Please Help! I want to Adopt my son.

[BrandonsDad]

What is the name of your state? Michigan

My wife, Amy, and I have been together since a year after our first son was born. We are now pregnant with our 3rd child, a girl!

Our first son, Brandon, is not biologically mine. It hurts me to even admit that, but it is fact. He is now turning 6 next month and I want to adopt him, so he is legally mine.

The sperm donor has never supported Brandon (until very recently), and only visited him a few times (mostly by chance encounters in public, and he took the time to play with him a bit) in the first year of his life before I came into Amy's life. Brandon, wouldn't recognize him for anything.

Once I came along, "sperm donor" (I don't think I should say his name...) pretty much just disappeared. It wasn't until Brandon's 5th Birthday, last November, that "sperm donor" reappeared by a phone call. Since then he has called a few times, and sent a few presents, he's asked to come over, but never showed up. He recently started sending child support payments (he works in construction and is paid cash) to the state randomly for the last 3 months, a total of $185.00 for my almost 6 year old son.

I am going to get a lawyer, I already know I will need one, but does anyone see if I will have a problem adopting the son I've been a father (and the only father) to for the most recent 5 years of his life? It's a little obvious now, that the "sperm donor" is interested in at least trying to support Brandon, but can this really make all of the last five years void?

Thanks.

Mark

 

[enjay]

The "sperm donor" has rights, and has been making an effort to see his child. Without his consent, the chances are next to none that you will be able to adopt his child.

 

[BrandonsDad]

But he hasn't made any effort to actually see Brandon. He asked, he's called, he's sent gifts, but he's never come over. He stated maybe 3 times in the last year that sometime he'd like to make plans to come visit, but he never has. He knows where our house is, it's not even that far from him, he's never come over. I don't see the effort here. All I see is sporadic feelings of guilt compelling him to do something to relieve his own guilt. He has not had the slightest impact on Brandon's life. I don't think he will consent, but I don't think he should have to, I don't think his opinion should matter much after 6 years of nothing from him?

Mark

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

Has anyone asked biodad if he is willing to sign over his rights?

 

[BrandonsDad]

No one has asked him, we don't think he would. He's not the brightest guy, but I don't think he'd do that willingly. He thinks he means well, his concept of reality is a little off sometimes though. But in his mind, everything is fine.

Anyways, I wanted to say that I talked to Amy's sister-in-laws' friend who's husband is a Judge in another state. She said that I do have a very good chance of being able to "terminate his rights" even if he isn't willing, depending on the laws here in Michigan. She also said that his efforts, though he may have meant well by them, are often in courts to be considered something called "token efforts" (a legal term, she said) and that the courts can overlook those efforts in regards to his relations ("support and contact") with Brandon. She told me I should read up on the laws here in Michigan on step-parent adoptions and grounds for termination of parental rights. Can anyone help me find these laws on the internet?

I believe I make a great case here, and so does a Judge's wife, so I'm not worried about it anymore. She said the fact that he has allowed me to play the role of the parent of Brandon without interfering physically (by being physically present in his life), that he has already "relinquished" his rights to Brandon to me (in a sense). But anyways, she said that courts are familiar with these types of step-parent adoptions, and that they usually go very smooth, and I have nothing to worry about, I am Brandon's father, and anyone can easily see that.

I am so happy.

So can anyone direct me to Michigan laws on this subject, please?

Thanks!

Mark

 

[stealth2]

I'd talk to a lawyer in MI. The opinion of a judge's wife in some other state isn't the best source of info. A local attorney is a wiser choice.

 

[BrandonsDad]

I am going to talk to a lawyer, right now I need help finding where online I can read Michigan law so that I can check the things "miss thang" (Judge's wife, that's what we call her) said to me against my state laws, I know her state is different, she told me that all stated are different and she's from Kansas and said her state is the most easiest for step-parents to adopt when guys like this are unwilling to go along. So I know already not everything the same may have to do with my situation, but that's what I am eager to fins out, and that is the help I am asking for. Can someone out there help me please before I contact a lawyer not knowing what to say or what rights I may or may not have? I'd like to sound somewhat educated on the case.


Thanks.

Mark

 

[cookie57]

Typed in "termination of parental rights in Michigan" in yahoo and .......here you go.


http://library.adoption.com/Termina...-Parental-Rights-Michigan/article/8563/2.html

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

No one has asked him, we don't think he would. He's not the brightest guy, but I don't think he'd do that willingly. He thinks he means well, his concept of reality is a little off sometimes though. But in his mind, everything is fine.

Anyways, I wanted to say that I talked to Amy's sister-in-laws' friend who's husband is a Judge in another state. She said that I do have a very good chance of being able to "terminate his rights" even if he isn't willing, depending on the laws here in Michigan. She also said that his efforts, though he may have meant well by them, are often in courts to be considered something called "token efforts" (a legal term, she said) and that the courts can overlook those efforts in regards to his relations ("support and contact") with Brandon. She told me I should read up on the laws here in Michigan on step-parent adoptions and grounds for termination of parental rights. Can anyone help me find these laws on the internet?

I believe I make a great case here, and so does a Judge's wife, so I'm not worried about it anymore. She said the fact that he has allowed me to play the role of the parent of Brandon without interfering physically (by being physically present in his life), that he has already "relinquished" his rights to Brandon to me (in a sense). But anyways, she said that courts are familiar with these types of step-parent adoptions, and that they usually go very smooth, and I have nothing to worry about, I am Brandon's father, and anyone can easily see that.

I am so happy.

So can anyone direct me to Michigan laws on this subject, please?

Thanks!

Mark

He has not relinquished his rights. He may be a bad dad, but emotions aside, he is still the bio dad and there are laws to protect that.

I don't know what judge you are communicating with, but they are not giving you the clear answer.

The clear answer is that if he refuses to give up his rights, showing some type of involement ,then it is not going to happen.

You sound like a great person, but this child will forever have a bio dad, that does have rights under the law.

 

[Kansas Courts]

Well he has been given some interesting advice here.

I don't know if it really came from a Judge's wife, unless the Judge's wife doesn't listen to him very well when he talks about his work.

Oddly enough, I do believe whoever he talked to is from KANSAS, ha ha.

I don't know the laws in MI, but I did click on the link that cookie57 provided.

And I did find this:

The child has a guardian, and both of the following have occurred: the parent, having the ability to support or assist in supporting the minor, has failed or neglected, without good cause, to provide regular and substantial support for the minor for a period of two years or more before the filing of the petition or, if a support order has been entered, has failed to substantially comply with the order for a period of two years or more before the filing of the petition; and the parent, having the ability to visit, contact, or communicate with the minor, has regularly and substantially failed or neglected, without good cause, to do so for a period of 2 years or more before the filing of the petition;

Now, he said that the biological father has been providing support for three months, but the way he's paid support sounds like he has

failed or neglected, without good cause, to provide regular and substantial support for the minor for a period of two years

He also says that he hasn't actually, and physically, seen the child in FIVE years, is that right?

If that is true, then I believe he is doing the right thing, and I think he can win an Adoption of the child as well. Remember I don't know the laws in MI, but going by the information suppiled in the above link, if he has not actually come to see the child, then this part of the law also applies:

and the parent, having the ability to visit, contact, or communicate with the minor, has regularly and substantially failed or neglected, without good cause, to do so for a period of 2 years or more before the filing of the petition

 

[BrandonsDad]

I have an attorney now and we are going to file for adoption next week! I will keep everyone posted on how it goes.

Mark