No heat or hot water @ Dads...

[Bitter Mom]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? IN

Divorce pending for 10 months. No papers drawn up on anything yet(c/s or visitation). Dad hasn't seen kids but maybe 6 times since Jan 2004. I asked him to take them several times throughout the year. In the past few days he said something about coming to get them for a weekend. He doesn't have heat or hot water & I am concerned about that. It's getting cold here in Indiana. I don't want to deny visitation at all but this is not right. He says if I won't let them go he will indicate to the courts(whenever we do FINALLY get there) that I have deprived him visitation. Everything is well documented on visitation.

Am I legally obligated to send them under these circumstances since nothing has been ordered? Am I obligated because he IS their father and does have rights?

Note: I did offer for him to come here to visit for a day but he rejected the proposal.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? IN

Divorce pending for 10 months. No papers drawn up on anything yet(c/s or visitation). Dad hasn't seen kids but maybe 6 times since Jan 2004. I asked him to take them several times throughout the year. In the past few days he said something about coming to get them for a weekend. He doesn't have heat or hot water & I am concerned about that. It's getting cold here in Indiana. I don't want to deny visitation at all but this is not right. He says if I won't let them go he will indicate to the courts(whenever we do FINALLY get there) that I have deprived him visitation. Everything is well documented on visitation.

Am I legally obligated to send them under these circumstances since nothing has been ordered? Am I obligated because he IS their father and does have rights?

Note: I did offer for him to come here to visit for a day but he rejected the proposal.

No, since there are no visitation orders set yet you are not legally obligated to send them. You can't be held in contempt for that since there are no orders. He could try to make "noise" in court that you denied him visitation, however since you have it well documented that he has only chosen to have them 6 times since January and currently doesn't have heat or hot water I don't think he would get very fair with his "noise". I would tell him to either get a furnace and water heater installed, pronto, or stay in a hotel or with family with the kids...or they won't be going with him.

I live in Indy. My furnance went out Friday night and it was darned cold until I got it repaired on Saturday. I can't imagine how cold it would have been if the heat hadn't been on prior to it breaking down. That is no way for kids to have to live, even for a weekend.

 

[stealth2]

Note to self... Cancel weekend camping trip with kids for December.

For starters, how do you know he has no heat or hot water? And how do you know that he doesn't intend to keep the kids somewhere where there is heat and hot water? Or, well, heat. Really, I do take my kids camping in winter - while there's a campfire, there's no other heat or running water - hot or not. And we're talking in the NE, so not a "warmer" clime.

Though w/o a court order, you're not required to make the kids available.

 

[tigger22472]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? IN

Divorce pending for 10 months. No papers drawn up on anything yet(c/s or visitation). Dad hasn't seen kids but maybe 6 times since Jan 2004. I asked him to take them several times throughout the year. In the past few days he said something about coming to get them for a weekend. He doesn't have heat or hot water & I am concerned about that. It's getting cold here in Indiana. I don't want to deny visitation at all but this is not right. He says if I won't let them go he will indicate to the courts(whenever we do FINALLY get there) that I have deprived him visitation. Everything is well documented on visitation.

Am I legally obligated to send them under these circumstances since nothing has been ordered? Am I obligated because he IS their father and does have rights?

Note: I did offer for him to come here to visit for a day but he rejected the proposal.

You say the divorce is pending and no papers have been drawn up. Is there NOT a temporary order? I live in Indiana and although there wasn't a final paper in my hand at the first court date visitation and C/S were addressed at the first hearing.

 

[Bitter Mom]

I see your point Stealth, about your camping in December, if that's your thing. I don't much care for camping or winter for that matter. To each his own. Please don't take that as sarcasm. Some people love camping and cold weather. Some of you like to camp during cold winter. Guess i'm just not one who likes to rough it.

As far as "knowing" that he doesn't have heat or hot water. I know this because he thought he could scam the insurance company by damaging the propane tank and saying that it had been damaged in a storm so he lost all of the propane. I'm surprised they didn't come after him. The propane company had to come and assess the tank and indicated that the tank couldn't have been damged by a storm. The tank had been empty since 12-03, (this happened in July). The company also showed the tank as being empty long before this and therefor knew he was trying to defraud the ins co. They then removed the tank since he damaged their property. No tank means no heat or hot water(gas water heater). I have seen myself that there is no tank on the property.

Dad doesn't have a place to take kids. No family. No $ for hotel; or so he says as i've not been getting any cs for kids. Friends? He has plenty but even he will admit that they are all drinking buddies that he wouldn't have them around.

As far as a temporary order-my atty hasn't done anything. We've not had our 1st court hearing yet. Needless to say, I am hiring a new atty.

 

[stealth2]

No tank means no heat or hot water(gas water heater). I have seen myself that there is no tank on the property.

They make space heaters.

 

[king sol]

You should do what is in the best interest of the children. That is allowing them to enjoy a relationship with thier father. Your talking about a weekend, not a lifetime. I'm sure that there are many many Americans that go without hot water and heat at some point in there lives. Not to mention the rest of the world who live everyday without the accomodations we have.

Let your children love both you and thier dad, it really is in thier best interest.