What is the name of your state? VA
my ex & I are currently in the middle of getting visitation with our child specified. I am mom & have physical custody. Our daughter is 8. We haven't signed off on any agreement yet and don't even have a court date, but visitation was officially to start Friday @ 6 pm. My attorney had called me last week and began telling me a list of things my x was asking for. I said yes to some, and no to others. One thing I said no to was, for my x to be able to pick up daughter from school on his weekends and then return her to school on Monday am. I have zero problem with the Monday part. But, I did not agree to him picking her up from school. Reason being, on Fridays, a lot of papers come home and we review them together. Her behavior for the entire week comes home on this day, and all her classwork. Also, I would like to have an hour or 2 with her before she is gone for entire weekend. My attorney agreed, and said I was being reasonable. She asked me when I wanted her to be picked up by x and I said 6pm, if that was okay. We could negotiate earlier if he wanted to. So, my attorney was to get with his attorney, tell him what I had agreed to or not, and go from there. We had already agreed that visitation would officially start on this Friday. On Friday afternoon, I called attorney to tell her that I had not heard from x all week and I wasn't sure if he was going to even show. (he's done that a lot) She suggested that I call him, which I don't normally don't like to do because he won't answer, or return my calls. But I did, and had to leave a voice mail. This was @ 2:50pm. I just asked him to call so we could verify visitation for that evening. So, my daughter should have gotten home from school by 2:40. She still is not home, but my HS student who just came in says that they were let out late because of the heavy downpour. At 3:10, I call the school & ask if a bus is running late. I am told no, everything is on schedule. I am now a little worried. My HS student (17) & I get in the car and drive around the neighborhood, looking for the bus. (school is in our immediate neighborhood.) We travel down all the streets and don't see the bus or any walking children. We drive to the school. No buses left, just a few cars in parking lot. Call school again from cell phone. Speak to same person who tells me she has not heard of any buses having problems but is going to call the bus division and call me back. We continue to drive around looking, heading back to the house. She still isn't home and It's no 3:35. An hour & 10 mins. since school let out. We drive a couple of houses down to ask the mother of a little girl that I know rides this bus home also, if she has any idea where the bus/kids are. I am horrified to see that this child is home. I ask her if she rode the bus, she did. I ask her if my little girl was on the bus, she says NO. At this point, I am frantic and honestly think my kid has been abducted. We drive back to the house, I send my teenager in the house to call the police and I call my x from my cell to tell him that our daughter is missing. MY DAUGHTER ANSWERS HIS CELL PHONE!!! I am relieved, shocked & then furious. I tell her I love her and ask her to put dad on the phone. Dad says, what? I am screaming now, what are you doing with her?? why didn't you tell me?? How could you do this?? My teen hears me yelling, comes out on the house phone with the police, and I tell her to tell them, it's okay, we know where she is now. My x says something like, "my attorney told me I could do this and you signed papers saying so." I said, I haven't signed any papers and I'm calling my attorney now. I call my attorney and am told by paralegal that she's out of town. I tell her what has happened and she tells me to calm down and she gets HIS attorney on the other line. Then it starts, back and forwth, okay, hold on, and so on. I am told that apparently his attorney never got the word that I had NOT agreed to this, and he thought it was a go ahead for pick up at school. She says we will sort it out when attorney gets back in town on Monday. I then realize that when I called my x @ 2:50, he HAD MY CHILD WITH HIM THEN!!...he could tell from the message I left that I was under the impression that he would be picking up our daughter later that evening. Still, he doesn't call me or anything. All this could have been prevented. I have never been that afraid in my life. It never occured to me that my x had picked her up at school. We don't have any communication really because his wife is jealous and honestly doesn't let him talk to me about anything, not even our child. What should I do now?? I feel like my interests are not being represented at all now? I won't be sure until Monday, but what in the world could have happened?? I am hoping that my x and his attorney pulled a fast one, and not that my attorney simply dropped the ball. What should I do? My x and his wife are both court happy and vendictive. They are always trying to get me with something, and make up stories about why he hasn't been active in our daughters life. I would really love to burn him on this. Do you think I can? Is the Judge likely to give him what he wants after this? Will they allow it to stand with him picking up daughter @ school on his weekends? Or is it reasonable for me to ask him to get her a bit later?
