Should you?

[ProSeDadinMD]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Guess

When filing an initial motion with the court asking for something to happen/be done, should you start out overstating what you want(assuming that what you are asking for really is reasonable), so as to give yourself "wiggle room" to come to an agreement?

Example. My mtion that I am preparing for the switch in transportation has 1 section requesting that The Ex pick up 2 out of 12 trips a month. I am trying to decide whether to add reimbursement(stating the applicable MD code) for the other 10 trips as an "in addition to" or as an "otherwise".

Thoughts?

 

[profmum]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Guess

When filing an initial motion with the court asking for something to happen/be done, should you start out overstating what you want(assuming that what you are asking for really is reasonable), so as to give yourself "wiggle room" to come to an agreement?

Example. My mtion that I am preparing for the switch in transportation has 1 section requesting that The Ex pick up 2 out of 12 trips a month. I am trying to decide whether to add reimbursement(stating the applicable MD code) for the other 10 trips as an "in addition to" or as an "otherwise".

Thoughts?

Not in my experience, if you want the ex to pick up 2/12 trips state exactly that.. dont get greedy, courts dont like that eithe, they like reasonable requests and better still reasonable parents.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Not in my experience, if you want the ex to pick up 2/12 trips state exactly that.. dont get greedy, courts dont like that eithe, they like reasonable requests and better still reasonable parents.

I know, I know. Big mean Pro Se Your opinion has been previously noted and suitably ignored...

Shhhh now. Let somebody who's really got "experience" answer. Or do you have caselaw/statutes to back that up?

 

[profmum]

I know, I know. Big mean Pro Se

Shhhh now. Let somebody who's really got "experience" answer. Or do you have caselaw/statutes to back that up?

hmm.. 14 motions and now 2 appeals to be added to the list.. you asked whether you should ask for a" reasonable" change or to quote you "overstating " the changes you want. Common sense should dictate which way to go since this is a motion you are filing.. BUT...

I gave you an answer, now when you find the caselaw/statute that tells you specifically to take one of these approaches, fill us all in, it will be a great tool to have..

Really begining to understand why your ex stands her ground with you! You are not mean... you want to be right at whatever cost.. case in point, where you not the one who called a gym class to find out whether your child's half sibling was enrolled for classes.. again not mean, just stupid!

 

[Humusluvr]

hmm.. 14 motions and now 2 appeals to be added to the list.. you asked whether you should ask for a" reasonable" change or to quote you "overstating " the changes you want. Common sense should dictate which way to go since this is a motion you are filing.. BUT...

I gave you an answer, now when you find the caselaw/statute that tells you specifically to take one of these approaches, fill us all in, it will be a great tool to have..

Really begining to understand why your ex stands her ground with you! You are not mean... you want to be right at whatever cost.. case in point, where you not the one who called a gym class to find out whether your child's half sibling was enrolled for classes.. again not mean, just stupid!

I disagree. I think he HAS to stand his ground with his ex due to the fact she takes advantage of situations and she lies. all the time.

He caught her in her lie. I give him tons of credit for being resourceful without doing something illegal. I had to do something similar to catch my ex in his lies.

I think he SHOULD ask for more, and then settle at what he finds acceptable. Scare her a little. And if he is GIVEN more, then he can always be "the nice guy" and give her a break.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

hmm.. 14 motions and now 2 appeals to be added to the list.. you asked whether you should ask for a" reasonable" change or to quote you "overstating " the changes you want. Common sense should dictate which way to go since this is a motion you are filing.. BUT...

I gave you an answer, now when you find the caselaw/statute that tells you specifically to take one of these approaches, fill us all in, it will be a great tool to have..

Really begining to understand why your ex stands her ground with you! You are not mean... you want to be right at whatever cost.. case in point, where you not the one who called a gym class to find out whether your child's half sibling was enrolled for classes.. again not mean, just stupid!

Considering the fact that BOTH of these requests are "reasonable", at least as far as MD statutes are concerned(12-204(i)(2)), and that I could care less about the money aspect of it, I should just ask for both then, right?

Guess I'm not "overstating" after all.

And thanks Humus.

 

[truebluemd]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Guess

When filing an initial motion with the court asking for something to happen/be done, should you start out overstating what you want(assuming that what you are asking for really is reasonable), so as to give yourself "wiggle room" to come to an agreement?

Example. My mtion that I am preparing for the switch in transportation has 1 section requesting that The Ex pick up 2 out of 12 trips a month. I am trying to decide whether to add reimbursement(stating the applicable MD code) for the other 10 trips as an "in addition to" or as an "otherwise".

Thoughts?

Ask for the 2 pickups as a minimum: "I am requesting that the order be modified for Ex to do a minimum of (as you specify)**************.."

The "minimum" give wiggle room for the judge to add on more if it is warranted based on the merits. Its an open-ended request.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Ask for the 2 pickups as a minimum: "I am requesting that the order be modified for Ex to do a minimum of (as you specify)**************.."

The "minimum" give wiggle room for the judge to add on more if it is warranted based on the merits. Its an open-ended request.

Y'know, I gave that some consideration, but on the off chance that the master/judge decided to split it 50/50, I'd end up waiting untill LMPS's bedtime on Wednesdays before The Ex finally got there.

