What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?Arizona
Put on your seatbelts - we're going for a wild ride. Any ideas you could share would be greatly appreciated!
Here it goes...
In '97 I met my ex-boyfriend. I was 19 and he was 42, charming, easygoing, the works. We got along very well, and after a year or so I moved in. He had been recently divorced, and explained that he had some credit card debt left over from his ex-wife. I had very little credit established at the time, and he offered to help build my credit up. He proposed I open a credit card in my name, and transfer 6K of his debt onto it. He claimed I would get good credit (because he was going to pay it off very quickly), and he would get a much lower interest rate. It sounded good to a neophite like me, so I was more than eager to help him in any way I could. I was in awe of him, I loved him, and I trusted him. So, it was done.
Soon after, he took over all the finances in our house. I had a traveling job, and I was out of town very frequently. I also trusted him to know what he was doing: he was much older and experienced, and he also took very good care of his credit. I would see him updating Quicken often, dispute charges, be on time, etc. I was actually glad to let someone else handle it: I was intimidated due to my inexperience with financial matters. He put my mind at ease, and conveyed that I was "in good hands". You could tell me now how stupid I was, but trust me, nobody already knows that better than me.
So, over time, I forgot all about this card. We lived together for 6 happy years. Although we had a good relationship, I didn't marry him, because I had a few reservations, most of which were nagging in the back of my mind. I'm glad I listened. I always told him that I would eventually move on and go further to grad school, probably out of state. He always knew this and we discussed it many times. He said he understood and would be happy to have me for as long as I chose to stay.
I left in the spring of 2004. We had grown apart, and even though I didn't know it at the time, he had an internet girlfriend he was "seeing", and I could feel something wasn't right. So I moved back in with my parents. I had the proverbial tail between my legs and everything, as the parents had never approved and told me "we told you so" on more than one occasion. I had a few credit cards in my name at the time, and with the help of my family, I immediately paid them off and closed them. I didn't want any debt, as I wanted to start over, lick my wounds, learn my lesson, and focus on the future. I realized I had been naive and immature, and I was determined to show my family that I had grown up. I applied to graduate schools, and started working as a Case Manager for the state.
When my ex-boyfriend applied for the credit card (he filled everything out, I just signed it), he stated that the household income was $125K. Well, since he was making over $90K, that was true at the time, and the credit limit was set pretty high, something like $15K. When I left my ex and moved back in with my parents, he sent over a spreadsheet, in detail, with all my finances. He named every credit card, every bill, due dates, etc. I went off of it when I took over doing my own finances. I never forwarded my mail, since we live 10 minutes away, and we had broken up on good terms.
Not long after I had moved out, he moved his new 23 year old girlfriend in with him from out of state, and got married late last year. Anyway, I had been invited to a party in July, to which I went, and I picked up my mail. There were no bills or statements from any credit cards.
November of last year inevitably rolled around, and I received a (rude awakening) collections call at my parents' house. They informed me that I owe $12K on a card opened in '99. I knew I had paid off all my cards, so I was taken by surprise. I looked at the spreadsheet from my ex, detailing my expenses, and that card was not listed. I initally sent it to fraud, but the company mailed me the application, and sure enough, it was the card my ex filled out to transfer his $6K on. I remembered the arrangement, and it was obvious he never paid it quickly, as he agreed. On top of it, he charged another $7K to it in 2001, using one of those credit card checks, and again, it's all in his writing, but my signature is on it. He never told me outright about the $7K or ask my permission. Yes, I know, it's stupid I was signing what he gave me, but at the time I didn't think I had any reason not to trust him.
The credit card company also told me that minimum payments continued to be made until about April of 2004, when a man called them and told them 1) the person these statements belong to no longer lives there and he doesn't know where the person lives (which is a lie, he knew were I was all along) and 2) he threatened that if the company doesn't lower the interest rate, he'd stop paying. Well, companies don't like to be threatened, so you can guess they didn't lower it. So, he stopped paying. He didn't call me or email me to tell me about this card and to inform me he stopped paying. He just kept silent and let my credit tank. He didn't give me a statement, he didn't let on in any way about it, but let me find out from the collectors.
So, I called him, and he pretty much said "too bad, so sad". He made excuses, said he knows it's not what the agreement was, but he recently came back from his honeymoon to some unforseen expenses, and he's sorry but he doesn't have the money to pay for it.
In the meantime, I got accepted to grad school, so I'm starting school in May. After Friday, I will have no income whatsoever. I tried to negotiate a settlement with the collections agency, when something else hit: the collector asked me if I was going to stop paying on my "other card" as well. I asked him "what other card", and he named another card with a balance of over $8K, which was not delinquent.
In yet another meantime, I got a letter from the IRS, informing me that 1) they are keeping my refund for last year and 2) they think I owe them $32K from 2002. Well, turns out my ex filed jointly for that year, against my knowledge, and while he was working as a contractor, never put aside any taxes. So, now the IRS is after us both for $32K. I confronted him on this and he claims he filed jointly as a mistake (pushed the wrong button in Turbo Tax and sent the "wrong simulation"). Doesn't explain why the IRS told me he filed joinly for 2001 as well, but anyway, I know it's BS. I also wrote to the IRS and let them know we were not married. I hope that part of it to work out in my favor.
