California
My ex-wife of 16 years and I have been legally separated/divorced for nearly 3 years and in the divorce settlement, she got two houses (which she sold), precious metals and my thrift savings plan (about $100,000 in all) and I got the family residence, which needs many repairs. After a year and a half of her having been given the Gavron Warning, living rent-free with her parents, her refusing to get a job and having our then 16 year old son and 15 year old daughter share a room with bunkbeds, I interviewed a new attorney who said "it's time to file a motion for modification. We can either get it terminated or significantly reduced" This was a 14 months ago and she still has not gotten a job. We have one child still at home, who will be 18 in May of 2018.
Over the last year, I have provided my attorney plenty of evidence of her taking multiple vacations, involving the kids in the divorce, failing to show for court-ordered mediation, failing to take court-ordered parenting classes, sending me harassing e-mails, allowing her parents and other family members to disparage me, allowing our daughter to travel out of town unsupervised and not telling me and starting and stopping psychological counseling for the kids without informing me. My attorney failed to respond to some of my e-mails and in other e-mails he and his staff got the wrong information about my case. Also, last summer, instead of asking the court to impute her income, he had the judge order a vocational evaluation, which I had to pay for ($2600). I asked him why he didn't just ask for the judge to impute her income and he said "this is what you want. Trust me"
She did the evaluation and she withheld information (stated that she had no formal education even though she has had a BA in Business Administration for more than 22 years). This affected the outcome because it changed her earning potential.
About 3 months ago my ex and I were scheduled for a conference in my attorney's office. She did not show, as she supposedly got the wrong location and was 30 miles away. My attorney and her attorney talked. They said they would impute her at minimum wage. I asked why he didn't do that the previous year and he said "well this is a start. We'll have to wait until we see the results of the evaluation." A couple days later, her attorney sent a proposal for me to wave repayment of the evaluation fees and for my amount to go up more than $1000 per month. He also calculated my income at $30,000 more per year than I make (or have ever made). Her attorney said this is what his client (my ex)proposed. I sent my attorney a response and told him that she and her attorney were attempting to perpetrate a fraud upon the court and that I didn't make that much. I did not get a response from him. I later asked him why he didn’t respond and he said “well, there is a negotiation process. They always start off higher and then we negotiate.” My attorney also typed up a RFO for me to request attorney fees from my ex-wife. This was his office suggesting that I incurred fees due to her actions.
We had a court hearing scheduled last week. The week before the court date, I proposed a settlement for him to offer to my ex and her attorney. I called the day before the trial and was told by his paralegal "Mr ****** did not send anything to opposing counsel. He is really good at negotiating and thinks it would be better to do in person at the courthouse.” When we got to the courthouse and the attorneys met, I asked him if he had made the proposal to opposing counsel. He said "let's wait and see what they offer". He came back with a stipulation that had me paying her an increase over what I was currently paying and had me paying her for 5 more years. I told him I have been unemployed two times since we separated and that I am on a contract the lasts until next June. I am also a disabled vet rated at 100% disability and the 5 hours per day for my commute is difficult on my back and my legs. I asked about that and the multiple vacations my ex has taken, her failure to comply with all the court's orders and the fact that she lied about her education on the vocational evaluation. He also said she was asking for fees and would likely get them. I told him that had she not failed to comply with the court’s orders, she would not have had to hire an attorney and we would not have had to come to court. He said none of that mattered ( although that is not what he told me previously). He said "if the judge sees these numbers (Xspouse), he is going to raise your support”. I told him there was no way I could sustain paying her for the next 5 years, as it is difficult for me to walk and that the only reason I have not left my job is because I don't want to get in trouble for not paying. He said "you are getting a good deal if you take this because it has an end-date to it”. He said "it was a long-term marriage. The judge is not going to terminate it. It has never been done. If you want to roll the dice, go ahead, but many clients before failed to take my advice and they regretted it." He was very aggressive and impatient with me.
I signed the paper because I allowed him to intimidate me and believed him at the time, but I don't now. I am pretty sure the judge would have admonished her and I think I had a good case for termination of support (or at least reducing it).
Also the order states "support shall be non-taxable to wife." I didn't know how the court could make that determination to exempt her from taxes, so I signed it. It did NOT say that I would have to pay taxes on the money I am required to give her. I certainly wouldn't have signed it if it had that language.
I believe I was tricked into signing this order and I believe there was enough information to compel the judge to change it. I do not believe there is any way I can sustain this income and my payments to her for the next 5 years.
I am confident that my attorney committed malpractice, but I know proving it can be an uphill battle, as people who do this know what they are doing.
There were several instances when his office did not return my phone calls and e-mails and did not send me important documents when requested. He even got some of the information regarding my case incorrect. I believe he also billed for things he did not do. I have requested copies of detailed billing statements, but have not received them.
Is there anything I can do? I really don’t want any responses from attorneys who assume I was not 100% honest with my attorney. I was the only one who was honest and nothing changed from the time he told me it was time to hire him until the time we went to court last week except that more time went by without her getting a job and I am still struggling financially.
