Question about executor of fathers will.

[Art_diesel]

My father takes care of his own affairs. Yours has done the same.

Thats cool. how old is your dad? how old are you?

 

[Art_diesel]

Why do you make that assumption?

If you are concerned, you do what Latigo recommended in (I believe)the first response. You request that the estate administration be supervised and that the executor be required to post a bond. That will probably increase the expense and length of probate, but...

This is based solely on observation... Probably 99.99% of estate administrators take their fiduciary duties seriously and are completely above board. They may make some mistakes but the intent is generally not malicious. Yes, there is that 0.01% who become convinced that the position makes them "emperor of all they survey" and gives them the right to do whatever they feel like doing - settling the "family business" as Michael Corleone puts it. And maybe the niece is one of them.

But, it you are getting freaked out by reading on the internet about "Executors Gone Wild", just remember... You are not going to find stories about the other 99.99%. They aren't news.

I make that assumption because Ive been around the nieces family before. She has two daughters. One is 18 and the other is 16. I just dont feel any sincerity from any of them. Like ive stated before Im probably wrong about them. I have a right to be genuinely concerned. I mean my dad has only known these people 4 years.
Im going to do what Latigo said and your right about the other 99.9% of the other good stories about executors.

 

[Art_diesel]

How is the niece related to you? What are your sister's feelings about this? What is the relationship between your mother and your father? Your mother still seems to be in the picture with your father.

Be careful with all of this. You could alienate your father at a very sensitive time of his life.

Yeah Im trying to tread very carefully. I told him yesterday how unhappy i was about it and he said that his niece and her family are the only ones up there who are helping him. He doesnt plan on changing the will. Right now Im just planning for the worst. Ill be the first to say if im wrong I owe this woman a huge apology. I told her if everything works out the way its suppose to Im going to pay her for her time but she said she wasnt doing it for the money. But im still going to pay her.
My mom and dad are divorced but there still friends. Shes pretty upset about the situation. My mom did her will a few years ago and left everything to me and my sister. No outside executor. We feel thats the way it should be.
My sister doesnt really care as long as the wills honored. To be honest I probably wont mention it again to my dad and just let the chips fall where they may.

 

[Art_diesel]

Dad should make his accounts POD (pay on death) with you and sister as beneficiaries (if that is what he wants). That way the money will go directly to you and sister when he passes. It would not be part of the will. Are there any debts involved? Any real estate? What other assets? Does he have you and sister as beneficiaries on all of these accounts?

my dad has some credit cards. He still owes on the mortgage. The will just states we're to split everything 50-50. Im worried that he wont have enough money in his account to cover all his expenses. He has a law suit that he just signed for. Its a mesothelioma lawsuit. One lawyer I talked to said he could get a million or more from it. But my dad told me if something happens to him it goes directly to my sister and I. The niece doesnt have any part of that. So thats one bright spot. With that money Ill be able to pay my dads debts if he doesnt leave enough behind.

 

[anteater]

I told her if everything works out the way its suppose to Im going to pay her for her time but she said she wasnt doing it for the money. But im still going to pay her.

I'm not certain what time you are referring to here. But, by statute:

15-3-719. COMPENSATION OF PERSONAL REPRESENTATIVE. A personal representative is entitled to reasonable compensation for his services. If a will provides for compensation of the personal representative and there is no contract with the decedent regarding compensation, he may renounce the provision before qualifying and be entitled to reasonable compensation. A personal representative may also renounce his right to all or any part of the compensation. A written renunciation of fee may be filed with the court.

 

[ecmst12]

Your dad wanted to remain in his own home where he has lived for many years and retain his independance rather than being forced to move many miles away to be dependant on his son. This is a VERY normal desire for elderly people. No one wants to leave their home and move back in with their kids or to an assisted living or nursing facility. The tasks your neice has been doing have allowed him to stay where he wants to be and to die as he lived, as an independent man in his own home. You don't seem to appreciate the HUGE gift this is to him. You wanted him to give up all his things and move away from his place to be taken care of...but I don't see that YOU were willing to drop your whole life and move to where he is to take care of him. I think you need to be thanking your cousin for doing what you could not and helping your dad to live out his last days in the manner of his own choosing.

 

[Art_diesel]

I'm not certain what time you are referring to here. But, by statute:

The will states specifically that the representative will make no money from my dads estate.

 

[anteater]

The will states specifically that the representative will make no money from my dads estate.

OK. But note the part of the statute about the PR being able to "renounce" such a will provision.