This weekend I purchased my credit report, and went over it in detail. Turns out there IS another credit card, opened in March of '99 (also one he had not discussed with me or told me about). He put himself as an "authorized user". Well, according to records, the balance when I left him in spring 2004 was $0. Since last spring he has charged over $8K on it. All kinds of purchases, but the cherry on top has to be split between Victoria's Secret and David's Bridal.
In a recent email, he said they re-financed the house, and are able to give me $5K to pay off the card in collections. Says I should negotiate the balance down and pay the rest of it myself. I wrote him back and said I was only interested in an offer that settled everything between us, so is there *ANYTHING* else I need to know about? He wrote that there isn't. So, he's completely still trying to hide the other card which I now found out about. He's still making purchases on it, as recently as March 28th.
So, I'm completely in over my head here. I don't want to just close the second card in fear he'll get pissed off and stop paying and then it'll go in collections as well, like the first one. I also don't want to let him know I know about it right away, because I want to think about what my best strategy is to approach all the issues together. I do have a lot of evidence of his advantage-taking.
All the applications are in his handwriting. They were all opened not too long after we met - so it does look like as soon as found me and gained my trust, bam! Then especially for the second card, which had a $0 balance when I left, every single purchase on that card has his signature on it. Also, all the payments on both cards are from his checking account. He never told me about these cards when I left, and continued to pay for them until he stopped on the first one. The whole history with these cards has his imprint on them, not mine, except my signature on the applications. Although he makes around $100K a year now, the has a very nice house with high payments, nice car with high payments, and is maxed out on all his cards.
Some questions:
1) Is there any way that the credit card companies would go after him with all this evidence? So far they are not interested - they say I'm the "primary holder" so all they care about is me at this point. They say that since he was "authorized" by me, it's not their business he didn't uphold a verbal agreement with me.
2) Can I sue him, and how do I go about it? What could happen if I win? I really don't want to file bankrupcy and destroy my credit for years over his debt. I mean, if I had charged up that debt it would be one thing, but it's not even mine. What avenues are available for me to pursue, such as fraud, exploitation, etc.?
3) How would it work getting a lawyer involved in this? I am afraid that taking him to court could cost more than is owed, and in the end if he files bankrupcy, I won't get the cards paid, plus I'd owe attorney fees.
Any strategies, thoughts, etc. would be appreciated. Feel free to send a virtual *smack*.
Put on your seatbelts - we're going for a wild ride. Any ideas you could share would be greatly appreciated!
Here it goes...
In '97 I met my ex-boyfriend. I was 19 and he was 42, charming, easygoing, the works. We got along very well, and after a year or so I moved in. He had been recently divorced, and explained that he had some credit card debt left over from his ex-wife. I had very little credit established at the time, and he offered to help build my credit up. He proposed I open a credit card in my name, and transfer 6K of his debt onto it. He claimed I would get good credit (because he was going to pay it off very quickly), and he would get a much lower interest rate. It sounded good to a neophite like me, so I was more than eager to help him in any way I could. I was in awe of him, I loved him, and I trusted him. So, it was done.
Soon after, he took over all the finances in our house. I had a traveling job, and I was out of town very frequently. I also trusted him to know what he was doing: he was much older and experienced, and he also took very good care of his credit. I would see him updating Quicken often, dispute charges, be on time, etc. I was actually glad to let someone else handle it: I was intimidated due to my inexperience with financial matters. He put my mind at ease, and conveyed that I was "in good hands". You could tell me now how stupid I was, but trust me, nobody already knows that better than me.
So, over time, I forgot all about this card. We lived together for 6 happy years. Although we had a good relationship, I didn't marry him, because I had a few reservations, most of which were nagging in the back of my mind. I'm glad I listened. I always told him that I would eventually move on and go further to grad school, probably out of state. He always knew this and we discussed it many times. He said he understood and would be happy to have me for as long as I chose to stay.
I left in the spring of 2004. We had grown apart, and even though I didn't know it at the time, he had an internet girlfriend he was "seeing", and I could feel something wasn't right. So I moved back in with my parents. I had the proverbial tail between my legs and everything, as the parents had never approved and told me "we told you so" on more than one occasion. I had a few credit cards in my name at the time, and with the help of my family, I immediately paid them off and closed them. I didn't want any debt, as I wanted to start over, lick my wounds, learn my lesson, and focus on the future. I realized I had been naive and immature, and I was determined to show my family that I had grown up. I applied to graduate schools, and started working as a Case Manager for the state.
When my ex-boyfriend applied for the credit card (he filled everything out, I just signed it), he stated that the household income was $125K. Well, since he was making over $90K, that was true at the time, and the credit limit was set pretty high, something like $15K. When I left my ex and moved back in with my parents, he sent over a spreadsheet, in detail, with all my finances. He named every credit card, every bill, due dates, etc. I went off of it when I took over doing my own finances. I never forwarded my mail, since we live 10 minutes away, and we had broken up on good terms.
