parental abduction

[howamidoing]

You are already being charged with contempt, go ahead, keep it up, then you will get a break from your kids.

BTW, does your airline have a policy about using company resources for personal business? Do they have a confidentiality policy? Does you ex know that you are accessing his confidential records and abusing your position with your company?

Good Call!

 

[rmet4nzkx]

For more history see these threads
https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=169890 https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=239914
This has been going on for a loooooong time.

 

[howamidoing]

For more history see these threads
https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=169890 https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=239914
This has been going on for a loooooong time.

Where these posted just a week apart? Maybe she didnt like the advice from the other thread so she decided to start a new one. I think I noted a little bit of resentment and a little bit of the green eyed monster in her threads. Maybe shes mad that a new woman is getting her ex and gets to be in the kids lives. Im not saying he is the perfect Father but come on, camp and flute lessons? Thats really something to be fighting over. Heck, when I was a kid I never got the luxury of either and my parent's were still together. She should just be thankful she doesnt have to fight over serious things like her children's hospital bills from being seriously ill or the like. Well, I guess thats just my opinion, Im sure someone will tell me that I am Sensationalizing it...lol

 

[LdiJ]

I honestly felt like this mother wasn't being treated fairly in this thread. Now after reading those other two threads I am 100% convinced of it.

The dad is an absolute jerk and deserves no consideration.

Nevertheless, I have to probably agree that its wisest to give him the visitation this weekend. He files bogus contempt charges frequently....the magistrate is already irritated with him about it. If this DOES happen to be his weekend (and it sounds to me like his wife is the kind of person who would have kept track) then you don't want to give him any real ammunition.

Just make sure that your attorney continues to ask that he pay your legal fees. Try to get the attorney to point out to the magistrate the inequity in the whole thing....the fact that he has unnecessarily dragged out the time and costs involved in trying to get a new parenting plan in place etc.

 

[howamidoing]

I honestly felt like this mother wasn't being treated fairly in this thread. Now after reading those other two threads I am 100% convinced of it.

The dad is an absolute jerk and deserves no consideration.

Nevertheless, I have to probably agree that its wisest to give him the visitation this weekend. He files bogus contempt charges frequently....the magistrate is already irritated with him about it. If this DOES happen to be his weekend (and it sounds to me like his wife is the kind of person who would have kept track) then you don't want to give him any real ammunition.

Just make sure that your attorney continues to ask that he pay your legal fees. Try to get the attorney to point out to the magistrate the inequity in the whole thing....the fact that he has unnecessarily dragged out the time and costs involved in trying to get a new parenting plan in place etc.

Just remember there are 3 sides to every story....Her side...His side...And the truth. His being a jerk has nothing to do with the fact that he has a LEGAL RIGHT to see his kids based on the court order. Her being the "good" Mother SHOULD have taken the time to keep a record of whose weekend it is. I agree, like I said before, that he is probably a jerk, HOWEVER, he is still the Father and she cant do anything about that NOW.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Where these posted just a week apart? Maybe she didnt like the advice from the other thread so she decided to start a new one. I think I noted a little bit of resentment and a little bit of the green eyed monster in her threads. Maybe shes mad that a new woman is getting her ex and gets to be in the kids lives. Im not saying he is the perfect Father but come on, camp and flute lessons? Thats really something to be fighting over. Heck, when I was a kid I never got the luxury of either and my parent's were still together. She should just be thankful she doesnt have to fight over serious things like her children's hospital bills from being seriously ill or the like. Well, I guess thats just my opinion, Im sure someone will tell me that I am Sensationalizing it...lol

One of those threads was from January 2004!

 

[howamidoing]

One of those threads was from January 2004!

I didnt notice that. So see this is not just a spur of the moment problem. She tried to make us believe he just sprang this visitation on her. I really think she should just be thankful he wants anything to do with his kids. My 6 year only sees his Father in the grocery store. He doesnt even talk to my son. So it could be worse. One day she may be on the other end of the visitation as someone said before.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I didnt notice that. So see this is not just a spur of the moment problem. She tried to make us believe he just sprang this visitation on her. I really think she should just be thankful he wants anything to do with his kids. My 6 year only sees his Father in the grocery store. He doesnt even talk to my son. So it could be worse. One day she may be on the other end of the visitation as someone said before.

