Stepmother interfering w/mother, making decisions and demanding visitation

[radiogal03]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? I recently moved from Indiana to Ohio so my seven-year-old daughter could be closer to her father who re-married, moved here, never notified the courts, and ceased support. His new wife now believes she has the authority to make all decisions relating to my child. I am not allowed to speak to my ex-husband regarding any parenting issues, including education and support, and she is the one who picks up my child for their weekend visitation. She allows my daughter to do things I disagree with, and tells me I have no right to question her decisions as long as my child is in her home. Furthermore, when I call to speak with my ex about these problems, she screams at me, threatens me, hangs up, then calls back and harasses me for hours. I have threatened court several times, but my daughter comes back from visitation (in tears) having been told that I am trying to take her away from her father. This is has been going on for three years, and I am frustrated. Can I file a restraining order against the stepmother? Am I allowed to refuse visitation if he does not pick her up? What are my rights here? Our custody order was written in Indiana, and I would have to transfer the agreement here in order to take him to court locally, but have been told I have a 50/50 chance of losing her to him because they are married and I am single (since the divorce). What are my options? Please advise. Thanks and best regards....radiogal03.

 

[kidoday]

Legally you don't have to speak to the step mother. Since she won't allow you to communicate with your childs father, I would put everything in writing and certifiy mail him a letter.

Since you didn't post what your court order states regarding visitation, I would say no you can not withhold visitation because she is doing the pick up. Besides, you have already set a precedence pertaining to this.

As far as her threatening you, I would get caller ID, an answering machine and refuse to answer the phone. She can not fight with a person that doesn't fight back, but you can show that she is harrassing you. Then a R/O may be possible to get.

 

[Chelle0511]

another typo.

~We need more information. For one, what does the divorce agreement say in regards to visitation? Does it list her being able to pick up the child? Does it states that dad picks her up? This we need to know. If it says that dad is to pick her up, then that is exactly it, dad has to pick her up. However since they are married it would be very easy for them to file for modification and ask that the step mother be allowed to pick up the child in the event that dad is not available. In most cases the judges will permit something like that. Now, as far as the stepmom letting the child do things that you do not permit, here you probably will have to bite your tongue as long as it is not illegal, immoral or harmful to the child or anyone else. As long as she is at dads house then it's dads call. Next, as far as losing the child to the father and his wife because they are married and your are not, not a chance, their marriage gives them no grounds for custody. Finally, if dad has no balls and can not stand up and discuss his child with her mother, then don't discuss anything with them. If she calls tell her that this child belongs to him and you and if he has something to say then to get on the phone, and if not ... you have better things to do. You are in no way obligated to discuss anything with this controlling woman. Just discontinue communication until he steps up. It will get old in time and he will, believe me. Just have the child available for his visitation and leave it at that until he contacts you. Good Luck, and don't let this control freak run your life

 

[LdiJ]

I will also add that the fact that they are married and you are single does not give them any edge whatsoever regarding custody. Its completely irrelevant.

 

[snostar]

I will also add that the fact that they are married and you are single does not give them any edge whatsoever regarding custody. Its completely irrelevant.

In a perfect world this would be correct. It all depends on the judge.

 

[LdiJ]

In a perfect world this would be correct. It all depends on the judge.

Anything is possible, but since it would be a definite infringement on the single parent's constitutional rights its pretty unlikely. Those issues were covered a generation ago.

 

[snostar]

Anything is possible, but since it would be a definite infringement on the single parent's constitutional rights its pretty unlikely. Those issues were covered a generation ago.

There are many judges still presiding that hold these traditional values, unfortunately. They do not have to openly voice their biases, or include the marital factor as a determining factor of their desicions, for it to be present. It all depends on the judge.

 

[kcs00]

you know some BM gets on my nerve, just be glad that there is someone in YOUR childs life that gives a hoot. I know SM who will do anything to make this things difficult. As for speaking to your ex someone mentioned sending him cerified letters that seems like a good idea, your keep you end covered in case he trys to say "I didnt know" you'll have your proof you told him. I wouldnt give them the sastifaction that they are getting to you.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

First, find $200 or so and have an attorney write a cease and desist letter to this bi-ache.

Next, come back here and tell this forum if you have filed to domesticate the custody/visitation in Ohio or if jurisdiction remains in Indiana.

 

[haiku]

So does step mom have dad chained in the basement here?

I would think taking him into court for non payment of support, might just break those chains......