Sole Legal Custody-Missouri

[Peaches1122]

What is the name of your state? Missouri

Can a mother get sole legal custody just by saying she can't communicate with the father when the truth is that she doesn't want to?

 

[CJane]

What is the name of your state? Missouri

Can a mother get sole legal custody just by saying she can't communicate with the father when the truth is that she doesn't want to?

Probably not - though you might want to post some details so the question can actually be answered.

 

[Peaches1122]

Mother wants to cut father off from kids as much as possible. Will only email dad, refuses to speak to him on the phone. Claims that he is hostile to her and there is zero evidence. However, there are pages and pages of emails where dad is pleasant, caring, and encourages them to work together for the benefit of the children. She claims she is afraid to talk to him, yet she also called him several times when the oldest went to the hospital in September, and talked to him for almost an hour when she got hold of him.

With a presumption of joint custody, wouldn't she have to prove that she can't talk to him when the reality is that she just doesn't want to?

 

[Content]

Mother wants to cut father off from kids as much as possible. Will only email dad, refuses to speak to him on the phone. Claims that he is hostile to her and there is zero evidence. However, there are pages and pages of emails where dad is pleasant, caring, and encourages them to work together for the benefit of the children. She claims she is afraid to talk to him, yet she also called him several times when the oldest went to the hospital in September, and talked to him for almost an hour when she got hold of him.

With a presumption of joint custody, wouldn't she have to prove that she can't talk to him when the reality is that she just doesn't want to?

Don't leave things open though, start gathering as much evidence as possible now so that when you go to court you can easily show the court where she's the one being uncooperative. Otherwise she could try to make up false evidence without thinking about what possible consequences that could carry.

 

[Peaches1122]

Our lawyer indicated that we could lose legal custody if we say she's uncooperative. That would prove her point that they can't communicate.

 

[Zephyr]

Our lawyer indicated that we could lose legal custody if we say she's uncooperative. That would prove her point that they can't communicate.

your lawyer needs some balls, keep all eveidence of dad's repeated attempts to coparent with mom, he should continue to try to coparent, after she continually refuses to communicate, dad may have the upperhand for lega custody.

the courts would rather give joint though

 

[CJane]

With a presumption of joint custody, wouldn't she have to prove that she can't talk to him when the reality is that she just doesn't want to?

I dunno. I'm in MO and my ex is currently claiming that him and I cannot communicate with each other, and that it's my fault. However, I have emails from him telling me to only speak to him through his attorney, that I'm allowed to speak to his wife, but not to him, etc... and several from me to him informing him of EXACTLY what's going on with the kids, my BF's cell phone number in case he can't get in touch with me, reminding him of Dr's appointments, etc.

At this point, I'm so confused about who has to prove what, that I'm making sure MY a$$ is covered and praying that's enough.

 

[Peaches1122]

Yes, can we approach this from our ex's point of view?

I want sole legal custody in Missouri. What do I have to do to get it?

And CJane...please let me know how your case works out.

 

[Peaches1122]

after she continually refuses to communicate, dad may have the upperhand for lega custody.

the courts would rather give joint though

He doesn't want sole legal. (We are in another state) We want joint everything. We just want to stop her from stripping him of any more involvement in his kids lives.

 

[CJane]

I want sole legal custody in Missouri. What do I have to do to get it?

And CJane...please let me know how your case works out.

Well, my case won't 'work out' until probably March if all goes according to plan. Hopefully yours will be overwith by then.

I assume that what I quoted is what you think the EX is thinking, correct?

Essentially, she's going to have to 1) Prove not that communication is difficult, but that it's impossible. 2) Prove that in the past, when dad has been allowed to make decisions on his own, that they've proven to be harmful to the child. 3) Prove that in the future, it would not only be impossible to communicate with each other and come to agreements on things like medical care and religious upbringing that it would be of huge benefit to the child to allow only one parent to make such decisions - and that parent should be her.

It's exceedingly rare for a judge to order sole legal if the other parent has been at all involved in a child's life. I just wish someone had explained the ramifications of actually including it in a settlement agreement.

 

[Peaches1122]

You think it's rare? I hope you're right. My husband has tonz of evidence on his efforts to be involved. He even has the school mailing him report cards since she has refused to communicate with him. And for medical, my husband has had to call the doctor's directly to find out anything. We would see they went to the doctor on the medical insurance and then followed up.

Don't know if mine will be resolved by March either. She has dragged this out in court for three years. We only have our next pretrial hearing November 10th.

 

[CJane]

You think it's rare? I hope you're right. My husband has tonz of evidence on his efforts to be involved. He even has the school mailing him report cards since she has refused to communicate with him. And for medical, my husband has had to call the doctor's directly to find out anything. We would see they went to the doctor on the medical insurance and then followed up.

Don't know if mine will be resolved by March either. She has dragged this out in court for three years. We only have our next pretrial hearing November 10th.

Having to get the info from the school/doctor isn't going to be that helpful evidence-wise. It's fairly common practice unless ordered otherwise to expect the NCP (especially if they live out of area) to get that sort of info on their own.

 

[stepmom&mom]

Well, I have a different opinion about this. My dh was NOT granted joint legal custody (even though he is regularly involved in the child's life.) As the judge put it, as long as CP & NCP can't get along, only CP will have legal custody. Of course, I don't agree with this at all, because this just gives the CP the ability to be uncooperative just so that she can retain sole legal custody.

So, I think that how you approach this will depend on the judge more than the law. If you are dealing with a judge that would prefer a joint custody presumption of any kind, then your evidence may be beneficial, but if you've got one of those judges that just doesn't want to mess with the issue, you might get screwed. If you think that you are dealing with a judge who might do the latter, then your best bet may be to ask for sole legal custody. I know you want joint custody, but if you have a choice between no legal custody and sole legal custody, at least with sole legal custody, you can allow the other parent to participate in decision-making. If legal custody is taken from you, you will have no say in anything. Most importantly, your lawyer can probably tell you best what you should do.

 

[Peaches1122]

Well that's not very encouraging. And I can't think of how we could ask for sole legal custody when we're halfway across the country.

 

[CJane]

Well that's not very encouraging. And I can't think of how we could ask for sole legal custody when we're halfway across the country.

You'd never get it.

Question: Why is dad so opposed to mom having Sole Legal?