my ex & I are currently in the middle of getting visitation with our child specified. I am mom & have physical custody. Our daughter is 8. We haven't signed off on any agreement yet and don't even have a court date, but visitation was officially to start Friday @ 6 pm. My attorney had called me last week and began telling me a list of things my x was asking for. I said yes to some, and no to others. One thing I said no to was, for my x to be able to pick up daughter from school on his weekends and then return her to school on Monday am. I have zero problem with the Monday part. But, I did not agree to him picking her up from school. Reason being, on Fridays, a lot of papers come home and we review them together. Her behavior for the entire week comes home on this day, and all her classwork. Also, I would like to have an hour or 2 with her before she is gone for entire weekend. My attorney agreed, and said I was being reasonable. She asked me when I wanted her to be picked up by x and I said 6pm, if that was okay. We could negotiate earlier if he wanted to. So, my attorney was to get with his attorney, tell him what I had agreed to or not, and go from there. We had already agreed that visitation would officially start on this Friday. On Friday afternoon, I called attorney to tell her that I had not heard from x all week and I wasn't sure if he was going to even show. (he's done that a lot) She suggested that I call him, which I don't normally don't like to do because he won't answer, or return my calls. But I did, and had to leave a voice mail. This was @ 2:50pm. I just asked him to call so we could verify visitation for that evening. So, my daughter should have gotten home from school by 2:40. She still is not home, but my HS student who just came in says that they were let out late because of the heavy downpour. At 3:10, I call the school & ask if a bus is running late. I am told no, everything is on schedule. I am now a little worried. My HS student (17) & I get in the car and drive around the neighborhood, looking for the bus. (school is in our immediate neighborhood.) We travel down all the streets and don't see the bus or any walking children. We drive to the school. No buses left, just a few cars in parking lot. Call school again from cell phone. Speak to same person who tells me she has not heard of any buses having problems but is going to call the bus division and call me back. We continue to drive around looking, heading back to the house. She still isn't home and It's no 3:35. An hour & 10 mins. since school let out. We drive a couple of houses down to ask the mother of a little girl that I know rides this bus home also, if she has any idea where the bus/kids are. I am horrified to see that this child is home. I ask her if she rode the bus, she did. I ask her if my little girl was on the bus, she says NO. At this point, I am frantic and honestly think my kid has been abducted. We drive back to the house, I send my teenager in the house to call the police and I call my x from my cell to tell him that our daughter is missing. MY DAUGHTER ANSWERS HIS CELL PHONE!!! I am relieved, shocked & then furious. I tell her I love her and ask her to put dad on the phone. Dad says, what? I am screaming now, what are you doing with her?? why didn't you tell me?? How could you do this?? My teen hears me yelling, comes out on the house phone with the police, and I tell her to tell them, it's okay, we know where she is now. My x says something like, "my attorney told me I could do this and you signed papers saying so." I said, I haven't signed any papers and I'm calling my attorney now. I call my attorney and am told by paralegal that she's out of town. I tell her what has happened and she tells me to calm down and she gets HIS attorney on the other line. Then it starts, back and forwth, okay, hold on, and so on. I am told that apparently his attorney never got the word that I had NOT agreed to this, and he thought it was a go ahead for pick up at school. She says we will sort it out when attorney gets back in town on Monday. I then realize that when I called my x @ 2:50, he HAD MY CHILD WITH HIM THEN!!...he could tell from the message I left that I was under the impression that he would be picking up our daughter later that evening. Still, he doesn't call me or anything. All this could have been prevented. I have never been that afraid in my life. It never occured to me that my x had picked her up at school. We don't have any communication really because his wife is jealous and honestly doesn't let him talk to me about anything, not even our child. What should I do now?? I feel like my interests are not being represented at all now? I won't be sure until Monday, but what in the world could have happened?? I am hoping that my x and his attorney pulled a fast one, and not that my attorney simply dropped the ball. What should I do? My x and his wife are both court happy and vendictive. They are always trying to get me with something, and make up stories about why he hasn't been active in our daughters life. I would really love to burn him on this. Do you think I can? Is the Judge likely to give him what he wants after this? Will they allow it to stand with him picking up daughter @ school on his weekends? Or is it reasonable for me to ask him to get her a bit later?
