obtains custudy with lies

[Indiana Filer]

Which Indiana county?

Where does your ex live in Indiana?

 

[ddsmith]

Where does your ex live in Indiana?

jasper county idiana

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Why do you refuse to answer reasonable questions, such as, why didn't you file for contempt when he failed to return the children after visitation?

 

[BethM]

Why do you refuse to answer reasonable questions, such as, why didn't you file for contempt when he failed to return the children after visitation?

Maybe because she had no knowledge of the process
Maybe because she had no finances
Maybe because she was too emotionally upset to think straight
Maybe because she is someone who is ignorant of the system and ignorant of how to fight the system
Maybe because... there could me dozens of reasons why she didn't do what you think she should have done in order for you to give her some sort of constructive help at this time.

What the hell does it matter why she didn't do it back then? She can't go back and change that and, if you are going to hold out on her based on the fact that you won't offer her advice until she answers questions like this then what good are you?

Get over yourself. The woman didn't come on here and asked what she could have done last summer. She came on here and asked what she could do now. All you are doing by insisting that she answer "simple questions" is muddying the waters. What she did or didn't do last summer has little impact on what she does now and in the future. Why not help her with that instead of riding around on your high horse and asking foolish questions?


Umm...yeah, FROM A FRIEND! What part of this is so difficult to understand?

And your point is? Are you insinuating that she isn't worthy of advice because she learned of the new court date from a friend? Would she only be worthy if she had learned it from the court clerk? Please, explain to me the problem you have with the avenue in which this woman learned of a new court date.

I have two attorneys. When the divorce process started for me I foolishly waited around for them to contact me. Stupid of me and I finally learned that if I wanted info I would have to go after it from either the attorney or the court clerk. Maybe, just maybe this woman is in the learning process.

Maybe she is where we have all been at one time or another and trying to figure out what to do next. Isn't that why most of us end up on this site to begin with. I don't understand the withholding of information from someone based on the fact that they didn't ask the right questions of the right people or file the right court order at the right time.

You people need to get over yourselves. If you can't do that then why not only post to those who you deem worthy of your advice and stop adding to other people's problems by making statements that cause them to feel worse than they already do? Oh, maybe that is why you come here in the first place...to sling some mud and judge others?

This woman didn't do anything except ask for help and folks who have all the answers and live superior lives just can't help but point out to her how inferior she is as a mother and person. Get over it for God's sake.

 

[amiegaines654]

Why do you refuse to answer reasonable questions, such as, why didn't you file for contempt when he failed to return the children after visitation?

Maybe because she had no knowledge of the process
Maybe because she had no finances
Maybe because she was too emotionally upset to think straight
Maybe because she is someone who is ignorant of the system and ignorant of how to fight the system
Maybe because... there could me dozens of reasons why she didn't do what you think she should have done in order for you to give her some sort of constructive help at this time.

What the hell does it matter why she didn't do it back then? She can't go back and change that and, if you are going to hold out on her based on the fact that you won't offer her advice until she answers questions like this then what good are you?

Get over yourself. The woman didn't come on here and asked what she could have done last summer. She came on here and asked what she could do now. All you are doing by insisting that she answer "simple questions" is muddying the waters. What she did or didn't do last summer has little impact on what she does now and in the future. Why not help her with that instead of riding around on your high horse and asking foolish questions?


Umm...yeah, FROM A FRIEND! What part of this is so difficult to understand?

And your point is? Are you insinuating that she isn't worthy of advice because she learned of the new court date from a friend? Would she only be worthy if she had learned it from the court clerk? Please, explain to me the problem you have with the avenue in which this woman learned of a new court date.

I have two attorneys. When the divorce process started for me I foolishly waited around for them to contact me. Stupid of me and I finally learned that if I wanted info I would have to go after it from either the attorney or the court clerk. Maybe, just maybe this woman is in the learning process.

Maybe she is where we have all been at one time or another and trying to figure out what to do next. Isn't that why most of us end up on this site to begin with. I don't understand the withholding of information from someone based on the fact that they didn't ask the right questions of the right people or file the right court order at the right time.

