Protective Order Still in Effect or WTF?

[Skyymiles]

How do you know that she wants the order lifted unless you have been having some sort of contact with her? Why haven't you moved on after 2 years?

you got it... if you read the previous posts, you'll see where i was concerned about some txt messages i was recieving from her. I have since recieved "many" more emphasis on "many" of these. and i've responded to some, ill admit. but this has been ongoing for almost 5 years, it started when we were both very young. id i honestly knew the answer to your question, i porbably would have 'moved' on by now.

 

[tranquility]

Why does it apply to *her*? YOU are the one with the order against YOU by the way you've talked about it. The victim does not have to be ordered not to contact the person the order is against. Not all, or most, are recriprocal.

 

[Skyymiles]

Why does it apply to *her*? YOU are the one with the order against YOU by the way you've talked about it. The victim does not have to be ordered not to contact the person the order is against. Not all, or most, are recriprocal.

I've always been under the impression that an injunction/RO was designed, in my case anyways, to silence both parties involed in order to prevent further violene. If it's not well thats just another debate for another day that'd i'd probably never win anyways. I'm just simply saying in other cases it had been mentioned that if she was to make an attempt to get the order removed, that she would face heavy resistance or just be issued a "no contact" order even if it wasnt wanted. I'm trying to prepare for the flak that will be given by the court if she goes to actually remove it.

The debate of whether it was still in effect or not ended 2 years ago. I 'get' that. Now I'm on to stage two. Recovery, if you will. The question is how hard?

 

[tranquility]

Since you can't give the order and what is prohibited, it is impossible to say what is prohibited without reading the order.

 

[Skyymiles]

I know that, I think... I was just hoping maybe someone could shed some light on this via their own experience with having an RO removed.

 

[futuredust]

Just out of curiosity, how old is the "girl" now and how old was she when this order was requested by her family or was it a psychiatrist who requested it?

You say this has been going on for five years.. I am not sure I understand why you have remained in contact all this time when you were ordered not to be.

It is fairly easy to block instant messages from others on msn, yahoo or aol.

There would seem to be much more to this entire story that has not been mentioned.

 

[Skyymiles]

Just out of curiosity, how old is the "girl" now and how old was she when this order was requested by her family or was it a psychiatrist who requested it?

You say this has been going on for five years.. I am not sure I understand why you have remained in contact all this time when you were ordered not to be.

It is fairly easy to block instant messages from others on msn, yahoo or aol.

There would seem to be much more to this entire story that has not been mentioned.

She is 19 now, I am 22. The order was originally issued immediately after my 18th birthday,( as soon as it would be legally defining me as an adult). We stayed in contact because she will not 'let me go', and I have similar feelings for her. We've both been trying to work thru this high school sweetheart episode, for a lack of better terms, that went terribly wrong... there were several intervals, months, where we'd go without talking bc of a argument over stupid disagreements as to why the original order was issued. But recently we have been working very hard to embrace each other's unique situation as it is related to the RO. Both actively trying to work ourselves out of the hole we put ourselves into. I dont believe it was a one-sided violence, it was verbal abuse from both sides, and only now she has decided it may be the time to 'try again', i guess you'd call it. But aside from the politics of it all I dont think we really ever stopped loving each other. We've always been infatuated from day one. And we're both willing to hopefully start over, if the court is willing to let us. It's been about 5 years, and we've moved all over the country for jobs or school, we've been in other relationships, and we've ended up back where we started and now we're just afraid we cant change the past. But that's the nitty gritty minus some of the specifics, for whoever wanted to kno. lol

 

[futuredust]

She is 19 now, I am 22. The order was originally issued immediately after my 18th birthday,( as soon as it would be legally defining me as an adult). We stayed in contact because she will not 'let me go', and I have similar feelings for her. We've both been trying to work thru this high school sweetheart episode, for a lack of better terms, that went terribly wrong... there were several intervals, months, where we'd go without talking bc of a argument over stupid disagreements as to why the original order was issued. But recently we have been working very hard to embrace each other's unique situation as it is related to the RO. Both actively trying to work ourselves out of the hole we put ourselves into. I dont believe it was a one-sided violence, it was verbal abuse from both sides, and only now she has decided it may be the time to 'try again', i guess you'd call it. But aside from the politics of it all I dont think we really ever stopped loving each other. We've always been infatuated from day one. And we're both willing to hopefully start over, if the court is willing to let us. It's been about 5 years, and we've moved all over the country for jobs or school, we've been in other relationships, and we've ended up back where we started and now we're just afraid we cant change the past. But that's the nitty gritty minus some of the specifics, for whoever wanted to kno. lol

So she was 13/14 when this all started?

