Should we call CPS?

[stepmom&mom]

What is the name of your state? Oklahoma

What is the name of your state? Oklahoma

Some unusual things have happened recently with my sd's mom.

1. She was evicted from her apartment and had to move to a different city and a different apartment.

2. On our last visit, she called and said she could not pick up sd until the next day because she had a miscarriage (we did not know that she was even pregnant.)

3. She called us a few days before this weekend visitation and told us that her car was repossessed, and she no longer has transportation.


These things, along with the fact that my dh pays child support, yet we had to send all of the clothes that we had home with my sd because her mom said she couldn't afford to buy her any lead us to believe that she may possibly be using drugs. There is no explanation for her inability to provide clothing, shelter and transportation. Sd states that mom always has to pay her "friends" so she can't afford clothes nor her car.

The bottom line is that we believe that bm may have started using drugs. We know for a fact that she parties alot. She doesn't even try to hide it. She also meets guys online and invites them over. Recently, she had a boyfriend who she met online that was supposedly stationed in Iraq. She asked us to keep sd for an extra week when he came to visit her. She has asked us several times to keep sd so that she can socialize. The partying is not a new surprise, but the loss of housing and a car puts up a red flag. Also, the weekend that she claimed she had a miscarriage, when she came to pick up sd, she looked like she hadn't slept in days. When I picked sd up from bm's house on Friday, bm was wearing sunglasses inside her apartment, like she didn't want me to see her eyes. She had a new boyfriend there with her and they were getting ready to go out. I can't imagine wanting to go out after just losing my car.

I've talked to a a social worker and my father, a retired police officer, and they say that her behavior sounds like that of a meth user (no money to pay bills, looking very tired and the partying.) Does our speculation warrant a call to CPS? We are worried that bm may have gotten caught up in something very bad and we want to make sure that sd is safe. Dh always pays his child support on time and can't understand why bm doesn't have money to take care of her obligations. What can we do, if anything at all?

 

[StarsMoon]

Jmho.....

I'm sorry I have no legal info for you, JMHO..... I'm sure in a few you will get some good advice. Tell hubby to call CPS and talk with them on the situation.... Very much sounds like a drug problem in the start....

I want to see who is the first to come in and bite your head off for asking such a question. It really is a good question....Just the fact of it coming from the SP's point of view in all.. You will notice alot of ppl here are straight for the parents to do the work. And some of them don't understand that not everyone can be so confrontational as some on here..... while some men really do need an x-tra little push..... Good Luck to ya......

Now I'll sit back at wait**************

 

[weenor]

btw: Binging is also associated with crack....Signs of use include irresponsibility(as you have noted), weight loss, frequent trips to the hospital or jail. However these things in and of themselves do not PROVE drug use.

Whether to call CPS is your hubby's call (Please do not take the lead here as sm you have no legal standing at it just looks like you are jealous and trying to bring mom down). Sometimes CPS is effective sometimes not. In our case hubby's was advised to call CPS (but we had medical records with a recent admission to detox). CPS went to mom's house and left a note stating they would be in touch. She cleaned up the house and stocked the cupboards before they got back to her. But then she agreed to take a drug test and FAILED. She admitted using and they took the children out of the home for a while.. She got one of the kids back 10 months later and 6 months after that went back to the crack and lost him again (this time when her 2nd husband left). If hubby is trying to get custody, CPS won't be much help. If its a safety concern, then he should call.

 

[LdiJ]

Ok...first, "suspicions" won't get you anywhere in court. It won't even get mom drug tested. You need hard, cold evidence.

Calling CPS is a choice...but its a choice that you have to consider very carefully. It may be the appropriate choice, but you shouldn't do it unless you have some idea what might happen.

There are risks in calling CPS. If they investigate and don't find anything, then the next time you call it may not be taken seriously. If they investigate and yank the child(ren) then you will have to go through serious hoops, for as much as six months or longer, before you get placement yourselves.....and the children will be in foster care during that period of time.

I am not saying that you don't have grounds to be worried....what I am saying is that you probably ought to consult a local attorney before taking any steps.