No Rights For Step Dad

[Ohiogal]

Depending on what the "meeting" is, that may not be correct. Of course, if this were an IEP meeting, I'm sure the OP would have said so...(that's where I was headed with this)

But if OP has some sort of criminal history, or a restraining order or something of that nature that could prevent attendance at even an iep meeting.

 

[Zigner]

But if OP has some sort of criminal history, or a restraining order or something of that nature that could prevent attendance at even an iep meeting.

Fair enough

 

[FarmerJ]

If your wife invites you to attend with her , she is free to tell any official in the school system that she has invited you to attend with her and if they refuse her attending with you and they have no legal reason to refuse then she should suggest that the party who is attempting to interfere that they can be named in a civil suit. As far as your attending any meeting you should expect that the conversation may be directed to your wife unless this Childs father is willing to allow you to adopt the child or dies, your legal rights are that of a stranger. Know this children who have a bio parent that is not involved / doesnt see the child , etc figure it out on their own , they do know who it is that parents them / loves them / cares for them.

 

[Proserpina]

If your wife invites you to attend with her , she is free to tell any official in the school system that she has invited you to attend with her and if they refuse her attending with you and they have no legal reason to refuse then she should suggest that the party who is attempting to interfere that they can be named in a civil suit. As far as your attending any meeting you should expect that the conversation may be directed to your wife unless this Childs father is willing to allow you to adopt the child or dies, your legal rights are that of a stranger. Know this children who have a bio parent that is not involved / doesnt see the child , etc figure it out on their own , they do know who it is that parents them / loves them / cares for them.

A civil suit for what, exactly?

 

[dannyt]

you are not dad

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Kentucky

Today, I went with my wife to a meeting at her son's (my step son's) school. I was told that I could not participate, because I was not a legal guardian. So basically, I have the right to support him and parent him at home, but I don't have the right to be involved in his scholastic future?

They said they have to "Invite" the biological father to participate. My step son is 6 years old, the father hasn't seen him since he was 4 months old. He makes sporadic child support payments, but in over 5.5 years. has made no attempt to contact his son. Why does this jerk get rights and I get none. Besides his grandfather, I am the only stable man this child has ever known! How do I remedy this?!?

you cant. this jerk as you call him is the child's father. you are not. you are noone legally to this child. you have no right to make any decisons about him. you have no legal standing to do anything in court. you have no say over anything that pertains to him. do you understand now?

 

[FarmerJ]

Prosperina havent you ever bluffed some one who thought they had authority to do something or some sort of magic on their side when they did not have any legal ground to stand on & bluffed them to make them back down ??? If you had some one telling you `you cant do ` fire back and make em think you will challenge them? , More than once I had tenant disputes where tenant claimed `you cant ` and my response was `If I take you to court, it will hurt you more than me ? the way things are now most school districts voters are painfully aware of things that cost them money like school boards making bad bad buy out deals or defending staff or so called bad poor policy. Nothing changes the fact that the step dad may care about the child and has no legal standing but if there is no legal reason for step dad to not be invited to go with MOM by mom then she can be the one to bluff them into backing down and allowing step dad to attend , he just should not expect them to direct any part of the meeting to him.

 

[Proserpina]

Prosperina havent you ever bluffed some one who thought they had authority to do something or some sort of magic on their side when they did not have any legal ground to stand on & bluffed them to make them back down ??? If you had some one telling you `you cant do ` fire back and make em think you will challenge them? , More than once I had tenant disputes where tenant claimed `you cant ` and my response was `If I take you to court, it will hurt you more than me ? the way things are now most school districts voters are painfully aware of things that cost them money like school boards making bad bad buy out deals or defending staff or so called bad poor policy. Nothing changes the fact that the step dad may care about the child and has no legal standing but if there is no legal reason for step dad to not be invited to go with MOM by mom then she can be the one to bluff them into backing down and allowing step dad to attend , he just should not expect them to direct any part of the meeting to him.

Nope, I've never done that.

Because if you bluff me, you better be damn sure you're going to follow through. I'm not bullied easily

And you're missing the point here. The school doesn't NEED to give Mom a reason. Period. End of. Even if.

 

[RRevak]

Again, can't quote but this is in response to Pros comment about the school not needing to give a reason as to why step-dad cannot attend. I'm sorry but i'm going to completely disagree wholeheartedly on this one. This is moms HUSBAND, not some random joe schmoe found wandering on the streets. This is MOMS child and therefor MOM gets to decide who she wants to attend meetings and who she does not. The school has NO authority to tell mom that she can't have her husband be part of the childs educational decisions as quite frankly, its just not their business. If this were some special meeting, IEP perhaps or something similar, I MIGHT say its a possibility. BUT, again this being moms child and she is legally allowed to invite whomever she wishes to functions regarding HER child. This is in my opinion a HUGE overstep on the part of the school and if I were mom I would be making a HUGE deal to not permit them to step into areas they have NO legal standing to make decisions about.

