School tardies

[Silverplum]

NOTE: And before I get blasted for saying "we". I am very involved but defer to DH and mom in all matters. I may offer my advice to DH but he can take or leave it. And mom and I get along.

Sugar, if anyone/everyone here knew how our "step situation" works in real life, I'd be banned for life.

If no one else understands you, I do.

 

[maryjo]

Is 6 times in half a year a lot?

I only ask because my son has been late 4 times in the first half of the school year. I am not concerned about it but my MOTHER had a fit about it. LOL! I didnt think 4 (2 first semester and 2 the second) was all that bad. But we have to hit the expressway to get there and sometimes get stuck in traffic.

 

[TheGeekess]

Is 6 times in half a year a lot?

I only ask because my son has been late 4 times in the first half of the school year. I am not concerned about it but my MOTHER had a fit about it. LOL! I didnt think 4 (2 first semester and 2 the second) was all that bad. But we have to hit the expressway to get there and sometimes get stuck in traffic.

In my local school district, three (unexcused) tardies=1 unexcused absence. Doesn't matter if The Child is 1 minute late for school or 3 hours late. We're more likely to be a minute or two late as opposed to hours, but she still gets dinged and I get ugly letters from the vice-principal.

 

[maryjo]

In my local school district, three (unexcused) tardies=1 unexcused absence. Doesn't matter if The Child is 1 minute late for school or 3 hours late. We're more likely to be a minute or two late as opposed to hours, but she still gets dinged and I get ugly letters from the vice-principal.

Last year my son's teacher was SO strict on being tardy. One second late and you were tardy. This year his teacher isnt so bad. I dont even know how many tardies it takes to equal one absence. I should check I guess. LOL! All I know is that so far, knock on wood, he has a perfect attendence record even with the 4 tardies and that has NEVER happend before! (He has been on A/B honor roll all year as well. Just had to brag a little. LOL!)

 

[penelope10]

In my local school district, three (unexcused) tardies=1 unexcused absence. Doesn't matter if The Child is 1 minute late for school or 3 hours late. We're more likely to be a minute or two late as opposed to hours, but she still gets dinged and I get ugly letters from the vice-principal.

It's the same in our school district as well...I wonder if that is where the 1 unexcused absence is coming from in OP's earlier post....

 

[bugsmom18]

duplicate post - I added more to 2nd one - see below

 

[bugsmom18]

Thanks for all the replies. In our school district - the website does NOT have the handbook posted.

Silver: Thanks baby!

MaryJo: IMO, I think any tardies is too many but I could understand 1-2 PER YEAR. I mean it can happen. But 6 is laziness IMO. (no offense to your 4!) But I'm anal about being on time and prefer to be early!

The tardy bell rings at 8:15, 2nd tardy bell rings at 8:20 and anything after that is unexcused absence for the 1st period. They are strict enough to keep track if the kid isn't there at 8:15.

The thing that burns dad's a$$ the most is that MOM DOESN'T WORK (well part-time like I said about 2 or 3 in afternoon till 7 or 8 or whatever time the "girls" want to go out and her work days are usually Tues, Wed & Thurs, some Fridays if she's ambitious but she makes is very clear that she doesn't WANT to work and dad should pay more CS but keep kid more). She doesn't have to get anyone ready but kiddo and they seriously live 6 blocks from the school with traffic NOT an issue. Kiddo could walk or ride a bike! We use same school for MY DD and she has NEVER been late and we have to deal with all sorts of traffic. But then I am a superior parent, of course! (please read sarcasm/funny there). This has turned into more of my gripe session - sorry for that. I'm not so bitter in real life! I swear!

 

[candg918]

Practical suggestion for seniors to comment on:

Get stepDD an simple alarmclock and show her how to use it. She may be able to get herself dressed, brush teeth and her own cereal and milk. If not, she can wake mom up for help.

Stop and pick her up on your way to school since you or DH is going there anyway with your DD. I'd probably call every day to make sure that stepDD is ready to go until everyone gets with the program so everyone is not late.

Granted it is far over and above what you should be required to do, but stepDD will get to school on time. It may shame - or annoy - mom into doing the right thing.

(The reward is that when DH gets taken back to court for more CS or wants more priviledges, this is in his favor.)

 

[LdiJ]

I didn't read this whole thread....so I am not basing this on what anyone else has said.

The child has hardly any absenses at all from school, and 6 tardies after about 7 months of the school year....that's just less than once a month. I honestly don't see that as being all that big of a deal, and I bet that the school doesn't really see that as all that big of a deal either.

I think that dad needs to "chill". Being late to school less than once a month, with hardy any absenses, is not going to effect the child's education.

Now, if it was happening once a week, or the child was also absent an excessive amount....then it really would be a big deal.

 

[Perky]

I didn't read this whole thread....so I am not basing this on what anyone else has said.

The child has hardly any absenses at all from school, and 6 tardies after about 7 months of the school year....that's just less than once a month. I honestly don't see that as being all that big of a deal, and I bet that the school doesn't really see that as all that big of a deal either.

