Parking lot incident

[bhz1]

Pennsylvania

I accidentally bummped into a parked car while trying to park in a tight space at a shpooing mall parking lot . The damage did not look too bad- jjust like a bit of my bumper paint in the door. I had my elderly mother with me and she needed the restroom. I needed to park in a larger spot before doing anything else and get her into the bathroom. I had not damage to my car other than paint off of my bumper.

I had nothing in my car or purse to write with so my intent was to run into the mall to get a pen do my quick errand and come back out to leave a note on the car. In the meantime, my mother saw a few things and we were int he mall a while (maybe 45 minutes.) I went to go get the car to pick up my mother who was standing by the mall entrance and noticed a paper under my wiper. It was a notice of accident report. Had a note to call atheofficer. I assumed that the person had come out of the mall first saw the marks on the car and reported it and they looed and found my car with the paint off the bumper. As my cell phone was dead I figured I'd call as soon as I got home. Before I culd back oput of the space the officer had his patrol car behind me and came to my window and accused me of leaving the scene of an accident. At this point I told him that I was going to collect my 81 year old mother at the mall entrance and was going to go leave a note. He asks for my licence and registration and I then ask if i can go get my mother to which he said i could. I went and got her and when I cam e bak he told me he was going to cite me for leaving the scene of an accident and that he "could have" arrested me and put me in jail. He didnt believe that i was going to put a note on the car and at no time suggested that I could do so at that time. It tured out that the owner of the car was still in the mall- someone had seen this happen.

Interestingly the officer said that the 2 witnesses were still in the car. I think it was undercover police to be honest as there is a good deal of auto theft and problems at the mall. I was so flustered I didnt even think to ask if I could do the note then. all he said was that he would leave my information on the car for me. The person called me and she was very nice and understanding. She told me that she didnt think it was that bad most of the mark came off with a baby wipe. There is a small mark which I said that either I or my insurance company would take care of.
What i am worried about is haveing the"leaving the scene of an accident " on my driving record. it seems so sinister as I was not intendeing to do that. Timing may have been bad and I had poor judgement in not handling it better, but I feel wrongly accused. I realize it "looks" really bad and its really "my word" that counts but the other car owner said that she would no press charges. Does that mean that I won't get cited? I did not receive a citation today he said it would be mailed to me. If i do get cited do I have any chance if I appear in court of at least getting the charge reduced. I dont mind the fine as much as what they are calling what i supposedly did.

I feel the only thing I am guilty of is stupidity.

 

[Happy Trails]

Pennsylvania

I accidentally bummped into a parked car while trying to park in a tight space at a shpooing mall parking lot . The damage did not look too bad- jjust like a bit of my bumper paint in the door. I had my elderly mother with me and she needed the restroom. I needed to park in a larger spot before doing anything else and get her into the bathroom. I had not damage to my car other than paint off of my bumper.

I had nothing in my car or purse to write with so my intent was to run into the mall to get a pen do my quick errand and come back out to leave a note on the car. In the meantime, my mother saw a few things and we were int he mall a while (maybe 45 minutes.) I went to go get the car to pick up my mother who was standing by the mall entrance and noticed a paper under my wiper. It was a notice of accident report. Had a note to call atheofficer. I assumed that the person had come out of the mall first saw the marks on the car and reported it and they looed and found my car with the paint off the bumper. As my cell phone was dead I figured I'd call as soon as I got home. Before I culd back oput of the space the officer had his patrol car behind me and came to my window and accused me of leaving the scene of an accident. At this point I told him that I was going to collect my 81 year old mother at the mall entrance and was going to go leave a note. He asks for my licence and registration and I then ask if i can go get my mother to which he said i could. I went and got her and when I cam e bak he told me he was going to cite me for leaving the scene of an accident and that he "could have" arrested me and put me in jail. He didnt believe that i was going to put a note on the car and at no time suggested that I could do so at that time. It tured out that the owner of the car was still in the mall- someone had seen this happen.