My ex-wife of 16 years and I have been legally separated/divorced for nearly 3 years and in the divorce settlement, she got two houses (which she sold), precious metals and my thrift savings plan (about $100,000 in all) and I got the family residence, which needs many repairs. After a year and a half of her having been given the Gavron Warning, living rent-free with her parents, her refusing to get a job and having our then 16 year old son and 15 year old daughter share a room with bunkbeds, I interviewed a new attorney who said "it's time to file a motion for modification. We can either get it terminated or significantly reduced" This was a 14 months ago and she still has not gotten a job. We have one child still at home, who will be 18 in May of 2018.
Over the last year, I have provided my attorney plenty of evidence of her taking multiple vacations, involving the kids in the divorce, failing to show for court-ordered mediation, failing to take court-ordered parenting classes, sending me harassing e-mails, allowing her parents and other family members to disparage me, allowing our daughter to travel out of town unsupervised and not telling me and starting and stopping psychological counseling for the kids without informing me. My attorney failed to respond to some of my e-mails and in other e-mails he and his staff got the wrong information about my case. Also, last summer, instead of asking the court to impute her income, he had the judge order a vocational evaluation, which I had to pay for ($2600). I asked him why he didn't just ask for the judge to impute her income and he said "this is what you want. Trust me"
She did the evaluation and she withheld information (stated that she had no formal education even though she has had a BA in Business Administration for more than 22 years). This affected the outcome because it changed her earning potential.
About 3 months ago my ex and I were scheduled for a conference in my attorney's office. She did not show, as she supposedly got the wrong location and was 30 miles away. My attorney and her attorney talked. They said they would impute her at minimum wage. I asked why he didn't do that the previous year and he said "well this is a start. We'll have to wait until we see the results of the evaluation." A couple days later, her attorney sent a proposal for me to wave repayment of the evaluation fees and for my amount to go up more than $1000 per month. He also calculated my income at $30,000 more per year than I make (or have ever made). Her attorney said this is what his client (my ex)proposed. I sent my attorney a response and told him that she and her attorney were attempting to perpetrate a fraud upon the court and that I didn't make that much. I did not get a response from him. I later asked him why he didn’t respond and he said “well, there is a negotiation process. They always start off higher and then we negotiate.” My attorney also typed up a RFO for me to request attorney fees from my ex-wife. This was his office suggesting that I incurred fees due to her actions.
We had a court hearing scheduled last week. The week before the court date, I proposed a settlement for him to offer to my ex and her attorney. I called the day before the trial and was told by his paralegal "Mr ****** did not send anything to opposing counsel. He is really good at negotiating and thinks it would be better to do in person at the courthouse.” When we got to the courthouse and the attorneys met, I asked him if he had made the proposal to opposing counsel. He said "let's wait and see what they offer". He came back with a stipulation that had me paying her an increase over what I was currently paying and had me paying her for 5 more years. I told him I have been unemployed two times since we separated and that I am on a contract the lasts until next June. I am also a disabled vet rated at 100% disability and the 5 hours per day for my commute is difficult on my back and my legs. I asked about that and the multiple vacations my ex has taken, her failure to comply with all the court's orders and the fact that she lied about her education on the vocational evaluation. He also said she was asking for fees and would likely get them. I told him that had she not failed to comply with the court’s orders, she would not have had to hire an attorney and we would not have had to come to court. He said none of that mattered ( although that is not what he told me previously). He said "if the judge sees these numbers (Xspouse), he is going to raise your support”. I told him there was no way I could sustain paying her for the next 5 years, as it is difficult for me to walk and that the only reason I have not left my job is because I don't want to get in trouble for not paying. He said "you are getting a good deal if you take this because it has an end-date to it”. He said "it was a long-term marriage. The judge is not going to terminate it. It has never been done. If you want to roll the dice, go ahead, but many clients before failed to take my advice and they regretted it." He was very aggressive and impatient with me.
I signed the paper because I allowed him to intimidate me and believed him at the time, but I don't now. I am pretty sure the judge would have admonished her and I think I had a good case for termination of support (or at least reducing it).
Also the order states "support shall be non-taxable to wife." I didn't know how the court could make that determination to exempt her from taxes, so I signed it. It did NOT say that I would have to pay taxes on the money I am required to give her. I certainly wouldn't have signed it if it had that language.
I believe I was tricked into signing this order and I believe there was enough information to compel the judge to change it. I do not believe there is any way I can sustain this income and my payments to her for the next 5 years.
I am confident that my attorney committed malpractice, but I know proving it can be an uphill battle, as people who do this know what they are doing.
There were several instances when his office did not return my phone calls and e-mails and did not send me important documents when requested. He even got some of the information regarding my case incorrect. I believe he also billed for things he did not do. I have requested copies of detailed billing statements, but have not received them.
Is there anything I can do? I really don’t want any responses from attorneys who assume I was not 100% honest with my attorney. I was the only one who was honest and nothing changed from the time he told me it was time to hire him until the time we went to court last week except that more time went by without her getting a job and I am still struggling financially.
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