone applies for Medicaid, he/she allows Medicaid access to bank/financial account records. This is done to check for "spending down" that includes gifting assests. There are numerous resources for stroke victims. Your SIL changing the will is something that she should NOT have done. The focus of your thread has been NOT receiving gifted monies from the aunt via the POA. Again, this is something that your husband and his family need to deal with. They are the ones who are allowing this.bakws said: