Not interested in child's best interests?

[kw0602]

What is the name of your state? AL

My ex and I were divorced in 1998. At that time she full custody of our then 2 and 3 year old. Last year I was awarded full custody of my kids. I had 3 witnesses (2 former daycare owners, and a former best friend of my ex) and a GAL that sould have testified for me.

Here are my questions
1. My ex has telephone visitation ordered for two times a week. When she calls the kids are usually not there. If they are there I let them talk to her but I do not let them call her back. Do I have to let them call her twice a week. (I did allow them to call her but sometimes she will not talk to them and they are hurt when they get off the phone with her.)

2. Do I have to tell her if I move out of town before I move if our order does not state I have to ?(Our order states that I have to let her know where the children reside.

3.If something happened to me, could I put in a will that I want my kids to live with their stepmother or someone in my family and not my x? (My current order states that my kids are to be supervised when they are with their maternal grandmother and half sister. This was done by the GAL, not me.)

4. My kids call their stepmother mom. When my wife and I first met my kids called their mom by her first name. The kids said they wanted to call my wife mom. So their mother made them call her mom too. Now she has a problem with that. Can she do anything legally about it?

5. My kids went to visit with their mom last weekend. She had no heat and my kids came back telling me that they ate a sandwich and cereal for that day and they were hungry (this was 6:00 pm). They did not brush their teeth or take a bath all weekend. And they had to sleep with their coats on because it was so cold. When the kids told her that htey were cold she told them that it was their stepmother's fault because she did not send them with a heavier coat. Is there anything that I can do about that? I have thought about reporting her to DHR. She knew that I would have allowed them to come at a different time if she had no heat.

 

[CRYROSE1]

report her. that is not a very smart thing to do have them with no heat- and blaming your wife NOT RIGHT at all. she sounds jelious.

as far as telling her you move to a new town before you do - i would not belive so as long as you tell her after - but out of state would most likly be a bad idea -lots of state you have to ask the NCP on that type of move.

as long as you don't make the kids call your current wife mom - she legal can't do anything - it is there choice.

about the phone you do have to and if they are not home you should let them call her back it is the order that she gets phone calls,as far as ther hurt feelings all you can do is try to help the feel better. you dont want her saying you dont let her talk to them it would be contempt of court.

as far as if you leaving a will about where your kids live , sorry to tell you your current wife would have no luck with getting the kids unless your ex's rights got termenated or was found unfit by the state, the ex would have leagl rights for them to live with her. you can put you request in writting but not sure it would hold up in court.

GOOD LUCK

 

[stealth2]

Here are my questions
1. My ex has telephone visitation ordered for two times a week. When she calls the kids are usually not there. If they are there I let them talk to her but I do not let them call her back. Do I have to let them call her twice a week. (I did allow them to call her but sometimes she will not talk to them and they are hurt when they get off the phone with her.)

> If she has court-ordered phone visitation, you really do need to be certain the children are there at the specified times. If they are not, you need to make sure they call her back. Unless you enjoy defending yourself against a contempt citation.

2. Do I have to tell her if I move out of town before I move if our order does not state I have to ?(Our order states that I have to let her know where the children reside.

> This is state dependent. Some states have statutes that govern what type of notice you must provide, and what the requirements are for you to be permitted to move the children. I would suggest you find out what they are before you make any plans to move anywhere. Unless you enjoy defending yourself against a contempt citation.

3.If something happened to me, could I put in a will that I want my kids to live with their stepmother or someone in my family and not my x? (My current order states that my kids are to be supervised when they are with their maternal grandmother and half sister. This was done by the GAL, not me.)

> Nope. Children are not possessions - you cannot leave them to someone. Their other bioparent will be first in line for custody. Your current wife can file, and a judge will decide.

4. My kids call their stepmother mom. When my wife and I first met my kids called their mom by her first name. The kids said they wanted to call my wife mom. So their mother made them call her mom too. Now she has a problem with that. Can she do anything legally about it?

5. My kids went to visit with their mom last weekend. She had no heat and my kids came back telling me that they ate a sandwich and cereal for that day and they were hungry (this was 6:00 pm). They did not brush their teeth or take a bath all weekend. And they had to sleep with their coats on because it was so cold. When the kids told her that htey were cold she told them that it was their stepmother's fault because she did not send them with a heavier coat. Is there anything that I can do about that? I have thought about reporting her to DHR. She knew that I would have allowed them to come at a different time if she had no heat.

> The teeth & baths are going to be nonstarters. The heat may or may not be. Depends on how sudden the change in weather was, and whether this was a first time there's been this issue. However, it is worth calling CPS and reporting it. But I have to take issue with "She knew that I would have allowed them to come at a different time if she had no heat." Since she knows you don't allow the children to return her calls, how is she to know you'll allow them to visit at a different time?

 

[haiku]

What is the name of your state? AL

My ex and I were divorced in 1998. At that time she full custody of our then 2 and 3 year old. Last year I was awarded full custody of my kids. I had 3 witnesses (2 former daycare owners, and a former best friend of my ex) and a GAL that sould have testified for me.

Here are my questions
1. My ex has telephone visitation ordered for two times a week. When she calls the kids are usually not there. If they are there I let them talk to her but I do not let them call her back. Do I have to let them call her twice a week. (I did allow them to call her but sometimes she will not talk to them and they are hurt when they get off the phone with her.)*** if the wording in your order says the kids must be abvailable, you are risking contempt charges. Phone VISITATION is worded that way because the courts considered it as important as real time visits.

2. Do I have to tell her if I move out of town before I move if our order does not state I have to ?(Our order states that I have to let her know where the children reside.***every state has its own stipulations, it would be wise to check BEFORE moving.

3.If something happened to me, could I put in a will that I want my kids to live with their stepmother or someone in my family and not my x? (My current order states that my kids are to be supervised when they are with their maternal grandmother and half sister. This was done by the GAL, not me.) No you cannot wil childen as you do possesions. you can state your "wish" and step mom can petition, but bio-mom gets custody of her children, unless yo ucan prove MAJOR issues.

4. My kids call their stepmother mom. When my wife and I first met my kids called their mom by her first name. The kids said they wanted to call my wife mom. So their mother made them call her mom too. Now she has a problem with that. Can she do anything legally about it? **no....but you might want to choose names and stick to them before these kids get more confused.

5. My kids went to visit with their mom last weekend. She had no heat and my kids came back telling me that they ate a sandwich and cereal for that day and they were hungry (this was 6:00 pm). They did not brush their teeth or take a bath all weekend. And they had to sleep with their coats on because it was so cold. When the kids told her that htey were cold she told them that it was their stepmother's fault because she did not send them with a heavier coat. Is there anything that I can do about that? I have thought about reporting her to DHR. She knew that I would have allowed them to come at a different time if she had no heat. **not reall provable in court, including the heat, unless you can prove she has none.

 

[kw0602]

According to my decree it states the she is ALLOWED telephone visits two times per week. There are no specified times nor does it state that I have to call her back for them.

I can get records of her gas bill. And after the visit in the cold, my kids both came back sick and I had to take them to the Dr.

She knew that I would switch with her because I have done it before when there is a situation that may affect my kids.

I have already proved her unfit, which is why I have custody of the kids now. I have several people her friends, and school workers wo would continue to say that she is a bad parent. I am afraid that my kids would not only be in danger but maybe even die if they got back into her care for any long period of time. When they get older I will explain all of this to them.

And they do know that stepmom is not their mom, they say they like to call her that because she acts like mom. I thought that was pretty smart for such young kids.