I'm seriously thinking of just adding this:

Further, the Defendant requests that transportation expenses be awarded to the Defendant, pursuant to the Annotated Code of Maryland, §12-204(i) which states under subsection (2) that “any expenses for transportation of the child between the homes of the parents” may be divided between the parents in proportion to their adjusted actual incomes by agreement of the parties or by order of court. As this expense and burden, currently a total of 856.8 miles per each 4 week period(11,138.4 miles per year), is now, and has always been, incurred solely by the Defendant despite the distance having been created by the Plaintiffs move, the Defendant seeks relief for these costs and burden as the Court deems reasonable.

The mileage is based on Google directions. The way I actually go would shave 2496 miles off that.

 

[LdiJ]

Y'know, I gave that some consideration, but on the off chance that the master/judge decided to split it 50/50, I'd end up waiting untill LMPS's bedtime on Wednesdays before The Ex finally got there.

I'm seriously thinking of just adding this:


The mileage is based on Google directions. The way I actually go would shave 2496 miles off that.

Ok, lets say that you ask for that, and the judge decides that meeting half way, or you each doing one leg is the appropriate solution. Are you going to have a problem with mom showing up promptly with the child? You seem to indicate that it could be a problem.

If you want reimbursement, or perhaps your child support lowered, I think that you need to be a little more specific about what you are asking for.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Ok, lets say that you ask for that, and the judge decides that meeting half way, or you each doing one leg is the appropriate solution. Are you going to have a problem with mom showing up promptly with the child? You seem to indicate that it could be a problem.

If you want reimbursement, or perhaps your child support lowered, I think that you need to be a little more specific about what you are asking for.

My first paragraph about Fridays states that the only day I am asking for is that days drop off, period, but interesting question.

Of the top of my head, I'd request that The Ex do the morning pickups. I'm sure she'll just love that.

Of course, since she doesn't think that she should have to do any driving, she'll fight that tooth and nail. I'd happily continue to do the driving with the financial break in that case.

Really, all I want is for The Ex to drop LMPS off on EO Friday. I'm hoping that she'll see the futility of fighting over this and just "tap out"(sorry, watched UFC last night) before we get to court.

 

[Ohiogal]

Request she do be responsible for HALF the transportation. In other words OVERSTATE.

 

[Humusluvr]

Request she do be responsible for HALF the transportation. In other words OVERSTATE.

Not responsible for half the driving, but half the COST. PSD, I don't think you WANT mom to do the driving, since she's notoriously late and whiny.

I think its crap that she moved away, now she is being so greedy and manipulative and trying to weasel her way out of what she took on.

Ask for the relief of the cost. And the drop off that one day.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Request she do be responsible for HALF the transportation. In other words OVERSTATE.

From my perspective, I'm hoping that the whole "cost of transportation" thing is the overstatement that will get The Ex to drop LMPS off to me on Fridays. That, really and truly, is all I want her to do. The real question in my mind right now is "How much does she want to spend on a lawyer to continue to NOT dropp of LMPS on EO Fridays?"

I know, I'm half a sucker...

Not responsible for half the driving, but half the COST. PSD, I don't think you WANT mom to do the driving, since she's notoriously late and whiny.

I think its crap that she moved away, now she is being so greedy and manipulative and trying to weasel her way out of what she took on.

Ask for the relief of the cost. And the drop off that one day.

No, I really don't want her to do half the driving. On the other hand, if a judge/master were to order it, I was thinking earlier this morning(coming back from dropping LMPS off at school) that I'd ask for the "norm" as I've read it here on FA, meaning that the parent receiving the child has to pick the child up. She's welcome to the 2 hour morning commute...

 

[Humusluvr]

From my perspective, I'm hoping that the whole "cost of transportation" thing is the overstatement that will get The Ex to drop LMPS off to me on Fridays. That, really and truly, is all I want her to do. The real question in my mind right now is "How much does she want to spend on a lawyer to continue to NOT dropp of LMPS on EO Fridays?"

I know, I'm half a sucker...

No, I really don't want her to do half the driving. On the other hand, if a judge/master were to order it, I was thinking earlier this morning(coming back from dropping LMPS off at school) that I'd ask for the "norm" as I've read it here on FA, meaning that the parent receiving the child has to pick the child up. She's welcome to the 2 hour morning commute...

I don't think you want that either. The ex is just going to screw up LMPS's school schedule then. LMPS is going to be tardy, or mom is going to flake and then you'll STILL have to take her to school. And, you'll end up being late, and she'll try to pin that on you.

I hope you get transportation costs and Friday night. Settle on that.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

I don't think you want that either. The ex is just going to screw up LMPS's school schedule then. LMPS is going to be tardy, or mom is going to flake and then you'll STILL have to take her to school. And, you'll end up being late, and she'll try to pin that on you.

I hope you get transportation costs and Friday night. Settle on that.

I'm not so much worried about ME being late. I don't have to be to work till 11am. Then again, I'd have to ask The Ex "How come LMPS wasn't late to school when I did it when I had to be at work at 8:30am???"

The mentality I am currently dealing with was bold enough to ask the teacher, at the parent/teacher conference while I was there, "Is there a pattern to LMPS's lack of focus? You know, like certain days of the week?" The emphasis is NOT mine.


Of course, the teacher said no.

She also said that she was so happy that we work together:...lol...