Interestingly the officer said that the 2 witnesses were still in the car. I think it was undercover police to be honest as there is a good deal of auto theft and problems at the mall. I was so flustered I didnt even think to ask if I could do the note then. all he said was that he would leave my information on the car for me. The person called me and she was very nice and understanding. She told me that she didnt think it was that bad most of the mark came off with a baby wipe. There is a small mark which I said that either I or my insurance company would take care of.
What i am worried about is haveing the"leaving the scene of an accident " on my driving record. it seems so sinister as I was not intendeing to do that. Timing may have been bad and I had poor judgement in not handling it better, but I feel wrongly accused. I realize it "looks" really bad and its really "my word" that counts but the other car owner said that she would no press charges. Does that mean that I won't get cited? I did not receive a citation today he said it would be mailed to me. If i do get cited do I have any chance if I appear in court of at least getting the charge reduced. I dont mind the fine as much as what they are calling what i supposedly did.

I feel the only thing I am guilty of is stupidity.

Her not pressing charges has nothing to do with you getting cited. The officer observed it and it is the officer who is giving the citation.

As far as getting the charges reduced, who knows, you could give it a shot.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Pennsylvania

I accidentally bummped into a parked car while trying to park in a tight space at a shpooing mall parking lot .

1) I had my elderly mother with me and she needed the restroom.

2) I needed to park in a larger spot before doing anything else and get her into the bathroom.

3) I had nothing in my car or purse to write with so my intent was to run into the mall to get a pen

4) In the meantime, my mother saw a few things and we were int he mall a while (maybe 45 minutes.)

5) As my cell phone was dead I figured I'd call as soon as I got home.

My response:

Just a whole series of unfortunate coincidences.

You're as guilty as sin.

IAAL

 

[jpritchett81]

My response:

Just a whole series of unfortunate coincidences.

You're as guilty as sin.

IAAL

Wow.....I'm glad I'm not the only one who saw there were way too many excuses

Just out of curiosity....if you didn't have pen and paper and the cell was dead why didn't you just hail down mall security or something. Shoot I backed into a car at a restaurant (I worked at). I had the security(off duty officer) on duty go in give the description of the car to alert the owner and made a report on the spot...I didn't have pen and paper handy as well...... But I'll be damned if I'm getting a hit and run on my record!!!!! Be smarter next time.

 

[bhz1]

That is exactly what the oficer told me.

I didnt becasue of several reasons. One- It did not look like anything more than some dirt on the door. I truly was planning on going back over after getting my mother to the restroom and getting a pen. In the meantime we had to walk past the store we were going to and mom said we should just make our purchase instead of haivng to walk back. A s a person whis task oriented and efficent it made sense. Once I got back to my car i didnt get a chance to follow through as the officer bloced me in. I suppose in retrospect I should have just said that I was heading over there but i got so darn flustered when his first words to me were practically "I am citing you for leaving the scene of an accident" you know I could have you arrested and put into jail". I m a person that in 45 years of life has never been in trouble for anything, not even as a kid. In 29 years of driving I never have had an accident of any kind. I am a "goody two shoes" person. I am shy and sensitive and the harsh words made me freeze. At that point I thought it was too late to just tell the officer "I was going there right now". he already didnt believe me (which furthered my emotional duress and flusteredness). Being socially anxious i cannot deal well with any sort of evaluatory situations and could not speak up more effectively. i know I sounded terrible. I fully intended on being upfront and honest. My timing perhaps was off but it never OCCURRED to me that it was a matter to involve security or police. I am used to being self sufficient and responsible on my own. If all it was was a bit of paint scuffed ont he surfacre that could be wiped off with no visible damage, why even involve anyone? I never got the chance to prove myself.

So my point is I may be guilty of being naieve and exhibiting poor judgement. But if I truly wanted to "get away with it" I wouldnt have been so stupid as to park 2 rows over, i would have left the lot altogether. Had I done that I'm sure i would have been chased down and then it would have been a truth that I left. I never got a chance to drive around to the other car and do what I intended- check it out further and leave my note if necessary. had there been true damage i would have felt more of an immediacy and taken care of it right away. I felt a few minutes did not make a difference given my mother's involvement. If I were alone i would have doe things differently, infact I'm convinced Iit wouldnt have happened at all as I would not have been asked to park in a too tight spot (to be close) and have her make one of her startling verbal sounds she makes occasionaly( she has dropped something on the floor and made a loud exclamation) I looked over at the wrong time. That is not an excuse just an explanation.

Why does the world see things in only black and white. You could call my "offense" poor judgement", "poor timing", but I did not leave. I got stopped before I could go back over.