 

[Art_diesel]

Your dad wanted to remain in his own home where he has lived for many years and retain his independance rather than being forced to move many miles away to be dependant on his son. This is a VERY normal desire for elderly people. No one wants to leave their home and move back in with their kids or to an assisted living or nursing facility. The tasks your neice has been doing have allowed him to stay where he wants to be and to die as he lived, as an independent man in his own home. You don't seem to appreciate the HUGE gift this is to him. You wanted him to give up all his things and move away from his place to be taken care of...but I don't see that YOU were willing to drop your whole life and move to where he is to take care of him. I think you need to be thanking your cousin for doing what you could not and helping your dad to live out his last days in the manner of his own choosing.

you have some good points. My dad from what it seems wants to live and die up there. I get mixed feelings from him when he at times mentions moving in with us or moving in with my mom and sister. Just the other day he mentioned moving in with my mom who has made a living taking care of elderly people and my sister is a nurse. My mom is 17 years younger than my dad by the way. She still gets around pretty well. I went to see my dad at the begining of April and he told me he didnt know how much longer he could live alone. Hes pretty worried about his current situation and he told me that hes confused about a lot of things. Its hard for me because when we talk in person he says one thing and when im gone he says another. Even the niece tells my dad that its his home and he shouldnt have to leave. Well thats easy to say when you have all your faculties and your not going to die in a year or less. She claims to me that shes isnt influencing my dad in anyway but just some of the things she says to my dad contradict that. He feels more obligated to stay up there because he doesnt want to blow the niece and her family off. He feels they need the money he gives them even though there income is way above the median income for a family of 4 in Idaho and thats not counting the money my dad gives them.
You might see my dad living alone as a huge gift but that statement is a complete illusion. Its no gift at all. My dad is on oxygen 24-7 and he doesnt get around all to well. Because he lives alone hes super vunerable. he told me he recently fell in the bathroom and he had to crawl out of the bathroom before he could stand up. The niece has her own family to take care of so if my dad becomes bed ridden then what? I believe in doing things preemptively instead of waiting until something bad happens. My dad should not be living alone! If she really cares about him why doesnt she move in with him or have him move in with her?

 

[Art_diesel]

OK. But note the part of the statute about the PR being able to "renounce" such a will provision.

I dont think it says that in his will. I had a professional read over his will. The only problem my pro found with the will was about my dads house. It states she can rent the house out as long as she sees fit.

 

[Ohiogal]

I dont think it says that in his will. I had a professional read over his will. The only problem my pro found with the will was about my dads house. It states she can rent the house out as long as she sees fit.

The statute ALLOWS for the PR to renounce that part of the will.

Seriously, you are contradicting yourself all over. You stated your father gets around well and therefore it is no hardship for his niece to take him to lunch and that is a treat for her but then you state,

" My dad is on oxygen 24-7 and he doesnt get around all to well. Because he lives alone hes super vunerable. he told me he recently fell in the bathroom and he had to crawl out of the bathroom before he could stand up."

You also strike me as very selfish and feel entitled to your father's belongings when he dies. You aren't. And he may not have an estate to leave you. Why do you feel that you deserve anything and that your niece is selfish? You seem to be the vulture waiting for him to pass so you can claim the remains.

 

[Art_diesel]

The statute ALLOWS for the PR to renounce that part of the will.

Seriously, you are contradicting yourself all over. You stated your father gets around well and therefore it is no hardship for his niece to take him to lunch and that is a treat for her but then you state,
You also strike me as very selfish and feel entitled to your father's belongings when he dies. You aren't. And he may not have an estate to leave you. Why do you feel that you deserve anything and that your niece is selfish? You seem to be the vulture waiting for him to pass so you can claim the remains.

Ouch! I guess I am the vulture. I always thought that parents leave there estates to their children. Im leaving my house to my kids. Im making my wife and her aunt an executor. Two people I trust with all my heart. And I know they'll make the best decisions possible.
Its funny how people are attacking me on here. Ive known my dad for 40+ years and shes known my dad for 4 years. Im starting to think most of the people on here are crazy and have no life. Really shows how messed up this country is when a lot of people are so miopic.
My friend Steve said it best. I asked him if Im being selfish or greedy worrying about the niece stealing from my dads estate. He said "no, not at all." He proceeded to tell me the story of his mom. Shes leaving him her house in Texas. Now Steve is a very god loving Christian and wouldnt hurt a soul. Hes the nicest man Ive ever met in my entire life. Id follow this guy to hell and back. Thats how much I love this guy. So he said that he loves his mom very much and he'll miss her when shes gone but its nice that shes leaving him the house. He has something to fall back on. So its normal for parents to leave there kids things. You can judge me all you want but yes, hes my dad and Im entitled to his things especially when he states that in his will! Ive never manipulated him in any way. He wants my sister and i to get everything not the niece. So please get your head out of your ass. Plus this thread has gone crazy. I only wanted advice to protect myself if the executor doesnt honor the will. Nothing more and nothing less.

 

[nextwife]

...or any credit for the constant care she seems to be providing for dad.

Agreed! She's the one there, doing the schlepping, making herself available.

It sure seems you are putting a lot of energy into the will. When was the last time you physically got yourself there?

 

[Art_diesel]

Agreed! She's the one there, doing the schlepping, making herself available.

It sure seems you are putting a lot of energy into the will. When was the last time you physically got yourself there?

I was there the first week of April with my wife and kids.

 

[Art_diesel]

OK. But note the part of the statute about the PR being able to "renounce" such a will provision.

Your right that she can renounce the provision in the will but she can only ask for compensation within reason. Plus I already told her I would pay her for all her work. Its not like I would shine her off or anything. And Id be very generous because she has been there for my dad.