I think that dad needs to "chill". Being late to school less than once a month, with hardy any absenses, is not going to effect the child's education.

Now, if it was happening once a week, or the child was also absent an excessive amount....then it really would be a big deal.

I have to agree. I'm a teacher, and I would LOVE to have all of my students arrive on time. Unfortunately, in my school, 6 tardies in 7 months is a decent attendance record, and no cause for alarm. One of my students is so frequently late, that I'd bet he's only been on time 6 times in 7 months!

I understand your husband's frustration, especially when you and he are so responsible in your commitments. However, I don't think it's worth getting worked up about, and it's unlikely to affect his daughter academic progress.

The most troubling part is your stepdaughter's perception of her mother's interest in her education. That's so sad.

She's lucky to have her dad and you.

 

[bugsmom18]

Thanks for the replies. I did check the handbook and it states that 5 unexcused tardies will be considered 1/2 day unexcused absense. This week's AU1 was changed to TU0 which means she made it before 8:30 apparently. Dad is still going to have a talk with mom and we actually discussed him offering to pick up DD before school, etc.

I can understand where those of you think that being late is not that big of a deal. She isn't absent because IMO mom doesn't want her during the day (mom sleeps a lot according to his DD and from DH's own experience while married for 13 years). DH does think it's a big deal and is only a small part of the BIG picture of this mom not putting DD first in anything.

We already got DD an alarm clock which she doesn't hear sometimes (same at our house) and we talked to her about getting up and getting dressed on her own, land wake her mom up to say that she needs to go to school. And we also talked about DD keeping an eye on the clock so she knows when it's time to leave (8 is late!) The kids are supposed to arrive at school between 7:45 and 8:10. The 1st tardy is 8:15 and 2nd is 8:20. His DD's class does Rocket Math and she would have more time to spend practicing if she got there earlier. When she's late, she doesn't get to do the practice test before she has to do the timed test. Small thing? Probably, but still so frustrating for dad.

I'll let ya'll know how the talk works out. My advice to dad was to keep it non-confrontational (even if she gets ballistic) and to ask how he can help her get their DD to school on time all the time.

 

[LdiJ]

Thanks for the replies. I did check the handbook and it states that 5 unexcused tardies will be considered 1/2 day unexcused absense. This week's AU1 was changed to TU0 which means she made it before 8:30 apparently. Dad is still going to have a talk with mom and we actually discussed him offering to pick up DD before school, etc.

I can understand where those of you think that being late is not that big of a deal. She isn't absent because IMO mom doesn't want her during the day (mom sleeps a lot according to his DD and from DH's own experience while married for 13 years). DH does think it's a big deal and is only a small part of the BIG picture of this mom not putting DD first in anything.

We already got DD an alarm clock which she doesn't hear sometimes (same at our house) and we talked to her about getting up and getting dressed on her own, land wake her mom up to say that she needs to go to school. And we also talked about DD keeping an eye on the clock so she knows when it's time to leave (8 is late!) The kids are supposed to arrive at school between 7:45 and 8:10. The 1st tardy is 8:15 and 2nd is 8:20. His DD's class does Rocket Math and she would have more time to spend practicing if she got there earlier. When she's late, she doesn't get to do the practice test before she has to do the timed test. Small thing? Probably, but still so frustrating for dad.

I'll let ya'll know how the talk works out. My advice to dad was to keep it non-confrontational (even if she gets ballistic) and to ask how he can help her get their DD to school on time all the time.

I am sorry, but I still think that a tardy less than once a month, particularly with a child that has very few absences, is NOT indicative of a problem, and not worth getting mom's back up. In fact, I think that making an issue out of it is even bordering on "controlling".

Again, if it becomes significantly more frequent than that, then yes, its an issue, but at present, in my opinion, it absolutely IS NOT.

I come from a family of educators, (I even taught a semester of middle school, and that gave me a whole NEW respect for educators..LOL) and I ran this one by my sister, who is a teacher. Her response? "Tell dad to take a chill pill".

 

[stealth2]

If FIVE tardies = a HALF day absence? That's nothing. And this is from someone whose kids have accumulated 1 tardy and 10 absences in a cumulative 20 years of schooling.

Would it *annoy* me? Absolutely. But it's not something I'd take to court.

 

[LdiJ]

If FIVE tardies = a HALF day absence? That's nothing. And this is from someone whose kids have accumulated 1 tardy and 10 absences in a cumulative 20 years of schooling.

Would it *annoy* me? Absolutely. But it's not something I'd take to court.

Dang Steath, you must have REALLY healthy kids...LOL. My daughter missed at least 5 days per year for true sickness. One year she missed 10 days for a really horrible flu...but that year the school system actually INSISTED that children be kept home until they were 100% symptom free, because they actually had a week were 50% of both the students and teachers were out sick with that flu. I wish I could remember what year that was....it had to be somewhere between 1995 and 1997. I caught it too and I was seriously sick for almost three weeks.