Out of State Visitation

[Fatherof4]

What is the name of your state? MS

I currently have temp care, custody, and control of my child (since Oct 03). In the temp order it says that the child may not be removed from this state without a written order from the court. Mother lives in AZ and has just had a new baby. She e-mailed me a few days ago asking if she can have visitation at her parents house in GA in Nov to visit with her (he has only seen her 15 minutes since beginning of July 02), her parents and to meet the new baby. The next possible court date will be in Oct but there is nothing scheduled yet. I am not sure how to respond to her e-mail. I don't want to seem mean or make her angry. Any advise would be helpful.

 

[tigger2two]

Just be honest!!

tell her that you don't want to sound mean or upset her, and that you agree the child should be allowed to met the sibling. BUT you can't go against a court order bc you would be held in contempt. Tell her to petition the courts for a date and you will be more than happy to allow the visit once a judge says its okay.

 

[Fatherof4]

It's not that easy. Anytime I mention anything about court she gets pissy. The judge practically MADE her get a lawyer. We still have to go to court for permenant custody. My lawyer doesn't want to do anything until her lawyer contacts him with a date or something. So we are just waiting now but I guess the longer I have him the better.

 

[tigger2two]

dont worry about her getting pissy. save all emails and show them in court they work trust me!. her getting pissy isn't worth you going to jail for contempt. and if she says other wise in an email then she is only showing the judge that she has no consideration of what he says.

 

[Fatherof4]

Ok, this is exactly what I wrote to her, trying to be as nice as possible.

Sorry I haven't gotten back to you but I am waiting to hear from my lawyer. I think it would be great if **** can come visit with you and your family. He is going to love to meet his brother. The only thing right now is that the order says, "Said child shall not be removed from the State of Mississippi without a written order of this Court." I haven't been able to visit my grandparents in Colorado because I can't take him out of state either and I don't want to go against the court order. I will let you know what my lawyer says as soon as he gets back to me, which should be tomorrow. Hopefully **** will get to come.

And this is what she wrote back to me. It seems to be written in angry letters.

I know what the order says. The point of me asking is that I was going to ask
my lawyer to submit a request for me to have him at that time. But I needed to make sure you weren't going to say no before I got the paperwork rolling. Your lawyer really has nothing to do with it. I am going to submit a request to the judge not your lawyer. Its up to the judge as to if I can take **** or not.

Again I don't know how to respond. And this request she is talking about, it it just wishful thinking on her part or can you really get the courts permission to take a child out of the current jurisdiction before permenant custody is decided?

 

[LdiJ]

Ok, this is exactly what I wrote to her, trying to be as nice as possible.

Sorry I haven't gotten back to you but I am waiting to hear from my lawyer. I think it would be great if **** can come visit with you and your family. He is going to love to meet his brother. The only thing right now is that the order says, "Said child shall not be removed from the State of Mississippi without a written order of this Court." I haven't been able to visit my grandparents in Colorado because I can't take him out of state either and I don't want to go against the court order. I will let you know what my lawyer says as soon as he gets back to me, which should be tomorrow. Hopefully **** will get to come.

And this is what she wrote back to me. It seems to be written in angry letters.

I know what the order says. The point of me asking is that I was going to ask
my lawyer to submit a request for me to have him at that time. But I needed to make sure you weren't going to say no before I got the paperwork rolling. Your lawyer really has nothing to do with it. I am going to submit a request to the judge not your lawyer. Its up to the judge as to if I can take **** or not.

Again I don't know how to respond. And this request she is talking about, it it just wishful thinking on her part or can you really get the courts permission to take a child out of the current jurisdiction before permenant custody is decided?

Yes, its possible that a judge could order that if the judge feels confident that she will return the child to the jurisdiction. The main purpose for those types of orders is to ensure that one of the parents won't attempt to remove the child from the jurisdiction in order to avoid rulings by the judge...or in an attempt to establish jurisdiction in another state. So it really depends on what kinds of guarantees she is willing to give the judge, and how credible the judge finds her (or her attorney) to be. I suspect that unless she is ruled as a "flight risk"...that a judge would be likely to approve that kind of visit....just as a judge would be likely to approve you visiting your family in Colorado.

 

[Fatherof4]

The only thing that bothers me is the judge we have drawn is only in my county's venue every three months. The next time he will be here is Oct meaning he could hear her request before her planned trip. Why would she just try to get permission to take him out of jurisdiction when in all actuality we could have the permenant custody hearing instead?