Please Help!

[huntersmommy06]

What is the name of your state? Florida
I have just recently filed for divorce from a verbally abusive and explosive man. We have a 19 month old beautiful baby boy, who has never been an interest to his dad until now to spite me. He refused to help me care for my son in order to"punish me". He called today and claimed he is picking my son up tomorrow and keeping him for the weekend no matter what I say and has threatened to bring the police. There has been no visitation set yet. My son has never been away from me and is breastfed and getting over a horrible stomach bug. What rights to I have?????? He lives 2 hours away and has never cared for his son. How can I keep this from happening????????

 

[rmet4nzkx]

At 19 months, your child should be on something other than breastmilk, so that excuse won't work.
If there are no orders you both have equal rights to the child.
Don't worry if your child vomits all over his dad he will just get long delayed introduction to the joys of parent hood.
Since he is new to all this suggest he start easy, like going out to MacDonalds where they have a play area, make it fun and so your child will look forward to seeing his father, it is the best welfare of the child, not your personal differences.

 

[Britlandco]

I wish I could help. I am not sure what the law provides for in such a situation. If it were still business hours I would of suggested you call a lawyer and get some free initial advice, they will talk to you free on the phone for a few minutes.

And I want to tell you that since there is not a custody agreement, he can just take him...but so can you. Possesion is 9/10ths the law?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

What is the name of your state? Florida
I have just recently filed for divorce from a verbally abusive and explosive man. We have a 19 month old beautiful baby boy, who has never been an interest to his dad until now to spite me. He refused to help me care for my son in order to"punish me". He called today and claimed he is picking my son up tomorrow and keeping him for the weekend no matter what I say and has threatened to bring the police. There has been no visitation set yet. My son has never been away from me and is breastfed and getting over a horrible stomach bug. What rights to I have?????? He lives 2 hours away and has never cared for his son. How can I keep this from happening????????

How can you stop this from happening? You can't. You made that decision when you spread your legs so quit playing the martyr now.

The child has a father. That father has the same rights as you do. Just because you have breasts makes no difference under the law.

So, it's time to grow up little lady.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

And I want to tell you that since there is not a custody agreement, he can just take him...but so can you. Possesion is 9/10ths the law?

And I want to tell you that such ignorant advice cloaked in cuteness is very dangerous and irresponsible on this forum.

It's time you either learned what you're talking about of left before the door hit you in the a$$ on the way out.

 

[Veronica1228]

Possesion is 9/10ths the law?

Oh my! Did you actually say this? We're talking about a baby, not a toaster!

 

[huntersmommy06]

You are quite right, however, when I "spread my legs" my husband was not involved with drugs. I realize that he needs his father, but at this time he is a danger to him. When he cleans up his act and becomes more responsible, I would love for him to have a great relationship with his father. At the present time, though, he is dangerous, and I am just looking to protect my son, not play the "martyr".

 

[SOOStressed Out]

How can you stop this from happening? You can't. You made that decision when you spread your legs so quit playing the martyr now.

The child has a father. That father has the same rights as you do. Just because you have breasts makes no difference under the law.

So, it's time to grow up little lady.

And THIS was a much better response?



To answer the original question:

If there is no court order, you don't have to give him crap. If he wants to file for one..then so be it. Fight it in court and see what a judge says. Until then...you do what makes YOU feel comfortable. The police won't do anything without a court order.

Example:
My ex would not return my son to me. I called cops. Cops did NOTHING without a court order. I was screwwwed until he decided that he couldn't handle him any longer and returned him back to me.

Get your court order going now, and DON'T let him bully you.

 

[AHA]

If he is too unfit to be a father, make sure you have proof of that and show it in court.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Florida
I have just recently filed for divorce from a verbally abusive and explosive man. We have a 19 month old beautiful baby boy, who has never been an interest to his dad until now to spite me. He refused to help me care for my son in order to"punish me". He called today and claimed he is picking my son up tomorrow and keeping him for the weekend no matter what I say and has threatened to bring the police. There has been no visitation set yet. My son has never been away from me and is breastfed and getting over a horrible stomach bug. What rights to I have?????? He lives 2 hours away and has never cared for his son. How can I keep this from happening????????

Despite what other answers you have been given here...you are perfectly free to tell dad to "pound sand". The police won't do anything for him...nor are you breaking any laws.

 

[mom6399]

I am just a parent, but

in the absence of a court order, I would not (did not) relinquish my child. Who says you have to be home? If you are, indeed, leaving an abusive relationship, contact your local Safe Shelter or Women's Center. They will be able to provide you with resources to protect yourself and your child. In spite of abuse, in the, end your husband may (probably) be awarded visitation, but there can be provsions if things are documented. Good luck. And as far as the comment for spreading your legs, that person should be banned from this forum. Sperm does not make a "father". Take care of yourself, take care of your child and do the best you can to see that the child has a "father" in their life, not just a bad male role model. Good luck.

 

[stealth2]

And as far as the comment for spreading your legs, that person should be banned from this forum. Sperm does not make a "father". Take care of yourself, take care of your child and do the best you can to see that the child has a "father" in their life, not just a bad male role model. Good luck.

However, fathering a child within a marriage legally DOES. And Dad has the same rights as Mom does.

 

[Britlandco]

Hmm I was so unaware that BelizeBreeze is a complete jerk until this week.

 

[winn dixie]

Again I am not a lawyer....I have gone through a divorce and custody case in Florida.

My attorney told me until there is an agreement that BOTH parents have equal rights to child.

What I did was meet my ex at McDonalds or something to play with the kids when we were still in deliberation.

I would get legal counsel ASAP....and get an agreement ordered

You may as well come to terms with this now....if the father is not unfit and if he is you MUST have proof...hard, solid proof...not just your word...then he will and should have visitation.

He may file to be the primary parent as well. Are you prepared for that? Can you prove to the courts why you should be the primary parent?

I know this sounds a little mean but it is reality.

And in reality and in the best interest of the child...that child should have a happy healthy relationship with both parents....despite their differences.

And you will have differences...and hopefully you will choose your battles wisely....in the best interest of the kids!!!

 

[VeronicaGia]

And THIS was a much better response?



To answer the original question:

If there is no court order, you don't have to give him crap. If he wants to file for one..then so be it. Fight it in court and see what a judge says. Until then...you do what makes YOU feel comfortable. The police won't do anything without a court order.

Example:
My ex would not return my son to me. I called cops. Cops did NOTHING without a court order. I was screwwwed until he decided that he couldn't handle him any longer and returned him back to me.

Get your court order going now, and DON'T let him bully you.

You don't know what you're talking about. They are MARRIED and therefore have EQUAL RIGHTS to that child until a judge says otherwise. She is not the only parent here and could find herself losing custody to him since she is already refusing to foster the parent child relationship with the other parent, which is what each parent is supposed to do.