Step Mothers

[Elektra9669]

What is the name of your state? Arizona

I am curious as to what a step parents rights are with regards to parent teacher conferences and doctors appointments. My husband has had custody of his 9 year old son since December due to child abuse from his ex. Since my husband works days, I have been taking my step son to his medical appointments, gotten him on a proper diet for his hereditary cholesterol problem, gotten him on medication for his ADHD (which his mother refused to put him on when she had custody), and have made sure that he has been getting his work done in school and have been working with the teacher to see that it is done. I have been the one to help him with his homework and any problems that have arisen at the school. Now his mother is trying to petition the courts to stop me from doing these things. The problem is that my husband works days, my husband and his ex don't get along, she has lied to him numerous times in the past. What can we do to fight this? If there is an emergency with my step son and he has to be taken to the hospital or emergency room, and I am the only one who can take him, if I am under court orders not to interfere with any of this what is going to happen with my step son?

 

[Boxcarbill]

This is the type of petty bullsh t that clogs up our court system. And people wonder why everything goes to mediation before a judge will hear the case!

 

[stealth2]

That's really the long and the short of it. If it comes down to it, Dad's going to have to figure out how to do these things just like a lot of single parents have to.

 

[jez51]

What is the name of your state? Arizona

I am curious as to what a step parents rights are with regards to parent teacher conferences and doctors appointments. My husband has had custody of his 9 year old son since December due to child abuse from his ex. Since my husband works days, I have been taking my step son to his medical appointments, gotten him on a proper diet for his hereditary cholesterol problem, gotten him on medication for his ADHD (which his mother refused to put him on when she had custody), and have made sure that he has been getting his work done in school and have been working with the teacher to see that it is done. I have been the one to help him with his homework and any problems that have arisen at the school. Now his mother is trying to petition the courts to stop me from doing these things. The problem is that my husband works days, my husband and his ex don't get along, she has lied to him numerous times in the past. What can we do to fight this? If there is an emergency with my step son and he has to be taken to the hospital or emergency room, and I am the only one who can take him, if I am under court orders not to interfere with any of this what is going to happen with my step son?

Legally you have no rights, but until a court order says otherwise, hubby can write up an authorization for you to take care of these things when he can't. Sounds like the ex is doing this out of spite, and doesn't care about her child.

 

[jez51]

This is the type of petty bullsh t that clogs up our court system. And people wonder why everything goes to mediation before a judge will hear the case!

I AGREE...

 

[Charleee]

Please give the lady a break. It's obvious she's simply trying to do the best she can for this child. My situation is very similar but with two step-kids I acquired eight years ago when their bio-mother went off to 'crack and pimp land' and her visitation rights were terminated.

Not all Dads are always able to handle such things during business hours. My husband is an OTR truck driver but does his level best to arrange to be available for school conferences and the like. We've also found that teachers have been very understanding and helpful in scheduling conferences to meet our timing needs.

To avoid legal issues with the schools, doctors etc., "Dad" signed a notarized authorization and consent for me to obtain health care for the children and also to consult with school personnel regarding all aspects of the children's education. It has never been necessary to obtain such consent from the bio-mother.

Best of luck to you...it's a long, hard road.

 

[Elektra9669]

Step Mother

My husband has arranged for me to do all of these things but his ex is throwing a "poor me pitty party" at the courts. She has always tried to cut me out of this kids life and my step son has even yelled at her about it before. We don't think that the judge will go along with it but you see my husbands job isn't like other peoples, he works for a casino and you can't just take an hour or two off for doctors appointments or parent teacher conferences when you want to. I am not trying to make excuses for him, I agree with you in that he can handle some of these things but in case of an emergency there has to be a back up plan for the sake and health of the child. The doctors and school all refer to me as "mom" even though they know I am only step mom.

 

[tigger22472]

Please give the lady a break. It's obvious she's simply trying to do the best she can for this child. My situation is very similar but with two step-kids I acquired eight years ago when their bio-mother went off to 'crack and pimp land' and her visitation rights were terminated.

Not all Dads are always able to handle such things during business hours. My husband is an OTR truck driver but does his level best to arrange to be available for school conferences and the like. We've also found that teachers have been very understanding and helpful in scheduling conferences to meet our timing needs.

To avoid legal issues with the schools, doctors etc., "Dad" signed a notarized authorization and consent for me to obtain health care for the children and also to consult with school personnel regarding all aspects of the children's education. It has never been necessary to obtain such consent from the bio-mother.

Best of luck to you...it's a long, hard road.

***I dont' think anyone was giving the OP any grief. They were refering to the fact that the bio mom is trying to take things that are petty to court. The legal advice she was given was on the mark.