Statutory Rape Laws/my 16yr old interested in 24 yr old

[Amanda McKenzie]

I need some advice. My daughter is 16yrs old, and interested in a 24 year old male. I have spoken with him personally, and do not object to their friendship. His intentions are to marry her once she is of legal age. I have put very strict rules upon the relationship. At this time they are not publicly dating. They talk on the phone, and see each other only on occasion. He lives several hrs away, so I don't feel there is a problem. I am very good friends with his mother, he is very respectful and responsible. Although I wish my daughter was older before contemplating marriage, she is a very mature 16 yr old. The problem I have is My ex-husbands son(john) is in training to become a police officer. He says that once he becomes a police officer he will arrest my daughter's friend. He does things like checking her cell phone, and feels because he's gonna be a cop he can do this. He acts as if he knows the law, but we have always had a problem beleiving everything he says. I understood the law to be we as parents had to file charges against the older party, and only if sexual contact was made. We do not object to this relationship. Is John right, can he be arrested just for talking to her? Please help.

 

[HomeGuru]

I need some advice. My daughter is 16yrs old, and interested in a 24 year old male. I have spoken with him personally, and do not object to their friendship. His intentions are to marry her once she is of legal age. I have put very strict rules upon the relationship. At this time they are not publicly dating. They talk on the phone, and see each other only on occasion. He lives several hrs away, so I don't feel there is a problem. I am very good friends with his mother, he is very respectful and responsible. Although I wish my daughter was older before contemplating marriage, she is a very mature 16 yr old. The problem I have is My ex-husbands son(john) is in training to become a police officer. He says that once he becomes a police officer he will arrest my daughter's friend. He does things like checking her cell phone, and feels because he's gonna be a cop he can do this. He acts as if he knows the law, but we have always had a problem beleiving everything he says. I understood the law to be we as parents had to file charges against the older party, and only if sexual contact was made. We do not object to this relationship. Is John right, can he be arrested just for talking to her? Please help.

**A: what the hell is wrong with you? Tell this 24 year old idiot to GET LOST!

 

[enjay]

The 24 year old cannot be arrested for talking to the 16 year old. I have to agree though, why in the world would you condone them having any kind of romantic relationship? It is NOT NORMAL for a 24 year old man to be interested in marrying a child.

 

[nextwife]

Amen! Sorry, mom, but there is a serious problem with a guy of 24 needing to find a 16 year old girlfriend. Tell this guy to get lost UNTIL your daughter is of legal age and encourage her to take her time, and plan to continue her education after 18. AND to learn to live on her own a while before she locks herself into a relationship! She's 16!!!! Hell, she has years to learn about herself and grow emotionally. Encourage that!

 

[Amanda McKenzie]

I am the girls older cousin. I understan how most people feel about this situation. My cousin is a very mature 16yr old, she has practically raised her other three siblings her dad left them when her mom had their last child. It is a very sad situation. She is suppose to be in home school, but has pretty much dropped out. Her mom cannot afford to send her to college. Josh says he will help her take some classes later. My parents are 9yrs apart, and have been married for 29 yrs. I am 27 and have three other very good friends that married men 6-9 yrs older than them, and things have worked out great. I think every individual is different. If her mom tries to keep her away from him, she will most likely rebel and end up running away to get married anyway. Tje only thing they do now is talk. The are never alone together. her mom will not let them "court" until she is 17. By that time, she may have changed her mind. The main reason we wrote in was just to find out what the law was.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

I am the girls older cousin. I understan how most people feel about this situation. My cousin is a very mature 16yr old, she has practically raised her other three siblings her dad left them when her mom had their last child. It is a very sad situation. She is suppose to be in home school, but has pretty much dropped out. Her mom cannot afford to send her to college. Josh says he will help her take some classes later. My parents are 9yrs apart, and have been married for 29 yrs. I am 27 and have three other very good friends that married men 6-9 yrs older than them, and things have worked out great. I think every individual is different. If her mom tries to keep her away from him, she will most likely rebel and end up running away to get married anyway. Tje only thing they do now is talk. The are never alone together. her mom will not let them "court" until she is 17. By that time, she may have changed her mind. The main reason we wrote in was just to find out what the law was.

My response:

First, you start your initial post with - -

"My daughter is 16yrs old"

Then, in your next post, you say - -

"I am the girls older cousin."


My question to you is, do you always feel it necessary to lie?

How can we believe what you're saying, and your intent, when you start off by lying?

IAAL

 

[Amanda McKenzie]

We are not lying.