 

[Zigner]

Again, can't quote but this is in response to Pros comment about the school not needing to give a reason as to why step-dad cannot attend. I'm sorry but i'm going to completely disagree wholeheartedly on this one. This is moms HUSBAND, not some random joe schmoe found wandering on the streets. This is MOMS child and therefor MOM gets to decide who she wants to attend meetings and who she does not. The school has NO authority to tell mom that she can't have her husband be part of the childs educational decisions as quite frankly, its just not their business. If this were some special meeting, IEP perhaps or something similar, I MIGHT say its a possibility. BUT, again this being moms child and she is legally allowed to invite whomever she wishes to functions regarding HER child. This is in my opinion a HUGE overstep on the part of the school and if I were mom I would be making a HUGE deal to not permit them to step into areas they have NO legal standing to make decisions about.

Actually, if this is an IEP, the school has less of a right to object, not more

 

[Proserpina]

Again, can't quote but this is in response to Pros comment about the school not needing to give a reason as to why step-dad cannot attend. I'm sorry but i'm going to completely disagree wholeheartedly on this one. This is moms HUSBAND, not some random joe schmoe found wandering on the streets. This is MOMS child and therefor MOM gets to decide who she wants to attend meetings and who she does not. The school has NO authority to tell mom that she can't have her husband be part of the childs educational decisions as quite frankly, its just not their business. If this were some special meeting, IEP perhaps or something similar, I MIGHT say its a possibility. BUT, again this being moms child and she is legally allowed to invite whomever she wishes to functions regarding HER child. This is in my opinion a HUGE overstep on the part of the school and if I were mom I would be making a HUGE deal to not permit them to step into areas they have NO legal standing to make decisions about.

Disagreeing is fine

 

[RRevak]

OK this not being able to quote is getting bothersome. Zig, i'm not that familiar with IEP meetings so that's why I made the statement of the "might" part.

 

[RRevak]

Pro, where are the legal grounds for the school to arbitrarily decide who mom gets to bring to her childs meetings because seriously, if my daughters school EVER dreamed of telling me I couldn't bring my non-biological husband to meetings with me there would be some serious raining of fire and brimstone on my part!

 

[Proserpina]

Pro, where are the legal grounds for the school to arbitrarily decide who mom gets to bring to her childs meetings because seriously, if my daughters school EVER dreamed of telling me I couldn't bring my non-biological husband to meetings with me there would be some serious raining of fire and brimstone on my part!

Because essentially, it's up to them who they want or don't want on the premises.

I'm not saying it's right. I'm also not saying it's fair.

But, it happens.

(Wrt to the quoting thing - have you tried ad-block & turning off java?)

 

[Antigone*]

Prosperina havent you ever bluffed some one who thought they had authority to do something or some sort of magic on their side when they did not have any legal ground to stand on & bluffed them to make them back down ??? If you had some one telling you `you cant do ` fire back and make em think you will challenge them? , More than once I had tenant disputes where tenant claimed `you cant ` and my response was `If I take you to court, it will hurt you more than me ? the way things are now most school districts voters are painfully aware of things that cost them money like school boards making bad bad buy out deals or defending staff or so called bad poor policy. Nothing changes the fact that the step dad may care about the child and has no legal standing but if there is no legal reason for step dad to not be invited to go with MOM by mom then she can be the one to bluff them into backing down and allowing step dad to attend , he just should not expect them to direct any part of the meeting to him.

We don't advice people to "bluff" here Farmer - it could backfire. Heck, at the end of the day this man is a legal stranger to this child and while I'm sure the school will not object if he is there at mom's invitation, the school will probably only address their concerns with mom. Step dad should understand that he is there at mom's request to listen and offer support to her, not to participate in the discussions.

Again, it is correct for the school not to invite this man. Mom however should speak up and say, "I invited him so he is attending this meeting with me."

 

[TheGeekess]

Because essentially, it's up to them who they want or don't want on the premises.

I'm not saying it's right. I'm also not saying it's fair.

But, it happens.

(Wrt to the quoting thing - have you tried ad-block & turning off java?)

Not java, Pro. Javascript. But no reason to turn it off when using ad-block.