Psycho NCP--Need help bad!

[4LilMan]

What is the name of your state? OH
I live in VA with my son. My ex lives in OH, where the courts have jurisdiction. Anyway, my son came to live with me this year. His mom had him on 2 antipsychotic meds and 1 ADHD med. My son is 5. My mom went with my6 ex for my sons very first visit. My ex explained to the Dr. how my son behaved and he handed her a prescription for anti-psychotics without first evaluating my son. Today, 2 yrs later, I have custody and have taken my son to a Dr. to be taken off of these meds and tested properly. I personally think that my sons "behaviors" were learned by his bipolar mother and a lack of proper discipline. His current Dr seems to agree. However he is very hyper, I still don't know about the adhd but he is definitely not psychotic. We are making progress with him without the meds. My ex called a few weeks ago saying that she was going to medicate him anyway when he came there for his visits. We got very angry and wrote her telling her that's not what's best for him, etc. but in a different tone. She asked for the Dr's #s, I gave them to her after informing the Dr. & school that she would be calling. Well this weekend a family member of mine talked with her & she still has the intention of medicating him! What do I do?! Can I get a court order preventing her from medicating him? How do I go about it? What do I need? It's completely rediculous that I have to worry about my son going to visit his own mom, she needs the meds. She does nothing for my son, sent nothing but 5 outfits for him to come live here. No remnders of his home or family & no pictures. This is a control thing with her. She wants a say so in his life, but doesn't want to take on any responsibilities at all for him. Can someone please give me some advice? Thank you.

 

[nextwife]

I have a five year old. Her ADD manifested with behaviors that appeared bi-polar. Her first psychiatrist incorrectly diagnosed her as bi-polar. THe second opinion, and successful use of Adderall (an ADD med) proved that second doctor's diagnosis correct. Please reconsider denying your child ADD meds, unless a good children's psychiatrist has seen your child, and also evaluated behaviors reported within the school setting, where more behavior challenges exist.

I am doubtful that bi-polar behavioprs are "learned". Impulsivity, aggression and other ADD affects can bring on certain behaviors. My child's ability to function and learn are greatly impacted by having her correct med dosages, so please be cautious. Anti-psychotic meds should not be arbitrarily stopped and started, I believe they should be decreased out of the system. You may wish to research that, but don't just STOP the meds, I believe they need to be decreased out of the system.

Good luck

 

[4LilMan]

My child is not bipolar. There is something here that you don't understand. His mom is very sick. She is a manipulator as well. He very well may be ADHD, we are getting a 2nd opinion. His mom never had him, my family did. She would pawn him off on everyone. One month she only had him for 11 days. She gave him sleeping pills, she was on two different tranquilizers, she's in & out of the mental hospital, etc. If your child lived with someone who flipped out all of the time, locked him in his room for hours when she DID have him, lied, etc. you would see what I mean by learned behavior. He isn't psychotic. He lied, had no manners, talked back, threw tantrums, etc. Now with the right reinforcement he is making progress and turning around and you want to tell me that these things can't be learned? Children mimic everything that they see, monkey see monkey do. So I'm sorry but I don't agree with you. I have him under the supervision of a Dr. who does play therapy with him & handles psychological testing. She specializes in chidren his age. I want to know how I can keep her from medicating my son & putting him back on an emotional ups & downs, withdrawals, etc. Someone please give me some advice on this. I am not the one starting and stopping this. She wants to put him on the meds for 6 wks when she has him because she can't handle him or reality at that, and then when he comes home he will have no meds. She's got his old meds at home because she didn't even send them with him in the first place. Thank you.

 

[valk]

I am not a lawyer nor a doctor, but i do have to give you credit for your involvement. I don't even have hyper kids but i have seen first hand what abuse does to a kid and it can seem that he is hyper, there is alot going on in a little mind that they can't possibly understand.
Not knowing your wifes history but he may very well have some traits of her's in his genes. I think you are smart having him properly diagnosed.
Have you checked in to any natural remedies?
Love, understanding and kindness can work wonders!
I wish i could give you an answer you are looking for but the reality i think is that when she has him she can pretty much do what she wants.
Could you try getting supervised visitations on the grounds of her mental condition?
You have a tough one there, i wish you the best of luck!

 

[lobbier]

If the mother gives this child medicine while the child is there, and goes home and quits these types of medicines cold turkey, it can do great harm to the child, the child will need to be "weened" away again.

