Please review pp, input welcome

[rmet4nzkx]

rmet this plan is written for my daughter's best interest, her dad and I have known that we would have to have a more specific plan for quite some time, I have asked him since we have seperated to not allow his mother to be alone with our daughter, and while the timing of this really quite honestly for my benefit as dad will be angry that I am getting married (dashing his weird hopes that we will get back together after his mom kicks the bucket) it doesn't by any means take away from the fact that this is basically a fair document that protects us both as parents in our daughters life.

I will address the language you and others have pointed out. But please don't think that just because the timing is extremely convenient (mostly because we have been getting along so well) that doing the right thing for our daughter isn't my priority, because it is.

I do really appreciate all of the advice I have gotten, some things you just don't see until they're pointed out to you.

While it is in your child's best interest, it is also in yours and that cannot be avoided.

It may also be in your child's best interest to say something less perjoritive, like this. "The parents will agree on access and interaction between child and caregivers including but not limited to grandparents." How old is his mother?

 

[Zephyr]

While it is in your child's best interest, it is also in yours and that cannot be avoided.

It may also be in your child's best interest to say something less perjoritive, like this. "The parents will agree on access and interaction between child and caregivers including but not limited to grandparents." How old is his mother?

oooh I like that! That is the wording I will use. his mom is 66 years old- and let me tell you when she punched me, it felt like a boxer hit me! this is NOT your typical frail little old lady

 

[Whyte Noise]

What about orthodontia?

Read down BTH, it's there. I know, because this is my PP and I put it in there, and that's what those little **'s by the word Dental are for:

**Medical and dental expenses shall NOT include elective or solely cosmetic medical and dental procedures. The cost of elective or solely cosmetic medical or dental expenses shall be the sole responsibility of the parent obtaining or requesting such procedure. Over the counter medications are at the sole cost of the parent purchasing the medication.

If braces are deemed medically necessary then they will be split 50/50. If not, and are merely for cosmetic reasons, then the parent wanting them will be responsible of 100% of the bill. If one of them wants lipo, botox, or breast implants (hey... I've seen it with a 15 YO) then the parent wanting those elective procedures done gets to foot the bill.

 

[bononos]

Just an observation.
This is a custody order, not support.
My state, when making a support includes all this: medical, dental, etc...
Not the custody order.
Will this info. be even added to the custody order or would modification of support and a new order for support be needed?

 

[Zephyr]

Just an observation.
This is a custody order, not support.
My state, when making a support includes all this: medical, dental, etc...
Not the custody order.
Will this info. be even added to the custody order or would modification of support and a new order for support be needed?

This is a custody order, there is no support order, well I don't know if that is entirely acurate, the judge looked at our incomes and how much time we each have her, he didn't believe what my ex was claiming he made, so he figured it as if we made within 1k of each other per year, and ordered no support.

 

[brisgirl825]

Just an observation.
This is a custody order, not support.
My state, when making a support includes all this: medical, dental, etc...
Not the custody order.
Will this info. be even added to the custody order or would modification of support and a new order for support be needed?

As long as everyone is in agreement it will be the order of the court. There is no reason for them to go to court two different times for support and then for custody.

 

[nextwife]

"Quote:
Originally Posted by Zephyr
a.) In the event of death in the immediate family of either the Mother or the Father, additional parenting time shall be allowed so that children may attend the funeral of the deceased.

Maybe you should specify immediate family... Are aunts/uncles/cousins, etc included?"

Ok, I don't know about you, but when I grew up, we kids were absolutely expected to attend any funerals of not only aunts and uncles, but great aunts and uncles, cousins, second cousins and friends of our parents, or parents of our friends. This is how children learn what is socially appropriate. And, depending upon the decedant's religion, the time beyond attending the funeral, to be involved with the decedant's family may be before (if a visitation) or after the funeral (if a Shiva Service will be held). It may not be possible in advance to know the religious practices of all potential family members, and funeral practices vary between religions.

 

[Zephyr]

"Quote:
Originally Posted by Zephyr
a.) In the event of death in the immediate family of either the Mother or the Father, additional parenting time shall be allowed so that children may attend the funeral of the deceased.

Maybe you should specify immediate family... Are aunts/uncles/cousins, etc included?"

Ok, I don't know about you, but when I grew up, we kids were absolutely expected to attend any funerals of not only aunts and uncles, but great aunts and uncles, cousins, second cousins and friends of our parents, or parents of our friend. This is how children learn what is socially appropriate. And, depending upon the decedant's religion, the time beyond attending the funeral, to be involved with the decedant's family may be before (if a visitation) or after the funeral (if a Shiva Service will be held). It may not be possible in advance to know the religious practices of all potential family members, and funeral practices vary between religions.

that is a good point, I can't see a situation where either of us would deny the other time with daughter, or providing extra care so the other can deal with the death without having to worry about her, or not allowing daughter to attend services for anyone in the family, family- all of it, is just too important to both of us. Maybe I will just omit the word immediate