Question on Alimony

[Ummonx]

What is the name of your state? CT

Hi all, My wife has informed me that she is thinking about divorcing me. I make about 129,000 a year roughly 7500/month Net. 3 kids. She does not work. no debt (other then the house)

My guess is if she got a job she would be making about 35k/year or so. If a divorce is in our future most likely it would be amicable. I plugged in those numbers on child support and got roughly $2100/month which I guess is fair. (I cover the insurance)

Assuming we went to a mediator and she got a job at 35k what kind of Monthly Alimony could I expect? I do not want to leave her and the children destitute. I just really want to figure out what would be fair and what my financial options would be

Thanks

 

[Bali Hai]

What is the name of your state? CT

Hi all, My wife has informed me that she is thinking about divorcing me. I make about 129,000 a year roughly 7500/month Net. 3 kids. She does not work. no debt (other then the house)

My guess is if she got a job she would be making about 35k/year or so. If a divorce is in our future most likely it would be amicable. I plugged in those numbers on child support and got roughly $2100/month which I guess is fair. (I cover the insurance)

Assuming we went to a mediator and she got a job at 35k what kind of Monthly Alimony could I expect? I do not want to leave her and the children destitute. I just really want to figure out what would be fair and what my financial options would be

Thanks

What you consider fair alimony is likely not to be what she considers fair.

Judges award alimony based on prescribed factors written into law and the law gives these judges the discretion to dream up more factors if they wish.

I believe you will be ordered to pay alimony but only the judge will know how much and for how long.

 

[nextwife]

How long were you married, how long has she been out of the workforce? How long would it take for her to brush up on her job skills/recertify. whatever?

 

[Ummonx]

We have been married for 10 years. I did pay for her to get training for jewelry making. If she doesn't decide to do that she could probably get a job pretty fast (maybe 3 months tops)

She hasn't worked in 6 years.

As I Said I know I would have to pay alimony. I'm just wondering roughly how much would be typical. Its more then likely to be amicable.

If we split the assets 50/50 she would probably walk away with about $160k or so.

 

[nextwife]

Don't agree to permanent alimony! Try for half the length of the marriage.

Who will have custody? You have every right to go for shared legal and physical custody. Primary placement parent gets CS, half or more day care, medical coverage. So look at your state's CS calculator and add all that up. Because that's all there before you touch the alimony issue.

 

[Bali Hai]

We have been married for 10 years. I did pay for her to get training for jewelry making. If she doesn't decide to do that she could probably get a job pretty fast (maybe 3 months tops)

She hasn't worked in 6 years.

As I Said I know I would have to pay alimony. I'm just wondering roughly how much would be typical. Its more then likely to be amicable.

If we split the assets 50/50 she would probably walk away with about $160k or so.

That is nothing compared to your annual salary and would have little to do with an alimony award.

You are putting alot of what if's in the equation. When do you expect her to be making close to your annual salary?

Juat a WAG, plan on paying $2k per month for at least 5 years.

 

[Ummonx]

yea I figured 5 years would be fair. She would get shared custody

I plugged the numbers in on the CS calculator. I provide insurance. Day care I didn't take into account. Without the day care it came to 2100.

so would you usually take my Net after CS add it to hers and divide it by 2 and the difference would be the alimony? is that typical?

 

[Bali Hai]

yea I figured 5 years would be fair. She would get shared custody

I plugged the numbers in on the CS calculator. I provide insurance. Day care I didn't take into account. Without the day care it came to 2100.

so would you usually take my Net after CS add it to hers and divide it by 2 and the difference would be the alimony? is that typical?

Your income will be $105k after the CS payment. Her income will be zero. If I were you, she would be working at that $35k job you refer to FIRST before I made another move.

You should have NEVER let her leave the work force and if she insisted on staying home, divorced her at that time.

 

[Ummonx]

Thanks for your advice you guys.

We'll see what goes on. My guess was close to what you guys came up with so thank you.

Of course if she fights me I know all this goes out the window. I really just wanted to know if my expectations were realistic.

Thanks again!

 

[nextwife]

yea I figured 5 years would be fair. She would get shared custody

I plugged the numbers in on the CS calculator. I provide insurance. Day care I didn't take into account. Without the day care it came to 2100.

so would you usually take my Net after CS add it to hers and divide it by 2 and the difference would be the alimony? is that typical?

I don't think you should divide your leftover salary by two. After all, if she then starts out making $30,000 or $35,000 a year, she then has your 1/2, the CS and her salary. Way more than you have.

 

[nextwife]

Your income will be $105k after the CS payment. Her income will be zero. If I were you, she would be working at that $35k job you refer to FIRST before I made another move.

You should have NEVER let her leave the work force and if she insisted on staying home, divorced her at that time.

Unfortunately, men who have , or allow, their wives to stay home for a few years "until the kids are in school" (which then somehow often gets turned into forever) end up being financially punished for giving their wives a break from the workforce by then being rewarded with supporting them for years or forever..

 

[nextwife]

Your income will be $105k after the CS payment. Her income will be zero. If I were you, she would be working at that $35k job you refer to FIRST before I made another move.

You should have NEVER let her leave the work force and if she insisted on staying home, divorced her at that time.

Unfortunately, men who have their wives stay home for a few years "until the kids are in school" (which then somehow often gets turned into forever) end up being financially punished for giving their wives a break from the workforce by then being rewarded with supporting them for years or forever..

 

[Ummonx]

Thanks Next.

By the way I agree wholehearted with your sig. Adopted, found birth family a couple of years ago.

 

[nextwife]

Thank you. Congrats on finding your biological family. My kiddo is unlikely to be able to do that as she was abandoned to an orphanage, not in the US, just after birth, where she remained for two years until we adopted her.

So, out of curiousity, who do YOU consider to be your "real" parents? Just wondering about an adult adoptee perspective.

 

[Ummonx]

I was very clear with my Bio's My REAL parents are the ones that raised me. My REAL Sister is the one that I grew up with.

Thats not to say that the other brothers and sisters have not embraced me as their "Big Brother" very nice kids

Just a suggestion to you. Make sure that your kid knows tell them the first time they ask where they came from. They won't understand it but it won't be a shock later either.

Worst thing thats going to happen is they will have some really bizzare ideas where babies come from