You people need to get over yourselves. If you can't do that then why not only post to those who you deem worthy of your advice and stop adding to other people's problems by making statements that cause them to feel worse than they already do? Oh, maybe that is why you come here in the first place...to sling some mud and judge others?

This woman didn't do anything except ask for help and folks who have all the answers and live superior lives just can't help but point out to her how inferior she is as a mother and person. Get over it for God's sake.

Very well put!!!!! I agree with you 100%. Some people are not here to offer advise. It is impossible for any of us to actually know what one individual is going through. These people that think that the system is 100% right, and will always help must have never been screwed by the system. It does happen people. Wake up

OP I wish you the best of luck in getting your children back. Assuming that what you say is correct, your in for an up-hill battle. I hope that the system will work in your favor this time. Unfourtunatly I have no legal advise for you other than to keep fighting for your kids!!!! Good Luck!

 

[ddsmith]

this is why

Why do you refuse to answer reasonable questions, such as, why didn't you file for contempt when he failed to return the children after visitation?

you cant file a contempt charge if some already has custody and you cantt know to file a charge when its june 15 and your children arent due to be returned until july ....NO IM NOT AN IDIOT I LOVE MY CHILDREN AND I WANT THEM BACK I CAME ON HERE LOOKING FOR HELP NOT YOUR STUPID QUESTIONS I NEED HELP I HAVE NO MONEY IF THERE IS ANYONE WHO CAN TELL ME HOW TO FILE A APPEAL HOW TO PROVE MY EX LIED TO THE COURT LEGALLY NOT JUST BECAUSE I SAY SO BECAUSE THE JUDGE WONT LISTEN TO THAT NO I HAVE NEVER BEEN IN JAIL HE HAS MANY TIMES OVER HE LIES LIES LIES AND HE HAS A LAWYER I MAKE $30.00 A MONTH TO MUCH FOR LEGAL AID I JUST NEED TO KNOW WHAT PAPERS TO FILE AND HOW TO DO IT AND I PRAY THAT YOU AND OTHERS NEVER HAVE TO GO THROUGH WHATI AM DEALING WITH LOSEING YOUR CHILDREN AND HAVEING THEM THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY AND NOT BEING ABLE TO HOLD THEM HUG THEM AND SEE THERE LITTLE FACES EVERY DAY IS THE WORST THING IN THE WORLD I MISS THER FIGHTNG AND NOT WANTING TO BRUSH THERE TEETH AT NIGHT I WOULD DO ANYHING TO BE ABLE TO PICK UP THERE CLOTHS OFF THE BATHROOM FLOOR AGAIN SO PLEASE IF YOU CANT HELP ME THEN SAY NOTHING AT ALL.UT IF YOU CAN THEN PLEASE DO OR EMAIL ME DUGNDANISMITH@AOL.COM

 

[rmet4nzkx]

If you want advice you need to answer questions.
Yes you can file contempt BECAUSE HE VIOLATED THE VISITATION ORDER and tou should have.
If his attorney knowingly filed papers stating that you had been in jail and failed to vet his client's claims and or encouraged perjury, then file a complaint with the bar association, and sanctions in court.
Have you thought of filing for full custody?
It is too late for an appeal.

 

[BethM]

I JUST NEED TO KNOW WHAT PAPERS TO FILE AND HOW TO DO IT

Did you do as I suggested and call the court clerk in Indianna? You can petition for full custody. You can file a petition to clarify the order he has that gave him custody. This would give you the opportunity to prove in court that he and his attorney lied about the situation.

You can't do anything though until you speak to the court clerk, discern exactly what needs to be filled out to get the process started. No one here can tell you exactly what needs to be filled out because the process is different from one state, to another and one country to another.

 

[LdiJ]

If you want advice you need to answer questions.
Yes you can file contempt BECAUSE HE VIOLATED THE VISITATION ORDER and tou should have.
If his attorney knowingly filed papers stating that you had been in jail and failed to vet his client's claims and or encouraged perjury, then file a complaint with the bar association, and sanctions in court.
Have you thought of filing for full custody?
It is too late for an appeal.

Rmet.....he got the ex-parte order for custody BEFORE the end of the visitation period. He got the order by stating that she was in jail. She could not have filed for contempt.

She could have filed to get the order vacated...but she obviously didn't know that and didn't have the money to get legal help.

