Right of first refusal?

[gingin4u2]

What is the name of your state? California.
I’m going to court tomorrow on child support modification. A change in job and schedule of EX now requires him to leave for work at 5:30 AM. He has our son Sat.-Thur. every other week. So now he drops off our son every night at Grandma’s to stay and get ready for school the next morning. I’m am also the day care provider for our child, meaning I pick him up from school everyday where he stays until his father gets him around 6PM on his weeks. If I ask for a “right of first refusal” to be entered into our agreement, would it apply in this circumstance? How does that change % of time or does it? I just don’t see if he’s not going to be with him than why can’t I? We live less than 5 minutes apart so wouldn’t it be just as easy to drop him off at my house? Any comments are welcome, thank you.

 

[tigger22472]

It really depends on the judge. The judge could say yes if the ex needs child care he should inform you first. BUT your ex could argue that child has a relationship with g'ma for one and for two that child is basically there to sleep and the judge could see it his way also. Technically g'ma only has him a few hours of awake time and that could make the difference for him. Depending on the issues at hand more then like the judge will not address this tomorrow unless it's already addressed in the motion as CS and visitation issues are considered to be separate.

 

[stealth2]

As tigger said - if tomorrow is purely a CS issue, you'd have to file a separate motion regarding right of first refusal.

 

[LdiJ]

It would be perfectly reasonable for you to file a motion to modify the parenting schedule based on dad's change in work schedule. There is actually no reason for the child to sleep at grandma's when the child could be with you instead.

If dad's new schedule makes him available to pick up the child from school on his days, instead of you, then it would also be reasonable to adjust the schedule for that as well.

I forget what state you are from, (didn't pay enough attention, sorry) however if you are in one of the states that calculates child support based on overnights, then dad is going to fight that if he thinks that you will try to raise child support due to fewer overnights...so keep that in mind.

 

[gingin4u2]

California, Thanks for the information.
Update: Day before case to be heard his attorney called and requested a continuance because of conflicting schedules, we agreed because now it will give us time to file and add "right of first refusal" so it can be heard at the same time. Due to the courts being so overwhelmed I was told it probably wouldn’t be until March. Question: Should I verbally ask my EX if I could start having our son for the overnights? Stating "I'm filing for it anyway." I believe he will fight me on this in court and now because of the percentage thing, but doesn't waiting give them time to establish a relationship and pattern? What other reasons could they use to fight the "right of first refusal”? Is there a way I can refuse to add the %, as long as it means he can stay the nights here? Thanks...

 

[LdiJ]

California, Thanks for the information.
Update: Day before case to be heard his attorney called and requested a continuance because of conflicting schedules, we agreed because now it will give us time to file and add "right of first refusal" so it can be heard at the same time. Due to the courts being so overwhelmed I was told it probably wouldn’t be until March. Question: Should I verbally ask my EX if I could start having our son for the overnights? Stating "I'm filing for it anyway." I believe he will fight me on this in court and now because of the percentage thing, but doesn't waiting give them time to establish a relationship and pattern? What other reasons could they use to fight the "right of first refusal”? Is there a way I can refuse to add the %, as long as it means he can stay the nights here? Thanks...

Well, you could simply tell him that if he officially agrees to let you have the child on the overnights...that you can drop everything else and have that be a simple agreement.