Problem With Tardy NCP

[gtzdad]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX

I'm having a serious problem with my ex making it on time for her visitation periods. The court order says that she is supposed to pick up and drop off our child at 6pm the 1st, 3rd, and 5th Friday's and Sunday's of each month. In the last few months, she has only made it once on time to pick her up and all the others she has been late in excess of 30 minutes without a phone call or anything.

When dropping off our child, she has been hasn't been on time in months. She's at least 15minutes, usually more, and she doesn't call and tell me anything. She also has started a habit of not picking her up and not even calling to tell me she's not going to show up.

I have a step son who plays football on Friday's and he is sometimes late to his games because were sitting at home waiting on her to show up, if she even does.

I sent her an email outlining the dates and time to include the amount of time she was late, telling her how it causes issues with us getting to our own engagements on time. That was Sept 7. After she had been late dropping off our child 4 times, and picking her up 3 times.

I explained how much of an inconvenience it was and that I would at least like a phone call if she was going to be late. Since then she has just been a no call/no show, and when she has shown up she was late, like today. I've finally had enough, and I don't have the money to hire an attorney to enforce the order for her violating it on the drop offs, but I do know a little bit about drafting the forms for certain things like the motion for enforcement. I do not know how to go much further than that such as presenting the case and asking questions etc...if I were to try and prosecute it.

I want to write her and tell her that since she continues to be late and not call to let us know she is, that at 6pm if she doesn't arrive I'm leaving to attend my business and she will have to wait til next time. If she calls I will stay, but only for about 15 minutes as that is pushing the limits of my being late to my engagements.

Would I get in trouble for doing that? Is this right? If not, what's a better way of conducting this thing so that I keep my nose clean?

 

[Zephyr]

How old is your child?

I want to write her and tell her that since she continues to be late and not call to let us know she is, that at 6pm if she doesn't arrive I'm leaving to attend my business and she will have to wait til next time. If she calls I will stay, but only for about 15 minutes as that is pushing the limits of my being late to my engagements.

I think that is an entirely fair solution. It may bring her around to being on time. You could also let her know where you will be if you feel comfortable with her coming to the new location to pick up the child. Like at the football game.

Also...is there any reason your wife cannot take her son to his games and you meet them there after you are done handling your child's situation?

 

[gtzdad]

Six years old

 

[Zephyr]

Six years old

My daughter as well- great age!

Honestly, do you think mom is just being inconsiderate? or is there something going on in her life right now? Not that that is an excuse, but we all hit rough patches sometimes.

If you are going to send her the letter with the cut off time, make sure to word it politely, always write and leave messages as if the judge were sitting right beside you.

 

[gtzdad]

My daughter as well- great age!

Honestly, do you think mom is just being inconsiderate? or is there something going on in her life right now? Not that that is an excuse, but we all hit rough patches sometimes.

If you are going to send her the letter with the cut off time, make sure to word it politely, always write and leave messages as if the judge were sitting right beside you.

The things they say and do at this age is funny. My memory only serves me back about this far when I was a kid, and I tell you..its like deja vu!!

I honestly believe that she is being inconsiderate because I used to just bend over backwards for her, and now I've become more rigid as she has been so inconsiderate lately. I tried to excuse it away before, but I truly believe without a doubt, she does it because she doesn't think that I will do anything about it. I guess you could say I trained her that way, and now that I'm married, I've got to consider my family here as well.

I'm one of the coaches on the team, so I have to be there. I could ask my wife to stay, which I've done in the past, but given all the things that teh ex has done to me in the past, she's not overly excited or willing to help her out. It's been somewhat of a my being nice to her = SERIOUS slap in the face later.

I was thinking about the coming to the game, but I'm preparing a case to have teh order enforced. When I did consult with an attorney (couldn't afford her of course), she told me that if I operate outside of the order, it makes it more mdifficult to have enforced, so I should stick to it by all means. I really do want to end all of this foolishness because I love my kid and want her to be with mom as often as possible...but until she can be more considerate, I think my only recourse is trying to enforce the order.

What do you think?

PS - I am going to word it politely because i do anticipate having to present this to a judge should it reach one...hopefully not.

 

[LdiJ]

The things they say and do at this age is funny. My memory only serves me back about this far when I was a kid, and I tell you..its like deja vu!!

I honestly believe that she is being inconsiderate because I used to just bend over backwards for her, and now I've become more rigid as she has been so inconsiderate lately. I tried to excuse it away before, but I truly believe without a doubt, she does it because she doesn't think that I will do anything about it. I guess you could say I trained her that way, and now that I'm married, I've got to consider my family here as well.

I'm one of the coaches on the team, so I have to be there. I could ask my wife to stay, which I've done in the past, but given all the things that teh ex has done to me in the past, she's not overly excited or willing to help her out. It's been somewhat of a my being nice to her = SERIOUS slap in the face later.

I was thinking about the coming to the game, but I'm preparing a case to have teh order enforced. When I did consult with an attorney (couldn't afford her of course), she told me that if I operate outside of the order, it makes it more mdifficult to have enforced, so I should stick to it by all means. I really do want to end all of this foolishness because I love my kid and want her to be with mom as often as possible...but until she can be more considerate, I think my only recourse is trying to enforce the order.

What do you think?

PS - I am going to word it politely because i do anticipate having to present this to a judge should it reach one...hopefully not.

Unless your court orders state that if she doesn't show up within a specific amount of time that she loses her visitation, you can't deny her visitation because she is late.

However, what you CAN do, is that you CAN require her to show up wherever you are to pick up the child, if she is late.

So...you can leave her a message, of one sort or another, that she can pick up the child at XX location, if she doesn't show up in time for you to be wherever you have to be.

 

[gtzdad]

Unless your court orders state that if she doesn't show up within a specific amount of time that she loses her visitation, you can't deny her visitation because she is late.

However, what you CAN do, is that you CAN require her to show up wherever you are to pick up the child, if she is late.

So...you can leave her a message, of one sort or another, that she can pick up the child at XX location, if she doesn't show up in time for you to be wherever you have to be.

After looking over my order, I didn't see anything regarding being late for pick up's. So I guess the only alternative is to to call her and tell her where I am in order for her to pick up our child. Thank you for your help, I really appreciate it.