To the OP: Here is a link to the Indiana government website Law/Justice section. In the center of the page you will see "Clerk of the Courts" and links for forms and filing information. Good luck!

http://www.in.gov/ai/law/

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Rmet.....he got the ex-parte order for custody BEFORE the end of the visitation period. He got the order by stating that she was in jail. She could not have filed for contempt.

She could have filed to get the order vacated...but she obviously didn't know that and didn't have the money to get legal help.

To the OP: Here is a link to the Indiana government website Law/Justice section. In the center of the page you will see "Clerk of the Courts" and links for forms and filing information. Good luck!

http://www.in.gov/ai/law/

If she had filed contempt when he failed to return the children, she would have learned he had gotten the ex parte order for tempoary custody, the court would have known that this was contested and that the address was not correct, she would have then been able to answer the charges before the order was made permenant. There is some reason there is a dispute about the address. She can file sanctions against his attorney if there is perjury. She can file for full custody, nothing is stoping her from doing that and asking for a different judge if there was judicial error.

 

[LdiJ]

If she had filed contempt when he failed to return the children, she would have learned he had gotten the ex parte order for tempoary custody, the court would have known that this was contested and that the address was not correct, she would have then been able to answer the charges before the order was made permenant. There is some reason there is a dispute about the address. She can file sanctions against his attorney if there is perjury. She can file for full custody, nothing is stoping her from doing that and asking for a different judge if there was judicial error.

No...there was nothing stopping her from doing all of that....other than lack of knowledge of the law...and lack of funds to hire an attorney.

Lets remember that the legal system in this country is intimidating as HELL to the average person.....and equally unaffordable. Yeah...if a parent lets YEARS go by without educating themselves then they are just as much at fault as the other parent...but she hasn't done that....yes. its been too long...but she is fighting back now and she deserves contructive help.

 

[care716]

Why?

Ohio
Why does it seem like many of the people that answer posters questions on here always seem to simply tell them what they "should" have done? The questions are in the HERE and NOW. I imagine all of us can figure out that perhaps had we had the knowledge at the TIME we would have done something differently! Seems a waste of space...and yes I know now I am opening myself up to getting stomped by the posters who tend to tell you "What you should have done..."
To the poster...Good Luck to you girl I can't offer you any legal advice, but don't beat yourself up about the past many people have what are supposed to be great attorneys and still have things like this happen, it would be nice if you could get a court appointed attorney for custody cases.
Q. Are there no Indiana attorneys on here willing to tell her exactly what she can file with the courts and how to word these filings? I know in Ohio I have been able to meet with an attorney on a one time basis and he gave the information needed to proceed on my own giving tips as to wording and explained the process in laymens terms. As to going to Indiana for the hearing, so often they are delayed or rescheduled and if the ex has a brain I would imagine he would attempt to have this occur to cause her to spend excess time in indiana therefor losing her job and looking less than capable of caring for the children. I understand why she would want to be sure if she should spend the money to make the trip now versus waiting until she knew for sure what was going on. And I think it's clear she loves her kids, just because she isn't as financially set to fight this, that doesn't make her love any less. There are many things I want with every ounce of my being, that doesn't mean I can have them...

 

[Thunderstruck]

What is the name of your state?ndiana my ex obtained custody of our 4 children during his visitaion he told the courts that i was in jail and then gave them a false address so i wouldnt know about the court date and theygave it to him(custody)and he has since then requested more child support and he gave a false address agaon i found out there is a court date on the 19 by a friend of his i live in florida and this is in indiana i was not served with a subpena do i have to go and can they fill contempt charges o me if i do not show since i was never legally served with papers?

Damn I cannot believe your ex lied,and the courts believed him,I would try to go to court and tell your side of the story.Maybe you'll get the kids back.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Damn I cannot believe your ex lied,and the courts believed him,I would try to go to court and tell your side of the story.Maybe you'll get the kids back.

What help it that? How do they do this if there are no court dates?
Maybe

 

[Thunderstruck]

What help it that? How do they do this if there are no court dates?
Maybe

I would like to see her get her kids back. No mother should be without her kids. The judge needs to know that the ex lied and work something out,and not keep believing the ex and his pathetic lies.