Son wants child support monies

[kathy419]

What is the name of your state? Connecticut

My ex, and son's father, told my son that he is supposed to be getting the full amount in child support from me. My son is 15 and is demanding the money. Where would I get an explanation of what child support is supposed to be used for? Does anyone else have this issue?

 

[nextwife]

First, IS there a court order for you to pay CS? Have you been?

Second, technically, court ordered CS is due the CP. The CP is free to spend it as they wish. It is intended to be reimbursement to them for their share of the costs of providing for the child in their home. The CP can opt to provide this money to the child if they wish, or put it in a savings for college or whatever. If your son is demanding you pay the CS to him, explain that you are required to pay it to the CP, and that it is up to the CP whether they wish to give any or all of it to him in turn.

 

[kathy419]

son wants support money

Next wife I appreciate your response.

My son lives with me. His father insists that my son should be getting all of the child support that he pays me. I purchase my son's clothes, shoes, etc, pay for his haircuts, movies, pool playing, school lunches, yearbook, etc.... His father tells him Im using the money for my own benefit, how do I counter that??? I'm frustrated.

 

[wenwas]

you are also allowed to used the child support for half the bills if its just the 2 of you so if he wants to make a stink about it ignore him.

 

[nextwife]

Misunderstood your first post.

Explain to your son that his father is misinformed. The CS goes to the CP), and they use it to provide clothing, housing, education, entertainment, transportation and food, etc. None of which is free. It is the CPs option, IF they have enough left over, to provide any of this money directly to the child.

IF it was intended to be paid to the child, the Court Order would not make CSE pay it to the CP! CSE would have then made it payable to the child. But as it is intended to be paid to the CP that is who CSE sends the money to. It BELONGS to them to use toward maintaining the household and the child.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

Kathy, you also have a situation where your ex is involving your son in matters that are none of your son's business, in an obvious attempt to drive a wedge between you and your son.

Here's what I would do - -

I would tell Dad to call Child Support Enforcement to get an explanation, first hand, of who is entitled to the child support, and why.

Also, since he started this form of derision, I'd also tell the ex that once he gets his explanation, then he's to also inform your son EXACTLY as explained. Then, you tell the ex that you DEMAND an apology in writing detailing his "error". That way, you can throw the apology in his face in the future.

If he gives you any bullcrap about this, then you inform him that you're going to take him back to court on an Order to Show Cause for his interference with your custody of the boy, and let a judge take care of him. That should shake him up, and get him to start dialing the telephone.

If he still refuses, then it's up to you to follow through with your "promise" to file the Order to Show Cause. You don't need your son at your throat because of what your idiot ex is believing, and filling your son's head with bullcrap!

Take the bull by the horns and STAND UP for yourself!

IAAL

 

[FJ1200guy]

CS goes to you Mom, not your son. Do with it what you want. I'd suggest taking ME out to dinner? LOL You don't have to account for it to the ex, OR to the son.
Sheesh with Dads like that around, no wonder we all get such a bad rap!

 

[jez51]

LOL, reminds of the time when my daughter was about 6yr and was wanting something at the store, I told her I didn't have enough money, so standing with her hands on her hips and as loud as she could, she said "What are you doing with all my child support?" After a little discussion, I found out that whenever she asked her daddy to buy her something, he would tell her to ask me because "That's what that child support check is for".
Your ex like mine, has discovered a way to cause problems between you and your son. Raising a teen is hard enough, don't let him get away with it!