Pro Se

[jb8849]

What is the name of your state? Utah

I know that many of you are fighting your family law battles, and I wanted to spare my positive experience. I've been divorced for eight years (and it really doesn't get easier). I decided four years ago that I would file pro se for medical expenses, etc. It took this long to gear up my courage and actually do it.

Now, I'm glad that I did. The judge signed my Order on Order to Show Cause yesterday. It includes a judgment over $2000 plus I objected to the health insurance issue and there may be another $1000. I have spent a lot of time reading on how to do things. When I got confused, I went to the free legal clinic in Salt Lake City. It tooks hours and hours, but now I know how. Next, I'm going to try and proceed with a contempt hearing (My ex still hasn't figured out how to read the divorce decree and do what's in it).

My commissioner and judge has been good to me. I didn't like my commissioner at all - until my last court date. Then, he seemed more human and interested in me as a person. I could see what way he was going to rule before he ruled. I think he gave me respect as a person because my order followed the format like the legal clinic recommended and my exhibits were neat and numbered. It made his job easier.

So, everyone - hang in there! I've learned to manage despite an uncooperative jerk of an ex-husband. Just keep trying. Follow your divorce decree, keep trying to use the legal system, and be brave, if you want to do things pro se.

Good luck!

 

[topsidder]

Nothing is more powerful than knowledge!

Good Job!

 

[Gracie3787]

I'm glad that you won while representing yourself, but you had a head start to begin with- you are a custodial parent and a woman.
Just like you, my husband researched the laws, filed all the proper papers, did everything according to the law, his evidence and exhibits were well prepared, and he even went into court each time with copies of the applicable statutes- however, unlike you, he never won.
Why? Because he is the non custodial parent, and worse, he's a man!
I agree that it takes a lot of courage and hard work to go pro se, but unfortunately, men, especially NCP men need extra help, which is why I always tell everyone to either have a lawyer, or at least hire a court reporter to help ensure that the Judges follow the laws.
Anyone, man or woman, CP or NCP, who either chooses or is forced by lack of money to go pro se deserves to be commended, and assisted as much as possible.

 

[gml659]

Gracie,

I am going to court Pro Se (see Child Support Forum). I am male and NCP. Do you really think the Cards are that stacked against me?

Also reading this thread the initiator stated "MY" Commissioner and it seemed the SAME Commissioner ruled at the hearing. Isn't this a Conflict of Interest?

GML

 

[Gracie3787]

Gracie,

I am going to court Pro Se (see Child Support Forum). I am male and NCP. Do you really think the Cards are that stacked against me?

Also reading this thread the initiator stated "MY" Commissioner and it seemed the SAME Commissioner ruled at the hearing. Isn't this a Conflict of Interest?

GML

From what I have seen, heard and experienced, yes in most cases the cards are stacked against male NCP's, but I also believe that it can be overcome it just takes a lot more work than it should. My suggestions for you:

Learn everything you can about the laws governing the issues you plan to present. I found that going to govengine.com is a good starting point for learning the state. local and federal gov. statutes/rules of procedure.
Make copies of laws that apply to your situation, most important- take the to court with you. (you would think that Judges would know the laws, but my husband's experience has been that either they don't, or they expect you to cite the laws to them)

Have your financial documents, evidence, etc. in order, make it as easy for judge to understand as possible. (judges seem to be preoccupied and in a hurry)

Most important= Hire a court reporter to make a record of every word spoken in court, the cost is pretty small and the protection it gives you is priceless. this will prevent any judge from not allowing you to speak and present evidence. It is also crucial to have a transcript in case of appeal.

Good luck to you, it is hard to win, but not immpossible.
Gracie