Amy dear, here is the problem. You keep using the words “have to.” It’s a matter of semantics. You see, most of us say we “have” to do things that we aren’t really looking forward to doing. Example..I have to go to work today or I have to go down and fill the car up with gas or I have to go have a root canal. Using the words have to, to describe something we are doing or about to do indicates a less than willingness on our part to do it. It’s just something we “have to” do.
It doesn’t make sense for you to say that you pay child support and don’t mind it and then turn around and ask why you “have to” if you aren’t divorced. Your argument that you don’t mind paying the support is being killed by those two little words. Now if you had said, “I gladly pay child support but was wondering why the support was ordered since we are not yet divorced.” Then no one would have attacked you.
I would suspect that you pay the support but resent paying it. You wouldn’t even be on here asking the question you are asking because if you were paying the support because you feel a maternal, moral obligation then it wouldn’t matter what your girlfriend said or what the state laws were. You would be voluntarily paying it. You certainly would not be using the words have to over and over again. The way we communicate can sometimes inadvertently disclose our true feelings about a situation. That is what has happened here. You pay the support but wish like hell you didn’t “have to.”
