The "maybe" on writing up the ex parte because that's him. He doesn't get around to doing things until he absolutely has to. He had no problem sitting and playing his video game all weekend, but if necessary he will come home tonight and write it up in a rush. And yes I see that as "how important really is this whole deal anyways if he's going to sit and play games all weekend rather than taking time to write up a declaration"? And if I ask him why he did that instead of focus on the declaration I'm sure I'd get "I am so drained by this process I just needed to chill out and not have to think about anything".
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Question about ex parte hearing and parenting plan
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The "maybe" on writing up the ex parte because that's him. He doesn't get around to doing things until he absolutely has to. He had no problem sitting and playing his video game all weekend, but if necessary he will come home tonight and write it up in a rush. And yes I see that as "how important really is this whole deal anyways if he's going to sit and play games all weekend rather than taking time to write up a declaration"? And if I ask him why he did that instead of focus on the declaration I'm sure I'd get "I am so drained by this process I just needed to chill out and not have to think about anything".
All the more reason to IMO, get support for yourself, honestly. Not legal advice, I've just been there done that with so many friends. This is putting a horrible strain on your marriage, all you can do is take care of you. Husband is obviously depressed. I get depressed too in these situations, get overwhelmed. He's either willing to do the footwork, or mope about it...his choice. Time to get out and do some nice things for yourself.
Husband just got an email from his attorney saying that she has not heard anything from his ex's attorney and left him a message. Well it's noon on Monday and we haven't heard anything from her attorney since sending him the revised parenting plan on Thursday afternoon. Ex and daughter are supposedly leaving for MN on Wednesday for good and, assuming that they do not agree with the plan (which I'm sure they won't), will need to file an ex parte motion to be able to move. We were told by ex's attorney that he would give husband's attorney 48 hours notice of that. Even if ex did agree to the plan we should have heard something by now shouldn't we? They are leaving in 48 hours or less. She can't just up and leave if she's got the restraining order against her not to take SD from the state can she?
Okay I get it, I'm nobody in this! I'm not trying to change anything, but does that mean I can't try to understand what is going on?? DH barely hears from his attorney and when he does he does it at work so I don't know what is going on. He will complain to me about the whole situation and stomp around the house but he apparently doesn't want to field any of my questions about anything. I'm just a lowly stepmother, but this DOES affect me as I would be sharing a house with the daughter if she happens to end up here for whatever reason.
I'm just curious to know what is going on. The Ex's attorney never got back to my husband's attorney yesterday and if they are truly leaving tomorrow she would need to get an ex parte order allowing her to leave with SD due to the restraining order she currently has NOT to leave. We were told by her attorney that there would be 48 hours notice. Obviously not the case if they are leaving tomorrow. If she just slips out of town without any notice she could be arrested couldn't she?
TheGeekess
Keeper of the Kraken
It's a civil matter. The police don't like to get involved in civil matters.
Sooooo...nothing would happen??
TinkerBelleLuvr
Senior Member
Since your husband is represented, we cannot second guess what he is doing about it. As stated, this is civil; the police won't intervene.
stealth2
Under the Radar Member
I understand all that. BUT... If your husband isn't interested in keeping you informed - WE have no way of doing so. All we have are your impressions of the situation, but not what is (or is not) really going on. Anything we tell you could be 100% wrong.
If she actually moves, Dad could file for contempt and ask that his child be returned to his state.
The best advice I can offer you is that the two of you seek some sort of counseling as a couple. If he refuses, then you should consider it for yourself, as I do not see relationship lasting.
Coerced?
The child might have an opinion in the matter, but seriously? Kids don't get votes.
Of course the 15 year old wants to live at Dad's house, since real life--the day to day, picking up laundry, helping with the dishes and mopping or vacuuming---is sooo trying. I'm sure the two weeks or however long she was at your house seemed like a vacation.
How long would it be before she wanted to go back to Mom's because you and Dad expected her to be a contributing member of the household????
Would you let her?
Her wishes??? I'm sure her wishes include living with taylor lautner and never having to do housework and homework ever again.....
Sigh
Mapper,
Something to consider, dad has attorney. Presumably an atty that was paid a retainer. Dad has already indicated that he may be tapped out financially for this process..... The atty could be avoiding unnecessary contact as to keep legal fees lower, so that a large atty fee isn't racked up that dad can't/won't pay.
It can be hard for an atty to withdraw and leave a litigant in a pro-per/pro-se position once a case is started especially if the other party is represented. (or this has been my experience)
That being said, the atty probably sees this case as an uphill battle that would require extensive involvement on his part to make any type of changes. Since dad has indicated that he has no ability to pay much further the atty may be pulling back a bit.
IF dad is really having troubles reaching the atty to get his questions answered I would suggest an alternate form of communication for DAD and HIS atty. Possibly email? then dad could read/reply on his time and atty could read/reply on his/her time.
I don't know, I'm not going to sit here and armchair your relationship. BUT having a teenage daughter who likes to play both parties from time to time I would be inclined to agree that teenagers will be teenagers... The grass always seems greener to them. I would imagine that if a 15yr old took up permanent residence in your home it would be less fun then she imagines it will be.
Something to consider, dad has attorney. Presumably an atty that was paid a retainer. Dad has already indicated that he may be tapped out financially for this process..... The atty could be avoiding unnecessary contact as to keep legal fees lower, so that a large atty fee isn't racked up that dad can't/won't pay.
It can be hard for an atty to withdraw and leave a litigant in a pro-per/pro-se position once a case is started especially if the other party is represented. (or this has been my experience)
That being said, the atty probably sees this case as an uphill battle that would require extensive involvement on his part to make any type of changes. Since dad has indicated that he has no ability to pay much further the atty may be pulling back a bit.
IF dad is really having troubles reaching the atty to get his questions answered I would suggest an alternate form of communication for DAD and HIS atty. Possibly email? then dad could read/reply on his time and atty could read/reply on his/her time.
I don't know, I'm not going to sit here and armchair your relationship. BUT having a teenage daughter who likes to play both parties from time to time I would be inclined to agree that teenagers will be teenagers... The grass always seems greener to them. I would imagine that if a 15yr old took up permanent residence in your home it would be less fun then she imagines it will be.
Zigner
Senior Member, Non-Attorney
The attorney is going to read/reply on DAD'S dime
The time spent dealing with emails is definitely billable.The attorney is going to read/reply on DAD'S dime
OH ABSOLUTELY, sorry if this was unclear. I meant to imply that the atty could do it when it is convenient for him, and dad can do it when it is a convenient for him. THUS ending the perceived issue in dad getting calls from atty while at work and not really available to speak. Yes it is billable time.
You're right it is Mom's atty that wasn't replying however I just heard from my husband and his attorney did just hear from her attorney. This whole thing is just almost laughable now. The ex told her attorney that now they are no longer moving to MN. They are looking to move now to Portland, OR which is only 3 1/2 hours away! Okay so today was her last day of work and they were moving tomorrow and now all of a sudden that isn't happening?! She will probably state that it was my husband's fault for bringing about this case that they can no longer move that far because they have no money.
I mean how is this going to look to a judge? She makes a big deal of moving out there and then all of a sudden it's "Oh no we aren't moving" the day before it's supposed to happen? Will this have any effect on an outcome?
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