Slight problem with exchange of child

[workinggal]

What is the name of your state? NJ

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen,

My name is Celesete and I'm a newbie. I've read the rules and will obey them. I'm posting here because my husband have a 6 year old daughter with his ex girfriend. My husband and I married a year after his daughter was born. Communication with the mother and I is Nil. I don't get in her way, she doesn't get in my way. They went to court awhile ago to establish paternity and visitation and child support. In the order it's says my husband only is suppose to pick up and drop off their daughter. The problem that he has is now the mom wants her sister to hand my husband's child to him at the door instead of mom. The mom claims that since my husband and her don't communicate either, there's no need to see him at the door when the child is exchanged. My husband feels this is disrespectful and if he has to have his child handed to him by someone else, then I can pick the child up for him. Can I do that? I don't want to run into problems with the mother because we never had dealings with each other. Also he pays $264 a month in child support but everytime he pays, she says he needs to help out with other things like summer camp, school functions or field trips,etc., isn't that's what child support for?

I just want to know if it's okay to pick up their daughter without causing problems.

Thank you everyone

 

[mommyof4]

What difference does it make that your husband doesn't see his ex as long as he is able to pick up his daughter when he is supposed to? Any idea how many here WISH they didn't have to see their exes at pick up and drop off?

This is not a hill your husband should be willing to die on. Really.

 

[waitinMd]

you shouldn't take over pick up or drop off. Stay out of it, especially if the order states he will pick up/drop off.


One thing that would bother me is... is Mom really caring for the child if her sister is dropping off now? If Mom is not spending her time with the child, then Dad should have first priority of having the child.

 

[workinggal]

you shouldn't take over pick up or drop off. Stay out of it, especially if the order states he will pick up/drop off.


One thing that would bother me is... is Mom really caring for the child if her sister is dropping off now? If Mom is not spending her time with the child, then Dad should have first priority of having the child.

Child lives with the mother, the sister stays with mom

 

[mommyof4]

Oh, I forgot to address:

Your husband doesn't have to pay anything outside of his CS order. If Mom thinks she should recieve more, she can try to modify the CS order legally.

 

[waitinMd]

Does Mom come with the sister to drop the child off? How old is the child?

 

[mommyof4]

Does Mom come with the sister to drop the child off? How old is the child?

What are you talking about?

Dad picks up and drops off the child at Mom's. Sister comes to the door instead of Mom. No big deal.

In the order it's says my husband only is suppose to pick up and drop off their daughter. The problem that he has is now the mom wants her sister to hand my husband's child to him at the door instead of mom. The mom claims that since my husband and her don't communicate either, there's no need to see him at the door when the child is exchanged

He knows that the child lives with Mom. Sister ALSO lives with Mom.

Child lives with the mother, the sister stays with mom

 

[workinggal]

Does Mom come with the sister to drop the child off? How old is the child?

The child is 6 and the child lives with mom. My usband's court order says he is to come to the mother house to pickup and drop off. The mother hands the child to her sister to hand to my husband at the door

 

[waitinMd]

whose post is this?

 

[JBMD]

What is the name of your state? NJ

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen,

My name is Celesete and I'm a newbie. I've read the rules and will obey them. I'm posting here because my husband have a 6 year old daughter with his ex girfriend. My husband and I married a year after his daughter was born. Communication with the mother and I is Nil. I don't get in her way, she doesn't get in my way. They went to court awhile ago to establish paternity and visitation and child support. In the order it's says my husband only is suppose to pick up and drop off their daughter. The problem that he has is now the mom wants her sister to hand my husband's child to him at the door instead of mom. The mom claims that since my husband and her don't communicate either, there's no need to see him at the door when the child is exchanged. My husband feels this is disrespectful and if he has to have his child handed to him by someone else, then I can pick the child up for him. Can I do that? I don't want to run into problems with the mother because we never had dealings with each other. Also he pays $264 a month in child support but everytime he pays, she says he needs to help out with other things like summer camp, school functions or field trips,etc., isn't that's what child support for?

I just want to know if it's okay to pick up their daughter without causing problems.

Thank you everyone

Is it an issue for your husband to pick up his daughter? If so, then you could try to go, but if you are told no, then you've no argument. Dad will need to take it back to court to allow you to pick up kiddo. You need to think about whether this is something worth fighting for.

Dad and mom don't seem to get along, so I would think that dad would be okay with not seeing mom! Can dad pick up kiddo from school on the days he gets her? Then there would be no issue at all!

On the child support issue ..... this is a touchy subject. Dad can argue all he wants that child support is for ... this, that and the other, but what it is really for is for the support of child while in mom's care (ie food, clothing, roof over the head). Mom has discretion on how it is spent (as would dad if he were receiving support. Extra things like school functions, summer camps, and activities are not typically included in child support. Dad can either 1) pay part of the expense for kiddo to have these activities or 2) not pay! He is not required to pay for extra activities, but if mom can't afford them the only one losing out is kiddo! Sometimes daycare is included in child support and sometimes it is a separate payment. (Note: My ex beleived that I should pay 1/2 of school lunch when he is with her. I simply explained that I believe this is included in my child support payment, she wasn't very happy about it, but what can you do. I did end up contributing to the school lunch fund, as I didn't feel it was worth a huge argument! Maybe this was bad on my part, because now it is I pay half for everything (when I already pay child support) so i think i am actually paying for everything, since her half comes out of my support. - not a big deal ( i tell myself it's okay becasue I am actually supporting my son 100%))

Just a piece of simple advice ... dad needs to choose which issues are worth fighting for. It IS GOING TO BE A LONG ROAD to age 18. Try not to nitpick, it will make things easier on everyone (exp. kiddo). There will be frustrating issues, but obviously mom and dad don't agree on everything otherwise they'd still be together! Just breathe and push through! (that's what i'm doing!)

 

[workinggal]

whose post is this?

my name is celeste and this is my post

 

[mommyof4]

OP, you got your answers. Tell your husband to just let it go.

 

[waitinMd]

Ok, then there should not be a problem with the exchange. I'd leave it alone. Let the sister bring the child up to the door. Pick and choose your battles....

You need to stay out of it. It sounds like Mom is immature, or there are uncomfortable issues that make her not want to come up to your door.

 

[waitinMd]

Oh and BTW... 264.00 is nothing for child support.

If it were my child, I would offer to pay for some of the activities... write the check to the camp or school if he doesn't trust Mom.

 

[alonzobaby32]

Ok, then there should not be a problem with the exchange. I'd leave it alone. Let the sister bring the child up to the door. Pick and choose your battles....

You need to stay out of it. It sounds like Mom is immature, or there are uncomfortable issues that make her not want to come up to your door.

It sounds like dad is being immature because what difference does it make who hands the child to dad. I think he just wants to nikpick, that's all