I suppose the lesson for me in all this is get assertivenss training for my fear of authority figures, work on communication skills and go back to my resolve not to take my mother anywhere as being with her is flustering in and of itself. (she is a very judgemental type like most peole and views my sensitivity and shyness asa malfunction as opposed to a gift) Although in this case she actually realized tha this was kind of her faoult and offered to pay my fine. They should give her the citation as I would never have done it trhis way wiothout her telling me that it wouldnt matter if we just went back. Maybe she should just start wearing depends.

I'm sorry that some of you are also non-believers. It is a sad state when the world has become so jaded that judgement is passed before walking a mile in another's shoes.

To the person who offered me the encouragemetn of 'going for it". Thank you! it is nice to see that there are still some folks that believe in the good in others.

 

[jpritchett81]

I never said I didn't believe you....I just said you made too many excuses.... You really need to look at the situation on the other side. If someone hit your car and waited 1hr to do anything....what would you think?? Me?? I would think taking action against a recent accident was not a priority to the person that hit me....it doesn't matter how big or small you thought the damage was, you at least need to let that person know what happend to their property.

 

[bhz1]

I never said I didn't believe you....I just said you made too many excuses.... You really need to look at the situation on the other side. If someone hit your car and waited 1hr to do anything....what would you think?? Me?? I would think taking action against a recent accident was not a priority to the person that hit me....it doesn't matter how big or small you thought the damage was, you at least need to let that person know what happend to their property.

True, but in this particular case perhaps it was a non-issue as the woman had not even come out to her car by the time I got out. I suppose this is a classic case of not thinking. The person might have come out sooner than I did but it never crossed my mind. Guess I judged by how I usually go in and get out in 5-10 minutes - with my elderly mother it never occurred to me that it would take much longer than that. She refuses a wheel chair so walks very slow. Again not thinking- I should have let her out at the door. Guess still getting used to dealing with old folks as I never had to.

I realize this all is moot if the intention is not equal to the spirit of the law. Ignorance is no excuse of the law they say. It is just so hard for me to even accept I was led to be so DUMB!!!! I pride myself on my intelligence, thoughtfulness and ability to handle all kinds of situations, EXCEPT when emotionally foibled by mom. I never would have done this normally. She somehow makes you feel like an inadequate 10 year old all over again so you do everything she says just to avoid a scene, and it gets to the point you cant even think straight. Ultimately you end up looking like the stupid 10- year old. I guess this is the price I pay for trying to renew a better relationship with my mother after spending the better part of 10 years recovering my self esteem from a dysfunctional childhood. That'll teach me. Cant expect her to change at age 81. My mother totally discombobulates me emotionally. This was the first time I had her down to visit in 2 years. It will be another 2 years (if she is still alive) before i get so dumb again.

As far as being in the other person's shoes, another ability i USUALLY am good at, This HAS happened to me and I wiped off the mark and went about my business. (that is how minor it was) I guess I am just a forgiving person and I do not get mad easily becasue of my ability to understand the motivation and reasoning behind anothers actions. And no, I dont drive junkers- _ my cars are all concours condition, including the one that is 16 years old, so no one is fussier than I am about how they look. I can't tell you how many dings we have gotten through the years that were worse caused by some careless person opening up a car door into mine. We get them pulled out and go on. That dosent make it right but i feel that somehow I am being used as a scapegoat. My fine (if they actually do send me a citation) will probably cost more than the repair to the car. If the police cited everyone who dinged anther car they wouldnt have any time left for the real criminals. I guess I just feel there should be some category other than hit and run for this sort of thing. Heck, even in cases of murder there is a differentiation between outright murder and involuntary manslaughter. As I had no intention of not making good, negligence i may be guilty of, but "hit and run" conjurs up images of scenes like a person (probably DUI) that hits and kills a stranded motorist on the side of the road fixing a flat tire.

I suppose all I can do is go appear if i do get the citation and hope the judge has mercy on me. Not an easy thing for me as I hate having to speak up for myself publically in person. Wish I could do it via e-mail but maybe as the petite and meek mother of 3, who is petrified (and totally mortified) beyond belief over this may help. If not, well only 2 years to get the points off my license. harsh lesson. Only hope it won't affect my insurance. Claiming the accident wont as first incidents are forgiven- never had a claim in 29 years behind the wheel.

Thanks for leting me vent.