Step-Parent Adoption- Kansas

[OHRoadwarrior]

What it appears is dad wants to have contact with his children, they for whatever reason do not wish to have contact with him. He is trying to respect their wish, hoping they eventually capitulate as start wanting to see him.

 

[single317dad]

they feel they need this closure and security to move onto the next chapter in their lives. As teenagers becoming young men, they need this and are old enough know to have their opinions respected and heard. It's not just what we want know- their opinion and thoughts need to be considered whole heartedly and they want the only dad they have ever really know to be their dad in every way possible which would include future security and a official name change.

I don't doubt that these kids "need" something, but this statement sounds a lot less like law and a lot more like some psychology from a TV show (something on Lifetime, maybe). Regardless of what "an attorney told you", you have court orders, which you are expected to follow, and you could be held responsible for the fact that they weren't followed.

 

[LdiJ]

I don't doubt that these kids "need" something, but this statement sounds a lot less like law and a lot more like some psychology from a TV show (something on Lifetime, maybe). Regardless of what "an attorney told you", you have court orders, which you are expected to follow, and you could be held responsible for the fact that they weren't followed.

Whether we agree with the children's feelings or not they should be respected. Wait until your child is a teen. Believe me, they feel what they feel and nobody is going to change their mind.

 

[single317dad]

Whether we agree with the children's feelings or not they should be respected. Wait until your child is a teen. Believe me, they feel what they feel and nobody is going to change their mind.

Never said they shouldn't be respected. I have raised a teenager, been a teenager, and seen first hand the havoc my nieces and nephews wrought. I know what kind of creatures they are

That said, OP's children have been allowed to refuse contact since they were 10 and 13. That's a lot different than giving them significant input at, say, 16 or 17.

 

[LdiJ]

Never said they shouldn't be respected. I have raised a teenager, been a teenager, and seen first hand the havoc my nieces and nephews wrought. I know what kind of creatures they are

That said, OP's children have been allowed to refuse contact since they were 10 and 13. That's a lot different than giving them significant input at, say, 16 or 17.

That is a valid point...only one of them was a teenager then, but they are both teenagers NOW...and now is the thing that is being dealt with.

 

[Silverplum]

I was never one to cave to a minor. If you raise them to think they run the show, they run the show. A is A.

 

[LdiJ]

I was never one to cave to a minor. If you raise them to think they run the show, they run the show. A is A.

It is not necessary to "cave" to respect their feelings. It is merely necessary to acknowledge their feelings, their right to have them, and to take them into consideration when they make sense.

 

[Silverplum]

It is not necessary to "cave" to respect their feelings. It is merely necessary to acknowledge their feelings, their right to have them, and to take them into consideration when they make sense.

While obeying one's court order and doing one of the custodial parent's jobs: encouraging the relationship between the children and their other parent. Don't forget that part.

The "now" wouldn't exist as it is unless the CP allowed children to decide -- for years-- which parent they want to talk to, or obey, or respect. Failure, thy name is OP.

 

[LdiJ]

While obeying one's court order and doing one of the custodial parent's jobs: encouraging the relationship between the children and their other parent. Don't forget that part.

The "now" wouldn't exist as it is unless the CP allowed children to decide -- for years-- which parent they want to talk to, or obey, or respect. Failure, thy name is OP.

Yes, she did fail in that respect...however it does not appear that dad cared all that much at the time.

Custody order stating no visitation and no child support (father incarcerated at time of custody order).

This is from post number 1.

It does not appear that dad ever went back to court to get visitation rights, therefore she has not disobeyed any court orders.

 

[stealth2]

Please explain how I am suppose to force words out of a 13 year and 16 year olds mouths.

Oh, ask me. It's possible.

 

[single317dad]

It does not appear that dad ever went back to court to get visitation rights, therefore she has not disobeyed any court orders.

One phone call a week allowed [...] Children have refused contact with bio dad for 3 years now

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