possible prescription abuse- child welfare help

[monnickasmommy]

What is the name of your state? az

I am typing this post under my sisters name I am NOT monnickasmommy.

I am wondering what to do, here is the scoop, I am a step parent to my hubbys daughter whom is 7 years old, the problem is this: We have recently hired an attorney for custody of this child and the CP has heard it from someone that we are doing so. we have a feeling that mother is trying to pull a medical conditon for her not to have a job and to collect her SSDI - which her mother gets for her neck injury that she had to have surgery for.

The mother whom is the CP has alot of mental problems ( this is our opinion) she has recently been complaing of migranes and has a feeling that it is her neck just like her mothers, her mother got hurt at work.
The CP has went to the doctor for her head - the doctor has given her a list of meds, I know a few of these for ex: Naproxen 500mg 2x daily, flexril 10 mg as needed, zomig ,- that is just a few.
she was also given a medication called lexapro. which is an anti-depressant medication.
we are concerned about CP taking these prescriptions while her children are in her care. ( she has 2 our 7 yr old and a 3yr old daughter)

Our daughter has to take her seizure meds or she will have a seizure we would like to have an alert parent that is the priamry caretaker for this child- with all of the CPs meds we feel the child is in harm with this.
our question is would it do us any good for us to have CPS go in and check out the house hold and the meds or would this be a waste of time ? please help!!!!

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

What is the name of your state? az

I am typing this post under my sisters name I am NOT monnickasmommy.

I am wondering what to do, here is the scoop, I am a step parent to my hubbys daughter whom is 7 years old, the problem is this: We have recently hired an attorney for custody of this child and the CP has heard it from someone that we are doing so. we have a feeling that mother is trying to pull a medical conditon for her not to have a job and to collect her SSDI - which her mother gets for her neck injury that she had to have surgery for.

The mother whom is the CP has alot of mental problems ( this is our opinion) she has recently been complaing of migranes and has a feeling that it is her neck just like her mothers, her mother got hurt at work.
The CP has went to the doctor for her head - the doctor has given her a list of meds, I know a few of these for ex: Naproxen 500mg 2x daily, flexril 10 mg as needed, zomig ,- that is just a few.
she was also given a medication called lexapro. which is an anti-depressant medication.
we are concerned about CP taking these prescriptions while her children are in her care. ( she has 2 our 7 yr old and a 3yr old daughter)

Our daughter has to take her seizure meds or she will have a seizure we would like to have an alert parent that is the priamry caretaker for this child- with all of the CPs meds we feel the child is in harm with this.
our question is would it do us any good for us to have CPS go in and check out the house hold and the meds or would this be a waste of time ? please help!!!!

My response:

What evidence do you have that there's any "present danger" to the children? Merely having medications in the house is not an indication that children are in danger.

CPS does not work on "possible", "perhaps", "maybe", "beliefs" or anything else that isn't concrete.

IAAL

 

[stealth2]

And your report is likely to be seen by CPS as exactly what it is - an angle for Dad to use in his custody fight.

 

[monnickasmommy]

reply

the danger is this on the flexril that is some strong stuff even at 10 mg. (I have had the stuff after I had whiplash from the car).

It will knock you flat on your butt with just one pill and she stated that last night that the flexril makes her very woozy and tired.
also her 3 yr old is always getting the chair and climbing up onto the counter to get into the cabnets.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Re: reply

the danger is this on the flexril that is some strong stuff even at 10 mg. (I have had the stuff after I had whiplash from the car).

It will knock you flat on your butt with just one pill and she stated that last night that the flexril makes her very woozy and tired.
also her 3 yr old is always getting the chair and climbing up onto the counter to get into the cabnets.

My response:

Stop coming back here and telling us what YOU "think" or "believe", or "surmise", or "speculate", or anything else without PROOF. You can't go into court and expect the judge to just surmise that the children are in danger. You're going to need to spend thousands of dollars on an expert witness to testify to these matters - - not just your "speculations".

IAAL

 

[monnickasmommy]

this is my last response to this

but just to let you know I am not speculating for your PERFECT information - we do have an attorney and we do have this child in counseling so the TRUTH will be coming out of the wood work any way . I just wanted help in this matter for the welfare of the child-

 

[Exsisto]

monnickasmommy's sister,

From what I get from your post is that your 7 year old is the one on medication. She will probably be on it her entire life, there will be adjustments over the years and she will become more familiar with medications and how to take care of herself as she ages.

I don't know what to tell you about the 3 year old climbing on the cabinets. That's a worry of every parent everywhere.

The most effective way to handle this is to find a resource to teach her how to handle her medications ie: knowing what time she needs to take it and ask for it. And if you haven't already (please God no) tried to gather information about the CP through your daughter, don't.

