post adoption contact

[Proserpina]

sorry I was trying to be short to be clear but maybe made it more confusing lol I apologize.

Dixie and John Doe were never married we separated about 3 months into pregnancy.
John Doe marries Jane Doe who has sibling 2 months after I have minor child.
I marry current husband John Doe signs over his rights and step parent adoption takes place.
John and Jane divorce.
Dixie's minor child would like to contact with minor half sibling but neither minor child or parents want contact with John possibly getting contact of kids through Jane.

Okay.

The reality is that you have absolute control over who has contact with your child.

Unwanted contact is unwanted contact. If biodad gets in touch with kiddo, you request all contact cease immediately. If he continues, there are legal avenues you can pursue including restraining orders (you don't need to articulate a threat, since we're talking about a minor child).

I don't believe there's anything you can do to prevent the initial contact - you'd have to wait until contact was made.

 

[nextwife]

Okay.

The reality is that you have absolute control over who has contact with your child.

So mom should have absolute control as to HER child, but dad have NO say about his child meeting with OPs child?

 

[dixie2010]

Thank You very much for everyone's help. Hopefully he can be respectful of our wishes and allow the siblings contact without interference, but unfortunately I've learned to hope for the best but expect the worst from his behavior in the past.

 

[Proserpina]

So mom should have absolute control as to HER child, but dad have NO say about his child meeting with OPs child?

Legal Mom and Dad are in agreement - they do NOT want contact from biodad. They have the ABSOLUTE right to dictate that and do NOT have to articulate a reason.

John and Dixie do NOT agree, apparently. Therefore he'd have to give a REASON why Dixie shouldn't allow their child and OP's child contact.

Really, I have no idea why you're so outraged about this.

 

[dixie2010]

So mom should have absolute control as to HER child, but dad have NO say about his child meeting with OPs child?

He can have a say but that is between him and the siblings mother if she chooses to consult him on it. If they decide no then it's no. My husband and I are only trying to control who contacts OUR child. Frankly I don't foresee that happening unless bio-father says no contact unless I can contact to which now that I think about it would be something he would say, but that is between them. If it comes down to that there will be no contact at all and that would be a shame because minor child would really like to establish a relationship with sibling.

ETA: we have no contacted the mother yet but I don't *think* she will have a problem with it as I have heard from her and various friends that sibling knows about minor child and would like to have contact as well. We just were not ready for that up until now.

 

[Proserpina]

He can have a say but that is between him and the siblings mother if she chooses to consult him on it. If they decide no then it's no. My husband and I are only trying to control who contacts OUR child. Frankly I don't foresee that happening unless bio-father says no contact unless I can contact to which now that I think about it would be something he would say, but that is between them. If it comes down to that there will be no contact at all and that would be a shame because minor child would really like to establish a relationship with sibling.

ETA: we have no contacted the mother yet but I don't *think* she will have a problem with it as I have heard from her and various friends that sibling knows about minor child and would like to have contact as well. We just were not ready for that up until now.

The bottom line is that you and Dad have the right to determine who comes into contact with your child.

If John says "no" (for whatever reason) to contact but Dixie says "yes", then John will - generally - need to show the court why the half-siblings shouldn't have contact during Dixie's parenting time. This is because the court trusts Mom to act in her child's best interest, and will generally trust her judgment. If she thinks kiddo should have a playdate with your child, or with Penelope Pitstop down the street, that's her right unless John has a good reason to want to stop that contact.

If they both say "no", it's moot.

 

[CJane]

So mom should have absolute control as to HER child, but dad have NO say about his child meeting with OPs child?

Of course.

The parents of kiddo #2 are divorced. Who Mom allows the child to have contact with on HER time is not Dad's business. He has no right to object or interfere with Mom's parenting choices.

THAT part of it isn't an adoption issue, it's a parenting issue.