Step Parent Adoption HELP

[MDWoman3]

My son's birthfather has never met him and my husband would love to adopt him. How can we do this simply? Birthfather's last known address was in the state Pen in Missourri. He has never made an attempt at contact. Please tell me we can do this without a lawyer.

 

[MySonsMom]

Please go through this board and read responses from other step parent adoption questions. Any further questions, post again.

Thank you.

 

[MDWoman3]

This is not an answer. When I was looking for my birthmother, I received better answers than "watch the bulletin board".. I need some help here. I've worked with many attorneys and hope that the advice and the people I meet here are much more human.

I really need help. I have real self-esteem issues here for my son. I have a maniac psychopath in prison ( I hope still). I need help. I've help people through the net find their natural families and I was just hoping that the family-ship of this entity would still be intact. Keep watching the bulletin board is not anything like what I was expecting.

Please help me find a law or something I can work with..

I am not a stranger to family law.

Thank you, Robin K. Heil

 

[MySonsMom]

This is not an answer. When I was looking for my birthmother, I received better answers than "watch the bulletin board".. I need some help here. I've worked with many attorneys and hope that the advice and the people I meet here are much more human.

I really need help. I have real self-esteem issues here for my son. I have a maniac psychopath in prison ( I hope still). I need help. I've help people through the net find their natural families and I was just hoping that the family-ship of this entity would still be intact. Keep watching the bulletin board is not anything like what I was expecting.

Please help me find a law or something I can work with..

I am not a stranger to family law.

Thank you, Robin K. Heil

Excuse me MDWoman, all I was saying is that if you TAKE SOME TIME and read through this particular board about Step Parent Adoptions, you may find answers to your questions.

The same questions keep arising over the same situations, and if some would just take some time to read through others questions and the responses they have recieved, it may answer your own question.

Now..Good luck. Hopefully you will find your answer, because with the attitude you have you won't be getting much further help from me.

 

[lawrat]

I am a law school graduate. What I offer is mere information, not to be construed as forming an attorney client relationship.

I wouldn't suggest doing this without an attorney. Just because you are familiar with family law doesn't make you a family law attorney.

Even though real dad has no relationship, court needs to go through legal process to see this:

1. Need to give real dad reasonable notice of motion to end his parental rights via abandonment. If he doesn't respond (usually has 30 days to respond ONCE SERVED), then you ask for ex parte hearing and order.

2. Once his rights are terminated by the court, you take that court decree and file for adoption for new dad.


http://www.attorneypages.com

 

[MDWoman3]

Thank you very much to lawrat and MySonsMom. MySonsMom - Thank you for clearing that up for me. This is a very delicate situation for me and I guess I get cranky about it ....my sincere apologies if I came out rude. Maybe I missed some of the postings but in my situation, birthfather was an escaped convict when my son was conceived. I haven't found any posting that fits my situation. He is a dangerous man and I am only guessing that he is still in the pen. I only know that he was found and brought back in 1988. I would be afraid to serve him notice as he may then know where I am located and I could be ultimately putting myself and my family in danger.

So, serving notice would be a very bad idea even if I did know where he was. Is there some way we can go around this?
Also, do you know where I can download the procedures and/or forms for Marin County, CA.?

Thank you so much again and yes, I will keep going through all the posts.

 

[Tigres]

CAN you track him down? IF you can, then your question is more to the point of "Is there some way to serve him with out revealing your whereabouts?" There usually is, which your attorney (you will need an attorney) will know how to do.

If you CAN'T track him down, then, there is usually a method of publishing notice in the individuals last known whereabouts.

If you haven't heard OF(let alone from) him since 1988, then any decent attorney can make a good argument for abandonment.

Tig

 

[MDWoman3]

Thanks Tigres - I guess I have to face the truth, I will need a lawyer. There has been no attempt at contact on his part at all.

The man is a psychopath and I've had to go through life so far with a different name for that reason.

So, I think there could be a good case for abandondment.

I will look into finding a lawyer, but money's very tight and I'm not sure I can afford one. I was hoping that I could do this myself.

Thanks again for your input and if there is any more ideas you may have or anyone else for that reason, I would be grateful.

 

[Tigres]

I've noticed several posts where someone (sorry, can't bother to look and see who!) recommends going to the local CS agency and finding low cost attorneys there.

A) Here is what I recommend. Find yourself a GOOD attorney. To do that, check with people who have used an attorney at least 3 years prior. (Things seem ok at first, but problems with paperwork and wording usually crops up later!) Ask everybody! Post on a local bulletin board if you don't know enough people yourself. Then, go observe your narrowed down list in a courtroom.

B) While you are saving funds (clip coupons, buy things on sale and stop shopping expensive stores like Kmart... )to afford the GOOD attorney, continue to research. If you have to, go to one of these mega book stores and sit down at a table and read through the law books making extensive notes. You see, it will save your attorney time (and possibly money for you) and will allow you to converse with your attorney with a reasonable understanding of what s/he is suggesting.

Stick around on the board and see what else you can learn. Heck, go get a law degree if you think you can manage it!

Tig

[Edited by Tigres on 02-13-2001 at 07:34 AM]