Step-mother won't allow visit with Dad

[dbriii]

What is the name of your state?Utah

I live in Utah, but my Dad and Stepmother live in Arizona.

My Step-mother recently talked my Dad into amending their Trust. I have since found out that she's really ripping him(and succesively, me) off. He is 76 years old and starting to suffer from dementia. He and I had been on great terms, but, ever since I've been trying to get him to realize what she's done, she has threatened him with divorce, and basically made his life a living hell. Unfortunately, his dementia makes him incredibly dependent on her. And she has used this dependence to get what she wants. Yesterday, he told me she doesn't want him talking to me anymore, and he had to agree, or face her wrath. She has threatened to throw him out and divorce him, and, in his fragile state he believes that. Of course, she'd never do that, as then her recent adjustments to their trust would be voided, but he can't comprehend all that. So, I have basically been cut off from my father by my step-mother.
I don't care nearly as much about the trust as I do about being able to visit/converse with my dad. I've told my dad this, but it doesn't seem to matter. My step-mother wants me out of the picture. Do I have any recourse, or do I just have to accept this.

Thanks for any advice.

 

[VeronicaGia]

You may want to contact an attorney who specializes in Elder Abuse Laws.

 

[Shalady]

Girlfriend won't let us talk to or see Dad

I live in Florida with my Mom . My four other siblings also reside in Florida. My father and his girlfriend live in Nevada. My father has been married to my mother for 54 years and never divorced her. He is now in his eighties and supposedly married a much younger lady while he was living in the Phillipines. He is blind and an amputee and is also a veteran. We recently located him after not knowing where he was for twenty years, and was quite surprised to find that he was blind, disabled and supposedly married to someone else especially since he never divorced my Mom. He admitted to my Mom and social worker that he never divorced my mother. She admitted that she knew he had a family .My mother and I constantly searched for him through the military and the Red Cross to no avail. She is now refusing to let us see or talk to him and he wants contact with us. She also has full POA over his affairs and she took out a Veterans loan to buy a house and she is not his legal wife, but she has her name listed as such. He is also afraid of her because she mentally abuses him and leaves him in their house alone. My Mom and siblings want some type of contact with him but she hangs up the phone on us. What can we do? Pleade answer. Thanks in advance.

 

[stealth2]

Start your own thread and don't hijack this one, and contact an elder abuse lawyer.

 

[leafinator]

dbriii,

Be sure to follow through on the advice to get in touch with an elder abuse lawyer. You absolutely do NOT have to take what your step-mother is trying to do. Your Dad needs you more than ever and as his health continues to go downhill he'll need you even more. It sounds like your step-mom is just waiting for him to die so she can be on easy street. how sad...