It seems to be more an issue of resentment of the new wife who also is a professional (dentist) and her spouse having more income and their moving to be near her family in California. There seems to be some history of harassment on OP's part and a need to continue the relationship with ex under the guise of coparenting, thus her continual need to communicate directly with him and his response of limiting communication. Her using her company's computer to survail his activities borders on obsession. While his previous contempt motions were not upheld, the fact that she has to pay her own attorney's fees, says something, this is without the judge knowing about the invasion of privacy.

 

[LdiJ]

It seems to be more an issue of resentment of the new wife who also is a professional (dentist) and her spouse having more income and their moving to be near her family in California. There seems to be some history of harassment on OP's part and a need to continue the relationship with ex under the guise of coparenting, thus her continual need to communicate directly with him and his response of limiting communication. Her using her company's computer to survail his activities borders on obsession. While his previous contempt motions were not upheld, the fact that she has to pay her own attorney's fees, says something, this is without the judge knowing about the invasion of privacy.

Calling no more than twice a week in a co-parenting situation is hardly an indication of harassment or an indication of a need to maintain a relationship with her ex.

Having a good co-parenting relationship for several years, until he remarried, and then being disappointed when the co-parenting relationship completely breaks down, is a legitimate reason to be frustrated. So is the fact that he moved 2000 miles away from his kids just to make the new wife happy too.

Dad is clearly harassing her with court and has indicated an intent to destroy her financially. Explaining the financial breakdown so that those responding understand........is not an indication of jealousy or resentment. Dad telling her not to communicate with him at all unless its a true emergency is far more indicative of resentment and jealously on the part of his new wife, than anything else in her story. The fact that the new wife feels his kids aren't important because they are adopted is also indicative of the same.

Since I am pretty darned certain that ANYBODY who had access to flight information would attempt to ascertain whether or not a person was actually coming, in a similar situation, I hardly think that indicates obsession.

She isn't allowed to communicate to him about the kids....yet he takes her to court for contempt if she makes necessary decisions without his imput.....I think that tells the whole story in a nutshell.

 

[brisgirl825]

Calling no more than twice a week in a co-parenting situation is hardly an indication of harassment or an indication of a need to maintain a relationship with her ex.

Having a good co-parenting relationship for several years, until he remarried, and then being disappointed when the co-parenting relationship completely breaks down, is a legitimate reason to be frustrated. So is the fact that he moved 2000 miles away from his kids just to make the new wife happy too.

Dad is clearly harassing her with court and has indicated an intent to destroy her financially. Explaining the financial breakdown so that those responding understand........is not an indication of jealousy or resentment. Dad telling her not to communicate with him at all unless its a true emergency is far more indicative of resentment and jealously on the part of his new wife, than anything else in her story. The fact that the new wife feels his kids aren't important because they are adopted is also indicative of the same.

Since I am pretty darned certain that ANYBODY who had access to flight information would attempt to ascertain whether or not a person was actually coming, in a similar situation, I hardly think that indicates obsession.

She isn't allowed to communicate to him about the kids....yet he takes her to court for contempt if she makes necessary decisions without his imput.....I think that tells the whole story in a nutshell.

I couldn't agree more. Sounds like the stereo-typical SP coming in and disrupting the lives of innocent children.

Sarah

 

[dannysmyboy]

Where these posted just a week apart? Maybe she didnt like the advice from the other thread so she decided to start a new one. I think I noted a little bit of resentment and a little bit of the green eyed monster in her threads. Maybe shes mad that a new woman is getting her ex and gets to be in the kids lives. Im not saying he is the perfect Father but come on, camp and flute lessons? Thats really something to be fighting over. Heck, when I was a kid I never got the luxury of either and my parent's were still together. She should just be thankful she doesnt have to fight over serious things like her children's hospital bills from being seriously ill or the like. Well, I guess thats just my opinion, Im sure someone will tell me that I am Sensationalizing it...lol

We do people assume that she's an e-wife resentful of the new wife. We know absolutely nothing about either women. And maybe the kids were doing fluke lessons before they broke up, if that's the case, then yes, I feel it should be included. The guy makes $185K, sound's like a flute lesson or 2 isn't going to financially bankrupt the guy.