You HAVE NOT said that there has been a problem with your daughter getting her medication, just that you are worried that she may not at some point in the future.

This will teach your daughter a sense of responsibility that will last her a lifetime. It will be more effective than going after the CP. I have had medications in my house ever since just before my son was born. Epilepsy medications for myself, medication for a pet periodically, antibiotics and such. I have taken Flexeril, both 5mg and 10mg and others when dealing with two knee surgeries. I don't underestimate the power of that Rx.

There are two options: Either start a "smear campaign" on the CP for being on medications or go with what will work best, teach your daughter. You may or may not have an idea how children can adapt survival skills and reasoning in the possible absence or mental absence of a care giver. This is best done on focusing on the child without mention of the other person.

Since you haven't said anything to the effect, I am going to assume that no harm has come to the children at the CP's house. Even if and especially if you get to the point of screaming at the top of the trees about this to the courts you may be seen as hostile and unwilling to work for the best interest of your daughter but to simply bash and slash at the CP. Slashing and bashing will get you close to nowhere and you may be the one seen with a real problem and you may be questioned on what medications you may be on or are in your house. The courts deal with projection between adults in a war over children so much, you put her under a microscope, be prepared to be on the next slide.

Change your focus unless there has been an incident already, meaning your daughter has had a seziure due to her not getting her medication. Not because her dosage may need adjusting because she has grown, gained weight or a simple adjustment needs to be made from one medication to another because one has begun to be ineffective. I know how serious it can be so i'm in no way making light of your worries and fear but please don't let it control your actions.

At least this CP is on anti-depressants. That will most likely be seen as a good thing to the courts as her taking responsibility for herself instead of ignoring there is a problem. I would be more worried if the CP was alert and not taking anti-depressants she is supposed to take per doctor's orders.

Teach your daughter in a relaxed and caring manner, not in the way of since the CP may not do this for you we have to do it or you will have to look out for yourself because this lady can't do it. Forcing your opinions and/or worries on your daughter are a big no-no. The latter will cause anxiety in your daughter and i'm certain this is what you are trying to avoid.

It's just time to change the focus and energy you have in how to handle this situation. Don't go to CPS with how you feel, you have to have proof of incident. You just listed all her problems but listed no ways that your husband has tried to relieve the CP of pressure during what seems to be a bad time for her, self manifested or not. More time with the father to give biomom a rest? Include the 3 year old if that works. Not in a way of "you have problems, let me have the child/ren more because you have problems. Work WITH this CP, not against her, it will help everyone involved.

 

[monnickasmommy]

From what I get from your post is that your 7 year old is the one on medication. She will probably be on it her entire life, there will be adjustments over the years

yes this is correct she does take this 3x a day now because she did not have enough tegretol in her blood .

The most effective way to handle this is to find a resource to teach her how to handle her medications ie: knowing what time she needs to take it and ask for it.

we are working on this I carry her pills in my purse so that she will remember to take them I have her remind me so I can make sure she gets them on time

You HAVE NOT said that there has been a problem with your daughter getting her medication, just that you are worried that she may not at some point in the future.
she would NOT be on any meds if it weren't for her dad taking her to the neurologist for the seizure problem-mom did have a referral for over 1 year prior to this.

This is best done on focusing on the child without mention of the other person.
this we are working on too - child has a BAD habit of coming to DADS house and trashing mom - then turnig around and going to MOMS house and bashing DAD we are working on being neutral between parties.

I am going to assume that no harm has come to the children at the CP's house.
the harm is this when 7 yr old is taking her meds the 3 yr old becomes suddenly sick and CP will give her a TYLENOL chewable so she is not left out .

Slashing and bashing will get you close to nowhere and you may be the one seen with a real problem and you may be questioned on what medications you may be on or are in your house

this has already happened but it was the CP bashing me, the judge just laughed at her . I DO NOT take meds unless I am DYING - my hubby is always telling me to take something for my headaches. I hate to take anything I do not ever go to the doctor for any thing.

I know how serious it can be so i'm in no way making light of your worries and fear but please don't let it control your actions.
trust me this is the least of my worries= i do have 3 other children besides her. my son was born with a hole in his trachea so he can hardly eat any real human food with out supervision.

You just listed all her problems but listed no ways that your husband has tried to relieve the CP of pressure during what seems to be a bad time for her, self manifested or not. More time with the father to give biomom a rest?
we have tried to switch our vistiation time around so mom could have child on the weekends and this went down like a lead balloon- she wont even give him any extra vistation time . this is a HOPLESS battle unles we have the custody of the child.

Include the 3 year old if that works
just letting you know the 3yr old is another mans child not ours all of her children have diffrent fathers this is a total of 5 children only 2 live with her 2 are relinquished and her son is 23 and married w/ children.
thank you for all of your help it is helpful.