Slight problem with exchange of child

[alonzobaby32]

it has to be a control issue. the NCP i deal with tried the same thing. He wouldn't let the children out of the car unless he saw me physically in the driveway. he claimed it was to be sure there was an adult home. So i sent out my husband or father in law instead. He didn't like that one bit. i truely believe it is a control issue. the need to feel of having the upperhand. when he was the CP, he always felt in control to say yes or no. Now that court orders have been established, he was always being difficult. And losing custody, he tries to do whatever he can just to be difficult.

OP, be really careful on how you allow your husband to get you involved. because god forbid the two of you don't work out and split with kids, this is exactly how he will treat you. Help him pick his battles. I have been reading alot and have come to a conclusiion that might help you as it has helped me in fighting worthless battles. If it was my husband (who i am madly in love with) what dicisionwould i make regarding our children and is it something i would keep at nick picking? i am not all the way there yet, but i will say it did shed some light.

It's just all silly and useless... This husband wants to be in control or he still have feelings, period.

 

[mommyof4]

It's just all silly and useless... This husband wants to be in control or he still have feelings, period.

..or both.

 

[penelope10]

..or both.

Agreed. When my child's Dad comes she announces, "Dad's here," we kiss goodbye and out the door she goes.

Mom may send Aunt to the door to avoid any possibility of a conflict in front of the child.

Dad either is carrying a torch for Mom still ( and the fact that he broke up with her doesn't negate the fact) or he has control issues.

 

[StampGirl]

This whole freakin thread makes me SOOOOO glad we do our exchange at the local police dept!!!!

I am usually always there early, Ex pulls into parking lot and parks car, kids jump out, Ex opens trunk and takes out whatever they brought over (school packs etc), says bye, and kids are already at my car yelling Mommy We missed you!!! He drives off. END OF STORY.

I personally think Dad still has feelings for the Mom and wants to see HER at every exchange. Doesn't matter that he left her.... maybe he thinks he made a mistake.

I would LOVE to know have to see my ex at the exchange.

 

[CJane]

This whole freakin thread makes me SOOOOO glad we do our exchange at the local police dept!!!!

I am usually always there early, Ex pulls into parking lot and parks car, kids jump out, Ex opens trunk and takes out whatever they brought over (school packs etc), says bye, and kids are already at my car yelling Mommy We missed you!!! He drives off. END OF STORY.

I personally think Dad still has feelings for the Mom and wants to see HER at every exchange. Doesn't matter that he left her.... maybe he thinks he made a mistake.

I would LOVE to know have to see my ex at the exchange.

I dunno that it's necessarily that Dad is still carrying a torch for mom. I think that SOME parents want to KNOW that the OTHER parent is JUST as 'inconvenienced' by the whole pick-up/drop-off as THEY are.

If Dad can't SEE Mom and can't FORCE her to answer the door and deal w/him, he doens't even KNOW FOR SURE that she's HOME. Doesn't matter that it's not his business if she's home or not, doesn't matter that it's not his business if she's still in her jammies or hasn't brushed her hair, or has gained/lost 50 lbs since the last time he saw her. He wants to SEE HER and make sure that SHE KNOWS that HE KNOWS whatever it is that he thinks he'll learn by seeing her.

 

[StampGirl]

None of it makes sense!!

Heck when I can't get the kids to the police dept and my mom has to meet my Ex there, no one is complaining.

I would leave this alone.

Again, what I wouldn't give to NOT see my Ex on exchanges LOL But then again if it wasn't him it would be Wifey and ewwwwwwwwwwwwww REALLY REALLY don't want to see her LOL She is skeeery!!!!

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Not having to see The Ex is a large portion of the reason why I don't complain all that much about doing ALL the driving, even though SHE moved.

I p/u and d/o at daycare for just that reason also.

 

[workinggal]

I dunno that it's necessarily that Dad is still carrying a torch for mom. I think that SOME parents want to KNOW that the OTHER parent is JUST as 'inconvenienced' by the whole pick-up/drop-off as THEY are.

If Dad can't SEE Mom and can't FORCE her to answer the door and deal w/him, he doens't even KNOW FOR SURE that she's HOME. Doesn't matter that it's not his business if she's home or not, doesn't matter that it's not his business if she's still in her jammies or hasn't brushed her hair, or has gained/lost 50 lbs since the last time he saw her. He wants to SEE HER and make sure that SHE KNOWS that HE KNOWS whatever it is that he thinks he'll learn by seeing her.

I know it is because he wants to make sure she's home. He has moved on and hopefully she has. But my husband is being silly with the entire situation.

 

[mommyof4]

But my husband is being silly with the entire situation.

I'm glad that you recognize that. Now, go pound (please...not physically, I don't want to see a thread from you about how to handle physical assualt/DV charges) this fact into his head.

 

[CJane]

I know it is because he wants to make sure she's home. He has moved on and hopefully she has. But my husband is being silly with the entire situation.

Well, if it's to make sure she's home, he's being stupid and you need to tell him that. It's NOT any of his business AT ALL if she's there or not. Clearly SOMEONE is. Doesn't matter if it's Aunt Bunny or Mom's BFF Jill or a neighbor. Tell Dad to get over it and focus on YOU.

If every SH (SuperexHusband) would put 1/2 as much energy into their NEW WIFE/LIFE/CHILDREN as they do getting all up in their EXWIFE'S business all the time, life would be about 7000 times easier and maybe 2nd marriages wouldn't end in divorce quite so often.

 

[workinggal]

Well, if it's to make sure she's home, he's being stupid and you need to tell him that. It's NOT any of his business AT ALL if she's there or not. Clearly SOMEONE is. Doesn't matter if it's Aunt Bunny or Mom's BFF Jill or a neighbor. Tell Dad to get over it and focus on YOU.

If every SH (SuperexHusband) would put 1/2 as much energy into their NEW WIFE/LIFE/CHILDREN as they do getting all up in their EXWIFE'S business all the time, life would be about 7000 times easier and maybe 2nd marriages wouldn't end in divorce quite so often.

Thanks , I see your point. I know he's complaining over nothing. They have eighteen years of that. I just do want drama all the time

Thanks ladies

 

[workinggal]

Thanks , I see your point. I know he's complaining over nothing. They have eighteen years of that. I just do want drama all the time

Thanks ladies

meant to say don't want drama

 

[Zephyr]

I know it is because he wants to make sure she's home. He has moved on and hopefully she has. But my husband is being silly with the entire situation.

I could possibly understand him wanting to make sure she's home when he drops kiddo off (possibly) but at the pick up? who gives a flip? he's getting the kid so mom being home doesn't matter.....yes you do need to encourage him to let the little stuff go

 

[wileybunch]

The court cares. The order, ORDERS Dad and Dad alone to pick up the child.

I understand that and that needs to be obeyed.

I was replying to another poster that said, "Does she REALLY need to run a gauntlet of FOUR people every time she is picked up or dropped off?"

Dad's hands are tied, but NEITHER parent needs to be showing their faces to each other and for Mom's part, if she were to have another adult show her daughter out, that's hardly a gauntlet or confusing for the child.

It seems like the child's being used a little like a pawn to tweak each other off.
Let the kid go in/out of doors on her own. @@

 

[casa]

]...snip...."If every SH (SuperexHusband)... "[/[/I]QUOTE]

ROFLMAO!!!!!!