Off Topic - Humor for IAAL

[withonel]

What is the name of your state? CA

Saw this today and thought of IAAL

An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40 and says to the driver, "Got any ID?"

The driver says, "'Bout what?"

******************************

Two Mississippians are walking toward each other, and one is carrying a sack.

When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, whatcha got in th' bag?"

"Jes' some chickens." "If I guesses how many they is, kin I! have one?"

"Shoot, if ya guesses right, I'll give you both of 'em!"

"OK. Ummmmm...five?"

****************************

An Alabamian came home and found his house on fire. He rushed next door,

telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here-muh house is on

fahr!" "OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"

"Shucks, don't you fellers still have those big red trucks?"

*********************

Why do folks in Kentucky go to R-rated movies in groups of 18 or more?

Because they heard 17 and under aren't admitted.

******************************

Know why they raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32?

They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high school.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

Thanks for the FACTUAL anecdotes.

IAAL

 

[craftymom]

In the interest of fairness.....

What's the difference between a woman and a moose in Maine?

The flannel shirt

 

[MarlysEllen]

RULES FOR ENTERING ARKANSAS

The following list of rules applies to each person as they enter
Arkansas. Learn 'em & remember 'em.


1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.


2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road". I drive a
pickup truck because I need to. No matter how slow you drive,
you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.


3. So you have a $60,000 dollar SUV. We're impressed. We have
quarter-million dollar air conditioned tractors that we drive 3 weeks a year.


4. Every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try
to understand the concept.


5. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of ducks are coming in, we
WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it
up to your ear at the time.


6. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawdads. You really want sushi & caviar?
It's available at the corner bait shop.


7. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a
religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.


8. Men open doors for women. That is applied to everyone, regardless
of age.


9. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or
you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.


10. High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the
Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.


11. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit the water hazards - it
spooks the fish.


12. GOD BLESS ARKANSAS !!!
>

 

[hexeliebe]

WOOOOOOOOOO Pig!

SOOOOOIE!

 

[JETX]

MarlysEllen:
Thank you for the great post!!
It truly shows those "California" whiny-ass, liberals have no idea how the REAL world lives.....

Yep, California, the land of the fruits and nuts.....

 

[hexeliebe]

And that coming from a man from the state that "STOLE" the 1969 College Football championship from the razorbacks

Gotta give you your props Jet

 

[cookie57]

MarlysEllen:
Thank you for the great post!!
It truly shows those "California" whiny-ass, liberals have no idea how the REAL world lives.....

Yep, California, the land of the fruits and nuts.....

"whiny-ass, liberals". Easy enough to say, huh?

But I think they would identify themselves as having " Emotionally Charged Syndrom stemming from regressed feelings of a bad childhood resulting in the inability to express opinions and/or feelings without self control."

 

[JETX]

And that coming from a man from the state that "STOLE" the 1969 College Football championship from the razorbacks

Gotta give you your props Jet

"Texas 15
Arkansas 14
December 6, 1969

It was No. 1 Texas, winners of 18-straight vs. No. 2 Arkansas, winners of 15-straight in the showpiece game in college footballs 100-year anniversary. It was a game that received almost unprecedented national hype when it was moved from October 18th to December 6rh to give it more of a national audience. It worked as the move made it the focus of the entire sporting world doing a television rating of a 50 share. In other words, half the TV sets in the country were on this game. The game was given even a loftier status when a helicopter carried in President Richard Nixon, who had said he would name the winner of this game the national champion.

"Arkansas took a 14-0 lead, and then Texas quarterback James Street began a great fourth quarter by running for a 42-yard touchdown and converted the two-point conversion. On fourth and three late in the game, Street hit Randy Peschel for a 44-yard play called 53 veer pass. The pass was a shock from the hard-core running team and would've caused colossal controversy if it didnt work. Jim Bertelson scored on a two-yard run to tie the game. The conversion from Happy Feller put Texas up 15-14 with just under four minutes to play. Arkansas wasn't finished as the Hogs marched down the field as the it looked like the game would come down to a game-deciding field goal attempt. But the Longhorns won the game, and the national title, when they intercepted a Bill Montgomery pass with 1:22 to play on the UT 21. Texas went on to win the Cotton Bowl over Notre Dame and finished the season No. 1 but after this game, President Nixon handed over a national championship trophy to Texas in their locker room. Arkansas lost to Ole Miss in the Sugar Bowl."

Almost embarrassed to say it now....
"Flower Power, sex and wine,
We're the class of 69!"

And this from a FOUR PLUS generation Californian!!

 

[hexeliebe]

That hurt Jet...that really really hurt.

 

[plumuniq]

Land of Fruits & Nuts!

[Yep, California, the land of the fruits and nuts.....]


Well, I'm a Westerner. From Az. Born in Ca., actually lived in Ca.
several years, but in N. CA., although more yrs. in AZ.

And -I whole heartedly AGREE! Fruits & Nuts! (Including my ex
and his family)! Esp., S. Cal., near LA-(Bakersfield-the "armpit" )now there's some fruit loops there for sure... (like Judges who apparently haven't a clue what the UCCJEA is and flagrantly disregard it)! Pam