Reduced parenting time

[Momto1]

Hey, at least we were married when I gave birth...he never even thought of marrying her...they were never serious from what I observed. But hey, live and learn....and he said he is soughting some things out in his life and can't see her right now. I do know he has another girlfriend but oh well...who cares

WOW!!!! If I didn't know any better I would have thought this was me posting about 5 years ago!!
Not legal advice but some advice from one mother to another, just let it go......it doesn't matter if he married her, you or whoever he marries next. I've read your previous posts and you honestly sound like I used to be when I married my XH. I was a horrible overbearing thought I my parenting styles (when I wasn't even the parent to begin with) were right/better and nothing my step-child's mother did was right! I wasn't around when the child was born but I had enough common sense to have not gone up to the hospital.
Guess what my XH did the same thing to me as he did to her,except worse and he wasn't allowed to see our child for two yrs, which meant his children would have no contact for two yrs. Guess who needed to come tot he realization that she was horrible wrong???? ME! This was not something easily admitted either because I bad mouthed this woman from here to kingdom come and quite honestly needed to be put in my place.
And I knew I was wrong. I went and met up with the mother and apologized profously and somehow or another that woman forgave me, to the point of she began watching my child for me during the day because she was a stay at home mom with 4 other children and that was the only way our children could visit and I couldn't be more grateful.

My point is. Start from today, if he isn't seeing your (pl) child then accept it. If he isn't paying support then file the appropriate paperwork and do what you can through the courts, but don't expect anything from him and you won't be disappointed. The writing was on the wall for you as to what your future and your child's future would be and you chose your path this is where we as adults and mothers DEAL WITH IT.

 

[Ohiogal]

WOW!!!! If I didn't know any better I would have thought this was me posting about 5 years ago!!
Not legal advice but some advice from one mother to another, just let it go......it doesn't matter if he married her, you or whoever he marries next. I've read your previous posts and you honestly sound like I used to be when I married my XH. I was a horrible overbearing thought I my parenting styles (when I wasn't even the parent to begin with) were right/better and nothing my step-child's mother did was right! I wasn't around when the child was born but I had enough common sense to have not gone up to the hospital.
Guess what my XH did the same thing to me as he did to her,except worse and he wasn't allowed to see our child for two yrs, which meant his children would have no contact for two yrs. Guess who needed to come tot he realization that she was horrible wrong???? ME! This was not something easily admitted either because I bad mouthed this woman from here to kingdom come and quite honestly needed to be put in my place.
And I knew I was wrong. I went and met up with the mother and apologized profously and somehow or another that woman forgave me, to the point of she began watching my child for me during the day because she was a stay at home mom with 4 other children and that was the only way our children could visit and I couldn't be more grateful.

My point is. Start from today, if he isn't seeing your (pl) child then accept it. If he isn't paying support then file the appropriate paperwork and do what you can through the courts, but don't expect anything from him and you won't be disappointed. The writing was on the wall for you as to what your future and your child's future would be and you chose your path this is where we as adults and mothers DEAL WITH IT.

Good words but don't expect her to listen. In one of her threads she went on about how she was helping him AVOID supporting his child with his ex. Why? Because the ex didn't deserve it. She has been on this forum for quite a while and her posts are NEVER about showing growth. They are always full of selfishness and egotism.

 

[Momto1]

Good words but don't expect her to listen. In one of her threads she went on about how she was helping him AVOID supporting his child with his ex. Why? Because the ex didn't deserve it. She has been on this forum for quite a while and her posts are NEVER about showing growth. They are always full of selfishness and egotism.

Yeah I forgot about the avoiding support issue. I was never that bad but, but still she reminds me of me many moons ago

 

[frylover]

Not that is matters, SM4ver, but....

You do realize he is probably saying to the new play toy ALL the same thingsa ABOUT you that he said TO you about Kim, don't you? He never REALLY loved you, that she's the first one he's every REALLY loved, you are an evil wench for wanting his money, etc etc....

And if play toy decides it would be fun to play mommy, he may start seeing your child, and you will know how Kim felt when you tried to butt in to the situation with HER child. Think about how you treated Kim when that day comes (cuz it may!)

 

[AHA]

Hey, at least we were married when I gave birth...he never even thought of marrying her...they were never serious from what I observed. But hey, live and learn....and he said he is soughting some things out in his life and can't see her right now. I do know he has another girlfriend but oh well...who cares

What difference does that make????? You still ended up alone, so being married to him did you no better than NOT being married to him did to his other ex. I'd say she was actually a genius for not marrying him, but you KNEW about what kind of father he would be, so you can't blame your bad choices on her. Leave her alone.

 

[AHA]

hey, dude aint gonna just show up 8-12 years later taking about "hey I wanna se me child"...it on't work that way...I'm not making my child available to some dude that magically will appear years down the line, lol picutre that...a total stranger by then

Hey, you picked him, knowing what he was like. You can never undo having children with him. Unless a judge says otherwise, he will ALWAYS have a right to your children with him. Karma is a biatch, innit?

 

[Isis1]

Hey, you picked him, knowing what he was like. You can never undo having children with him. Unless a judge says otherwise, he will ALWAYS have a right to your children with him. Karma is a biatch, innit?

Okay. You said it! That was right on the money!

 

[AHA]

Okay. You said it! That was right on the money!

Just watch OP come back and whine about it.

 

[jbowman]

Just watch OP come back and whine about it.

Well, it seems that she is still on some kick that she was "better" than the first woman

Hey, at least we were married when I gave birth...he never even thought of marrying her..

She doesnt get it that she is the SAME. Its like she still gives this guy some kind of pedestal status instead of seeing him for the scum he is. I would be embarrassed that I was bamboozled into thinking he was good enough to marry. Her insecurity is plain - she feels like he CHOSE her and SHE was the one one that was good enough. Yuck

 

[Isis1]

Well, it seems that she is still on some kick that she was "better" than the first woman

She doesnt get it that she is the SAME. Its like she still gives this guy some kind of pedestal status instead of seeing him for the scum he is. I would be embarrassed that I was bamboozled into thinking he was good enough to marry. Her insecurity is plain - she feels like he CHOSE her and SHE was the one one that was good enough. Yuck

Another outlook on it. Ugh. That's just gross.

I'd like to point out, married by the birth, not the conception....funny how that worked out, itinit?