stealth2
Under the Radar Member
Your dude is a sap.
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Question about ex parte hearing and parenting plan
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Your dude is a sap.
justalayman
Senior Member
OP's question in another thread. Figured I would just bring it over here where it belongs.
could mom serve dad with something? Sure. Only she, her lawyer, and the court know until dad is served though.
An ex parte RO MUST be heard in court where the recipient is allowed their right to speak to the issue. An ex parte order is only issued due to urgent issues and is not intended to stand any longer than what it takes to get all the parties into a hearing.
Maybe mom is serving dad with an RO as well. Since dad has no custody or visitation order, maybe mom is asking dad cease all contact with mom and child until the court can rule on a parenting plan. It would appear dad has attempted to usurp mom's authority and as such, an RO might not be so far out of place.
Can anyone give me a ballpark figure on how much it will cost us if we can't get this settled by or at the hearing and it goes to trial next year? We gave the lawyer $3500 to do this and my husband says he's got maybe another $500 in him. We obviously aren't going to get very far on that!
Proserpina
Senior Member
Nobody can really gauge that.
Just know that some folks on here have spent in excess of $60k and several years fighting a contested matter.
justalayman
Senior Member
Maybe Ohiogal can give something reasonably accurate but realistically, it can vary far and wide. A lot depends on how much fighting is involved. The more fighting, the longer it takes and the more the lawyer will earn.
The best person to ask would be your lawyer. They are the only part that can guestimate what kind of time whatever specific issues you are dealing with might take in your situation.
and then, even that is most likely going to be a WAG*
WAG- wild ass guess
The best person to ask would be your lawyer. They are the only part that can guestimate what kind of time whatever specific issues you are dealing with might take in your situation.
and then, even that is most likely going to be a WAG*
WAG- wild ass guess
Ohiogal
Queen Bee
Pretty much a contested custody battle can cost anywhere upwards of $5000... I have spent 50 hours on a case as a GAL -- the parents are responsible for my fees. Those fees are in addition to ATTORNEY fees that are being paid for parental representation. Now add in psych evals ($3k each if not more), drug tests, counseling, parenting classes, and whatever else parents can think to throw at one another and it can easily get to $25 or 50k. Depends on how combative and horrible the parents want to be.
My husband said to me again to day that if the mother does not accept his counter proposal that he is going to call for an emergency ex parte hearing and write up a declaration stating that he believes she is making this a rush move with daughter and that daughter is being coerced to make this move with her. How daughter stated a month ago that she wanted to live with us and then changed her mind after going back to her mother's because she guilted her into it. He also is going to include why he believes Mother can move but daughter should stay here until a court appointed counselor can talk with her about her real wishes. They are planning on moving 2000 miles away in 4 days! We will not hear anything until Monday as to whether or not she agreed to it (most likely not) and then he won't be able to write up his declaration until Monday night unless he does it this weekend, which isn't looking likely. He then wouldn't be able to go into court with it until Tuesday. Are you telling me that a judge would really stop daughter from leaving a day before she's supposed to because of what husband does? Her stuff would all be packed up and school starts for her out there in 2 weeks. Would it not be MORE detrimental to take her away from mother and screw up her schooling and make her stay here until she can talk to a counselor?? Honestly, would they really put her with my husband who has seen her on about 6 different occasions in the past 1 1/2 years? Is it possible that they would award temporary custody to him or something?
Because all he seems to be able to see is "how badly can I screw my ex". I think he truly believes that he has the upperhand in all of this. He has all these emails from the mother saying that daughter doesn't want to come over or daughter hates him and how she isn't willing to make a parenting plan outside of getting attorney's involved. He also swears up and down that them moving is a retaliatory action against daughter saying she wants to live with us and that all this getting a job out of state took place within a 3 week period and he wants to get the places and the dates of where she sent her resume to see if it was within that time frame and if she even looked in state. He also swears up and down that daughter doesn't really want to move with mother but is being guilted into it. How she told us all these things she hated about living with her mother and stepfather when she was here. Now she is sending nasty texts to him saying how she will never forgive him if he screws up her social life and will never come visit after she turns 18 and how she loves her stepfather now! Of course he believes this is all her mother coaching her on what to say. Really?
He said if she doesn't accept his new proposal that he's not going any lower. I know she won't accept the summer visitation. If this goes to a hearing, will the judge look at both the plans and then pick one or pick something of his own? Then if neither agree to it it could then go to trial? What an unbelievable waste of money!
stealth2
Under the Radar Member
What makes you think he's going to listen to anything you tell hi you learned? I would make it plain to him that he needs a lawyer and a therapist (perhaps not in that order), and then step WAY back.
He does have a lawyer but I really don't know if she's just doing anything he wants or is actually advising him as to what is best. Every time I try to ask him about the case I barely get the sentence out and he snaps at me saying "I DON'T know the answer to that yet. I'm waiting to see if such and such happens and then I'll ask her". Apparently he can piss and moan about the situation nonstop but when I ask him a worthy question like "How much money is left in the retainer" or "what happens when the money runs out" he just gets angry.
And YES I agree 110% that he needs a therapist to talk to ASAP for both our sakes. He has threatened several times to go talk to one but never makes an appt. God knows I'm not about to bring that up with him if he can't even answer any other simple questions for me.
stealth2
Under the Radar Member
He's making it pretty clear that he wants you to butt out. He will not appreciate your information or input.
Well he sure has no problem complaining to me about the situation and giving me the brunt of his bad moods over it!
Just Blue
Senior Member
Same question - why isn't dad here asking questions?
I'm not trying to be smart at all - perhaps you need Al-Anon or something like that, to learn how we can't control people places and things. I have a couple friends who it has saved them from all the fraught of a custody battle.
Dad is not listening. If he were, he would get he has no legal rights at this time. He does not have the right to request child stay, he does not have the right to presume why mom is moving...it doesn't matter because with no legal rights she owes him zero.
And maybe he would write up an exparte over the weekend? Why the maybe? Is this a flippin emergency or not?
If it is, let him deal with it. He can request the courts grant him physical and legal parenting rights - he could do that the past 15 years. And perhaps he can try to get mom prevented, temporarily from moving.
But to give the daughter ideas she could move was crappy parenting...he needs to let that one go and even make amends to her. And I see red flags all over - this is affecting your relationship with the husband, best to not engage and take care of yourself.
I'm not trying to be smart at all - perhaps you need Al-Anon or something like that, to learn how we can't control people places and things. I have a couple friends who it has saved them from all the fraught of a custody battle.
Dad is not listening. If he were, he would get he has no legal rights at this time. He does not have the right to request child stay, he does not have the right to presume why mom is moving...it doesn't matter because with no legal rights she owes him zero.
And maybe he would write up an exparte over the weekend? Why the maybe? Is this a flippin emergency or not?
If it is, let him deal with it. He can request the courts grant him physical and legal parenting rights - he could do that the past 15 years. And perhaps he can try to get mom prevented, temporarily from moving.
But to give the daughter ideas she could move was crappy parenting...he needs to let that one go and even make amends to her. And I see red flags all over - this is affecting your relationship with the husband, best to not engage and take care of yourself.
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