Seems like when someone responds to a poster in a negative manner, other people feel they can jump right in and do the same. Before you jump in, read the original postings....I know I've been guilty of this, and I've promised myself to stop....and really listen to the issue.

 

[howamidoing]

We do people assume that she's an e-wife resentful of the new wife. We know absolutely nothing about either women. And maybe the kids were doing fluke lessons before they broke up, if that's the case, then yes, I feel it should be included. The guy makes $185K, sound's like a flute lesson or 2 isn't going to financially bankrupt the guy.

Seems like when someone responds to a poster in a negative manner, other people feel they can jump right in and do the same. Before you jump in, read the original postings....I know I've been guilty of this, and I've promised myself to stop....and really listen to the issue.

Fluke lessons? No we dont know anything about either mother, but we do know of the OP's kind. Your here spewing your opinion but we who disagree with you are not allowed to. Hmmm....What he makes as an income is not the issue. The issue is HER not letting the FATHER exercise his legal visitation. I'd like to see ANY Judge who would agree that it is okay for her to DECIDE when the Father gets to see his children solely based on the fact that it is inconvenient for her because SHE wants a break. If she continues to NOT DO WHAT THE COURT ORDER SAYS, she may get more breaks than she bargained for. As far as the minor things like lessons and camp. If he pays child support why should he have to pay for ALL the little things? I know why..because he makes more money. If it is not in the agreement then Mother shouldnt be complaining. Father probably isnt signing the "new" agreements because he feels he doesnt have to pay for every little thing Mom wants him to. Like I said before there are 3 sides to every story.

 

[dannysmyboy]

Fluke lessons? No we dont know anything about either mother, but we do know of the OP's kind. Your here spewing your opinion but we who disagree with you are not allowed to. Hmmm....What he makes as an income is not the issue. The issue is HER not letting the FATHER exercise his legal visitation. I'd like to see ANY Judge who would agree that it is okay for her to DECIDE when the Father gets to see his children solely based on the fact that it is inconvenient for her because SHE wants a break. If she continues to NOT DO WHAT THE COURT ORDER SAYS, she may get more breaks than she bargained for. As far as the minor things like lessons and camp. If he pays child support why should he have to pay for ALL the little things? I know why..because he makes more money. If it is not in the agreement then Mother shouldnt be complaining. Father probably isnt signing the "new" agreements because he feels he doesnt have to pay for every little thing Mom wants him to. Like I said before there are 3 sides to every story.

Never said your opinion didn't matter..chill out. I'm a step mother, and my husband's X is not an angel, but I'm trying to give the poster the benefit of the doubt. We've already told her she has to abide by what the court order says, why do people keep repeating that issue. It's not going to help her at all to keep bashing her. She hasn't responded in a while, so she probably already got that message. Not all OPs are good or bad...some are worse or better. If we have real-life expereinces and advice to pass along to people, then we should. But why make these posters feel like fools or idiots. They are just like us...looking for the answers to life...if possible.

 

[Inquiry123]

Kidnapped!

Admission: I have not read any of the previous posts.
Disclaimer: I will not be reading any of the previous posts. That would border on obsession.

OK, Dad's a jerk. SM's a slut. Mom's borderline. Whatever.

I thought the real issue was "parental abduction". Mom's so worried about the kids being 'napped...but won't be able to leave work because of staffing problems. OK, right. Has Dad ever abducted the children? Threatened abduction? Will he flee to Canada? South America?

Sounds more like a power-struggle. Diffuse the situation. Give peace a chance. Call Dad and offer to let him pick the kids up after school. Let Dad have the weekend. Screw him. Go out for a movie!

PS: Don't bump him off that flight!

 

[howamidoing]

Admission: I have not read any of the previous posts.
Disclaimer: I will not be reading any of the previous posts. That would border on obsession.

OK, Dad's a jerk. SM's a slut. Mom's borderline. Whatever.

I thought the real issue was "parental abduction". Mom's so worried about the kids being 'napped...but won't be able to leave work because of staffing problems. OK, right. Has Dad ever abducted the children? Threatened abduction? Will he flee to Canada? South America?

Sounds more like a power-struggle. Diffuse the situation. Give peace a chance. Call Dad and offer to let him pick the kids up after school. Let Dad have the weekend. Screw him. Go out for a movie!

PS: Don't bump him off that flight!

LOL...The best advice all day!