post adoption contact

[dixie2010]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Idaho/Washington unsure as to which will have jurisdiction.

I'm not really sure as to the appropriate forum for this so if it's not right can someone please direct me to the correct one.


We currently live in Washington state but we are residents of Idaho. Step-parent adoption took place in Idaho approx. August of 2001. Minor child was 2 1/2 at the time. We recently revealed adoption (I realize some people will find this as wrong or mistake but it's the route we took and it's really a moot point now.) also revealed the existence of half sibling 2 months younger than minor child. There is at this point no interest of minor child to have contact with bio-parent, however there is interest in contact with half-sibling. My question is IF we consent to contact with sibling is there anything we can do to prevent attempted contact of bio-parent? Bio-parent has asked through out the years for pics and contact, claims there is a life insurance policy that minor child is beneficiary which was only told this to guilt into contact, threatened that g-parents will sue for g-parents rights etc. However, there is a reason we did the adoption and will not support any contact with this person until minor is legally an adult. We don't really mind if the relationship between siblings is established we just want to prevent the craziness of bio-parent entering our lives.

Thank You

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Actually, it is the right thing to do to tell a child about an adoption.

How would you propose that the siblings meet without the parent involved?

 

[nextwife]

You'd have no right to bypass a child's parent to contact a minor child!

 

[Proserpina]

You'd have no right to bypass a child's parent to contact a minor child!

...what?

Are you misreading this?

It's the bio parent who might be wanting to contact OP's child - and OP and spouse are the child's LEGAL parents. OP has every right to prevent contact...the bio parent is a legal stranger.

 

[dixie2010]

Bio-parent is divorced from siblings other parent I know that person and could possibly facilitate contact of kids through that person.

 

[nextwife]

Isn't the half sib they plan to contact biodad's child, and they are asking about contacting half sib without biodad knowing?

Isn't that bypassing the half sib's parent to contact the minor child (half sib of OP's child)?

 

[>Charlotte<]

...what?

Are you misreading this?

It's the bio parent who might be wanting to contact OP's child - and OP and spouse are the child's LEGAL parents. OP has every right to prevent contact...the bio parent is a legal stranger.

I *think* (?) nextwife's point was the reverse of that: OP is willing to allow his/her child to contact the half-sibling (the biological parent's other child) as long as there is no contact with the biological parent, but that will be difficult. The bio-parent has absolute control over the half-sib and, therefore, absolute control over the terms upon which they would meet.

ETA: posted before I saw the post about the half-sib's other parent. Yes, a meeting could be set up during the father's visitation without involving the mother. Or mother/father, depending on who's who.

 

[dixie2010]

We don't necessarily want to do it behind the back of the bio-parent we just want to prevent bio-parent from initiating HIS contact while allowing contact of the kids possibly through siblings mother who is divorced from the bio-father. Who have no problem of the mom saying "hey X minor kids are talking through email just to let you know". We just don't want bio-father using it as an excuse to try to initiate contact himself and if there is anything we can legally do or should do to prevent this.

 

[Proserpina]

Isn't the half sib they plan to contact biodad's child, and they are asking about contacting half sib without biodad knowing?

Isn't that bypassing the half sib's parent to contact the minor child (half sib of OP's child)?

I didn't read that as them not wanting biodad to know, as much as them not wanting biodad to interfere/get in contact with biochild.

However...I could be wrong.

 

[st-kitts]

I *think* (?) nextwife's point was the reverse of that: OP is willing to allow his/her child to contact the half-sibling (the biological parent's other child) as long as there is no contact with the biological parent, but that will be difficult. The bio-parent has absolute control over the half-sib and, therefore, absolute control over the terms upon which they would meet.

Based on my reading, the half sibling could be introduced to OP's child by the parent of the half sibling who is not OP's child's biological parent. In that sense, since biological parent is not OP's child parent, and the half sibling's other parent would facilitate the introduction, would that not be the same (legally) as having a play date with any other child?

 

[>Charlotte<]

Based on my reading, the half sibling could be introduced to OP's child by the parent of the half sibling who is not OP's child's biological parent. In that sense, since biological parent is not OP's child parent, and the half sibling's other parent would facilitate the introduction, would that not be the same (legally) as having a play date with any other child?

That's what I'm thinking.

 

[dixie2010]

I didn't read that as them not wanting biodad to know, as much as them not wanting biodad to interfere/get in contact with biochild.

However...I could be wrong.

this is correct and it would be WITH the mother of siblings consent.

 

[>Charlotte<]

I'm confused, so let's recap.

Mother and father had a child.
They divorced.
The mother married Dixie, who adopted the child.
The father married another woman and they had a child--Dixie's child's half-sibling.
Bio-dad and the new wife divorced.
Dixie wants to introduce the half-siblings, but does not want to allow bio-dad any contact, possibly through the half-sibling's mother.

Is that right?

 

[dixie2010]

sorry I was trying to be short to be clear but maybe made it more confusing lol I apologize.

Dixie and John Doe were never married we separated about 3 months into pregnancy.
John Doe marries Jane Doe who has sibling 2 months after I have minor child.
I marry current husband John Doe signs over his rights and step parent adoption takes place.
John and Jane divorce.
Dixie's minor child would like to contact with minor half sibling but neither minor child or parents want contact with John possibly getting contact of kids through Jane.

With the question being is there any suggestions as to what we can do legally, if there is even anything we can do legally, to prevent contact between john and minor child while still allowing contact through siblings.

 

[>Charlotte<]

Generally, divorced parents have autonomy during their respective times with the child--aside from any specifics that might be stipulated in a court order. In that case, the mother of the half-sibling has every right to arrange a meeting between the siblings on her time, without involving the bio-father.

The bio-father could, feasibly, ask for a court order barring any contact between the siblings, but he would have to have a pretty good reason. The fact that he is your child's biological parent would have no bearing. He has no rights to your child.

Furthermore, if the biological father learns that the siblings are in contact and tries to force contact--say, he insists on showing up at the restaurant or park where everyone is meeting--and continues to try to insinuate himself into the relationship, you and your wife could ask for a restraining order. The RO would not affect his ex or the half-sib.