Doesn't the mother know how dangerous this is? Regardless what oppinions everyone has, the child is under a new doctor now, and his diagnosis has been made... to take the child off of medication. So, the mother must not administer any mind/mood altering drugs to this child.

I'd contact a lawyer, I don't know what else to say.

I know of a mother who put her child on every medication that was available due to her child with these types of symptoms, after many years, and many...many tests, they found the child was allergic to many types of foods which caused this type of behavior. I've also read that alot of doctors are finding this out as well. maybe you may want to consider having your child tested for this....just an option.

good luck!

 

[valk]

Try going to a public child abuse case worker and explain the situation, tell them that you fear for his life because of past history and her mental state. Maybe they can help you. I think they may have the power through the state to get done what would take you a long drawn out process.
If not i am sure they can tell you your rights and where to go and what you need to get something done about this.
If nothing else having a case worker show up at her door checking out the situation and the threat of taking her child away may wake her up.
They also can handle supervised visitations until you feel he is safe again.
Explain the abuse of locking him in his room and giving him sleeping pills and all, they specialize in these dealings.

 

[4LilMan]

We have tried to explain the harm that it can do. But she doesn't seem to care, she just wants to show us that she's in "control". I go to his Dr. tonight with him. I'm calling the courts today as well, maybe they can tell me what I can do.

 

[marc_a_g]

My first cousin spent the first 13 years of his life on medication for all sorts of behaviorial problems. My aunt, his mother, had him on medication and would "tell" him how to behave in front of the doctor so she could draw disability for him. She manipulated the system just to get some money in her pocket. So I know first hand that it is possible for some parents to do this to a child. It came out later what she had done but she never got in trouble for it.

Sometimes it is hard for grownups to deal with children. Their energy, persistence and activeness, to some is an indication that "something" is wrong. It is normal for a child to want to run and play and do things...that is part of begin a child....you live, you learn and you grow. Now...when your child cannot be still for nothing in the world...not even to watch cartoons, or he cannot concentrate on a project that is before him, that would be an indication that there is indeed something wrong, especially if his actions coincide with anger and tension. But in this day and age society wants to "fix" everything...everybody is mentally unstable or chemically imbalanced...doctors are too quick to look for a miracle cure that they prescribe medications ina heartbeat.

I would suggest that you get a strong diagnosis from a reputable psychiatrist in your area. As the father you are entitiled to the records from the other doctor, request those as well. If your doctor finds that the boy is fit and nothing is wrong, you can take your ex to court for child abuse. If the boy is fine, what she is doing is overmedicating him and it is likened to the manchausen syndrome that soem mothers have. She could be doing this to sedate him so that he does not "get on her nerves".

Get everything in order......if your son is really in need of those medications, the NCP is not doing anything wrong.

 

[4LilMan]

Thank you!!!! Someone finally understands what I am saying. She can't handle him. He's had no attention from her. His hyperactivity stems from anger & anxiety. They don't know how to express themselves so it just comes out in that way. We saw the Dr tonight. She said that she doesn't feel that he needs meds. She has communicated with his preschool and the teachers see a huge improvement. So we'll see what I can do. We're talking about hiring a lawyer.

 

[tammy8]

It is my understanding that bipolar can NOT be digonosed until at least the teen yrs except in extreme cases. As someone else said, please call an attorney, the mental health dept, whoever will listen!!!!!

I am a child of the generation of take a pill and it will be okay. I know my children's generation is even worst than it was "back then". I also understand the need for SOME meds but not just the casual prescribing that I see going on so much. Please take care that your little one doesn't become a zombie or even worst....a true drug addict!

Again not saying anything is wrong if drugs are prescribed correctly, just the causal prescribing!

 

[4LilMan]

My sons Dr. is calling her today or tomorrow to "defuse the bomb" so to speak. If she still insists that he needs to be on meds & still says that she will be giving them to him then I am calling his old Dr. to let him know that she may come to him for meds during the summer and we are going to try to get a court order. I'm contacting my old attorney this week. Hopefully I can prove this, hopefully she says something to my Dr. so that we have a witness. Then we can actually do something. AS far as I'm concerned she's a danger to my kid.

 

[VeronicaGia]

Armed with doctors letters, you may wish to ask the court if they will order her not to put the child on meds. Otherwise, you will be forced to ask for supervised vistation between the child and mother, to ensure that the mother does no harm to the child by putting the child on meds that the child neither needs, and will cause the child great harm when not weened properly.

I hope you have an attorney as you will need one, be sure to talk to several and make absolutely sure he/she completely understands your situation.