Not long after I had moved out, he moved his new 23 year old girlfriend in with him from out of state, and got married late last year. Anyway, I had been invited to a party in July, to which I went, and I picked up my mail. There were no bills or statements from any credit cards.
November of last year inevitably rolled around, and I received a (rude awakening) collections call at my parents' house. They informed me that I owe $12K on a card opened in '99. I knew I had paid off all my cards, so I was taken by surprise. I looked at the spreadsheet from my ex, detailing my expenses, and that card was not listed. I initally sent it to fraud, but the company mailed me the application, and sure enough, it was the card my ex filled out to transfer his $6K on. I remembered the arrangement, and it was obvious he never paid it quickly, as he agreed. On top of it, he charged another $7K to it in 2001, using one of those credit card checks, and again, it's all in his writing, but my signature is on it. He never told me outright about the $7K or ask my permission. Yes, I know, it's stupid I was signing what he gave me, but at the time I didn't think I had any reason not to trust him.
The credit card company also told me that minimum payments continued to be made until about April of 2004, when a man called them and told them 1) the person these statements belong to no longer lives there and he doesn't know where the person lives (which is a lie, he knew were I was all along) and 2) he threatened that if the company doesn't lower the interest rate, he'd stop paying. Well, companies don't like to be threatened, so you can guess they didn't lower it. So, he stopped paying. He didn't call me or email me to tell me about this card and to inform me he stopped paying. He just kept silent and let my credit tank. He didn't give me a statement, he didn't let on in any way about it, but let me find out from the collectors.
So, I called him, and he pretty much said "too bad, so sad". He made excuses, said he knows it's not what the agreement was, but he recently came back from his honeymoon to some unforseen expenses, and he's sorry but he doesn't have the money to pay for it.
In the meantime, I got accepted to grad school, so I'm starting school in May. After Friday, I will have no income whatsoever. I tried to negotiate a settlement with the collections agency, when something else hit: the collector asked me if I was going to stop paying on my "other card" as well. I asked him "what other card", and he named another card with a balance of over $8K, which was not delinquent.
In yet another meantime, I got a letter from the IRS, informing me that 1) they are keeping my refund for last year and 2) they think I owe them $32K from 2002. Well, turns out my ex filed jointly for that year, against my knowledge, and while he was working as a contractor, never put aside any taxes. So, now the IRS is after us both for $32K. I confronted him on this and he claims he filed jointly as a mistake (pushed the wrong button in Turbo Tax and sent the "wrong simulation"). Doesn't explain why the IRS told me he filed joinly for 2001 as well, but anyway, I know it's BS. I also wrote to the IRS and let them know we were not married. I hope that part of it to work out in my favor.
This weekend I purchased my credit report, and went over it in detail. Turns out there IS another credit card, opened in March of '99 (also one he had not discussed with me or told me about). He put himself as an "authorized user". Well, according to records, the balance when I left him in spring 2004 was $0. Since last spring he has charged over $8K on it. All kinds of purchases, but the cherry on top has to be split between Victoria's Secret and David's Bridal.
In a recent email, he said they re-financed the house, and are able to give me $5K to pay off the card in collections. Says I should negotiate the balance down and pay the rest of it myself. I wrote him back and said I was only interested in an offer that settled everything between us, so is there *ANYTHING* else I need to know about? He wrote that there isn't. So, he's completely still trying to hide the other card which I now found out about. He's still making purchases on it, as recently as March 28th.
So, I'm completely in over my head here. I don't want to just close the second card in fear he'll get pissed off and stop paying and then it'll go in collections as well, like the first one. I also don't want to let him know I know about it right away, because I want to think about what my best strategy is to approach all the issues together. I do have a lot of evidence of his advantage-taking.
All the applications are in his handwriting. They were all opened not too long after we met - so it does look like as soon as found me and gained my trust, bam! Then especially for the second card, which had a $0 balance when I left, every single purchase on that card has his signature on it. Also, all the payments on both cards are from his checking account. He never told me about these cards when I left, and continued to pay for them until he stopped on the first one. The whole history with these cards has his imprint on them, not mine, except my signature on the applications. Although he makes around $100K a year now, the has a very nice house with high payments, nice car with high payments, and is maxed out on all his cards.
Some questions:
1) Is there any way that the credit card companies would go after him with all this evidence? So far they are not interested - they say I'm the "primary holder" so all they care about is me at this point. They say that since he was "authorized" by me, it's not their business he didn't uphold a verbal agreement with me.
2) Can I sue him, and how do I go about it? What could happen if I win? I really don't want to file bankrupcy and destroy my credit for years over his debt. I mean, if I had charged up that debt it would be one thing, but it's not even mine. What avenues are available for me to pursue, such as fraud, exploitation, etc.?
3) How would it work getting a lawyer involved in this? I am afraid that taking him to court could cost more than is owed, and in the end if he files bankrupcy, I won't get the cards paid, plus I'd owe attorney fees.
Any strategies, thoughts, etc. would be appreciated. Feel free to send a virtual *smack*.
.