Thats not even high school age. So her parents took out a restraining order to keep you away from her? What was the complaint against you in their request. I guess I am a bit curious today.

 

[Skyymiles]

exactly as stated in the first page i think at least, it was filed by her parents on her behalf. from what she has admitted to me this was not the first time she had been involved with counseling for depression, we've both been raised military brats and have spent a great deal of time overseas, which is where she claims the depression stems. personally i believe that's an over generalization of all military adolescents. they(we) feel like an upbringing away from what many of us learn to recognize a 1st world civilization, when living in a place like Turkey off base for 4 years is what you learn to call home. no walmart, or liqid milk as you and i know it here in the US or 'on base'. its a very challenging lifestyle, but also a very rewarding lifestyle you grow an appreciation for as the years pass. I personally have resided for a measurable time in over 30 different countries in a mere 14 years... thats a lot of stress if you've ever had the experience.

ne ways now that ive gotten way off track... back to the root cause.. 'm not sure ill ever know the full story, but i feel as tho they waited right until i turned 18, bc this kinda went back and fourth before, they just couldnt charge or do ne thing legally to me bc i was a minor too. they (meaning her parents) felt as tho I was the cause of new depressions once they moved from the EU back to the US in 2004, and presumably decided to cut us off from contacting each other after i turned 18.

sad i kno.

 

[Gracie3787]

My advice is still the same as 2 years ago, the only change is that both you and the girl should get a consult.

"You will get a better idea of what can be done by getting a consult with an attorney. You can get a 30 minute consult for $25 by calling the Florida Bar Attorney Referall Service at 1-800-342-8011."

 

[Skyymiles]

UPDATE # 3 Looking better everyday...

Ok so I never thought I'd hear the day(for those of you whove been following this thread, which has quite honestly been turned into a 'good story'), after much deliberation and debate on our parts as whether or not to simply, go to court and remove it without her parents knowledge/consent, she decided flat out ask her mom's opinion... Get this, after being scared ****less something was going to definitely go wrong now telling her mother her intentions(being as she was the one who originally got an order of protection on her behalf), she's was supportive of her! ...Get out! right?! however on a romantic level, I am told there are several stipulations, of which I shall become aware of at a later time. But who cares, for now I'm totally content with this bit. This is HUGE! I'll do my best to keep everyone posted on this epic story. lol I'm so stunned right now...

 

[Skyymiles]

Ok advice time here guys n gals. I need any real suggestions as to what a judge will be looking for when she is explaining why she no longer feels the need to have the RO in place? Ovbiously she can't say "...oh well the justice system has done nothing for us considering we've talked for the last four years and now that we still exhibiting romantic feelings for each other, so yea'..."

honesty, and truthfulness are paramount here ovbiously, but it is my understanding that she will need to convince the judge that she is 100% exempt of any feelings of danger derived from my presence; therefore, what would you say/do? there is the possibliity of a hearing, but prior to that she is being given the opportunity to explain her situation without the need unless, i am assuming, she is unsuccessful in writing. what are somethings she can say that would make one believe an order of protection is no longer necesssary to ensure the continuance of her safety around me? thanx again in advance XD

 

[Skyymiles]

another quick question to anybody who might know... How long does a judge 'sit' on a removal request before making a decision? generally speaking, once she returns the paperwork, how long should we expect to wait for his/ her decision? thanx again

 

[Skyymiles]

She Did It, It's done!

Ok well since nobody really knows...lol its done, I hope, paperwork has been filed, should know something in the next two weeks they said... letcha' kno then