Her mom and I are writing this together. My name is Amanda, her name is Dolly. She knows nothing about the internet, and I was trying to help her get some advice. That is why I started the stmt with "I am her cousin" I guess you would have appreciated it more if i got out and re-regestered under another name? What was the point. I have no reason to lie. i am 27yrs old with two beutiful children, have been married for seven years. i am simply trying to help my aunt and her daughter!

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

Then, all you had to do is say, "My name is Amanda, and I'm writing this for my Aunt Dolly. Dolly has a daughter who . . ."

You need to understand that when you "do a change up" like that, it gets us to wonder. Further, the advice we give is directly proportionate to the relationship of the writer; i.e., Mother daughter, as opposed to cousin/cousin.

IAAL

 

[nextwife]

Marrying a man 8 years older is fine- when the other partner has some years on them. My husband is 8 years older- but I was 40, had a carreer and had bought my own home by then. There is an universe of difference between a 16 year old and a 24 year old. Not so much so between a 28 year old and a 36 year old. A 16 year old should STILL be encouraged to plan on DOING something with themselves, even technical school or community college. Plenty of us went to college on our own nickel.

Fine, she hooks up now, at 17 or 18 becomes a housefrau, has nothing of her own and no job skills, and then in 5 years when she wants OUT because he is controlling, or drinking, or whatever, she will be STUCK! She will not have options because she never took the time to learn to stand on her own 2 feet financially and emotionally. He will have controlled everything in their relationship, especially finances, because "he's older and knows better". Why do you think a 24 year old goes after a 16 year old?

I don't care HOW "mature" you tell me she is, there is no good reason to encourage a 16 year old CHILD to pursue a relationship with a man who is fully 1/3rd older than her age!

 

[StickyFingers]

"Fine, she hooks up now, at 17 or 18 becomes a housefrau, has nothing of her own and no job skills, and then in 5 years when she wants OUT because he is controlling, or drinking, or whatever, she will be STUCK! She will not have options because she never took the time to learn to stand on her own 2 feet financially and emotionally. He will have controlled everything in their relationship"

*** I was there...I moved out at 18. Thought that somehow that was better than staying at home and getting a education. Hell I moved to another state! I worked 2 jobs 80 hrs a week (minimum wage) I met a guy who was 9 yrs older. We married. I was a house wife and Stay-at-home mom for 10 yrs. Well he turned out to be a wife beating POS. So here I am....almost 30 and have no skills....getting a divorce..and have two small kids...HAVING TO BUST MY ASS..working construction cause that is the only thing I can do right now that will support my children while I go to school at night.

It can happen...It doesn't need to be domestic violence or anything that serious. Just the need to leave;Differences.

Your cousin/daughter needs to adjust her priorities. If she is as mature as you say... then surely she has looked beyond what she wants...to what she needs. If not, then maybe she is not as mature as you think.

 

[stephenk]

"My cousin is a very mature 16yr old, she has practically raised her other three siblings her dad left them when her mom had their last child. It is a very sad situation. She is suppose to be in home school, but has pretty much dropped out."

And she is mature? So far she is 16 years old, not going to school and not intending to do anything about it, right?

I see 3 kids by the time she is 21 and a lifetime on welfare.

 

[StickyFingers]

AWE...c'mon poster!!!...You can reply....please answer the questions.......C'mon you can do it!

 

[ptlmejo]

Tell your son he's gonna have a rude wake up to the world of Law Enforcement if he keeps up that attitude.

 

[krispenstpeter]

Tell your son he's gonna have a rude wake up to the world of Law Enforcement if he keeps up that attitude.

And, of course, you know this ptlmejo based on the laws of which state?

Sometimes it's better to not say anything than to open your mouth and prove your ignorance. Not only is it NOT illegal for an adult to SPEAK with a minor, in many states it's also NOT illegal to have wild monkey sex with a minor.

And since we don't know in which state this poster is from or her 'supposed' cousin, then the ONLY valid advice she CAN receive is what has already been posted.

 

[ptlmejo]

And, of course, you know this ptlmejo based on the laws of which state?

None...Police Policy. Being one, I know.

Sometimes it's better to not say anything than to open your mouth and prove your ignorance. Not only is it NOT illegal for an adult to SPEAK with a minor, in many states it's also NOT illegal to have wild monkey sex with a minor.

Never said it was or wasn't.

And since we don't know in which state this poster is from or her 'supposed' cousin, then the ONLY valid advice she CAN receive is what has already been posted.

Are you intentionally argumentative or is there a point to your incessant rambling?