Suggestions please

[sugarj]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? NC

I am looking for some suggestions on how to handle a situation. I am going through the mediation process. I currently live nearly 4 hours from my ex, whom has primary physical custody. The kids ages are 9 and 6. He wants to enroll the kids in non school affiliated sports activities which requires weekend practices and games. I would have visitation eow with eow of that, requiring me to have my visitation in his town of residence. Please understand that I want my kids to be involved in things that they would like to do but I'm also trying to think about the long term. I know that I can't currently afford to do that but even if I could do that now, I'm not so sure that I would be able to do that for another 12 years. Just looking for options

 

[stealth2]

Okay - your post is confusing. What is it you don't know if you'll be able to afford for 12 years?

 

[kidoday]

Renting a room so she can allow her children to participate in non school related activities on her weekends.

 

[LdiJ]

Okay - your post is confusing. What is it you don't know if you'll be able to afford for 12 years?

Well...I understood her to mean that she couldn't afford the expenses of having to spend the weekends in his town for visitation, so that her kids could continue to participate in extra-curricular activities during her weekends...ie staying in a hotel or whatever on top of travel costs.

 

[Phnx02]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? NC

I am looking for some suggestions on how to handle a situation. I am going through the mediation process. I currently live nearly 4 hours from my ex, whom has primary physical custody. The kids ages are 9 and 6. He wants to enroll the kids in non school affiliated sports activities which requires weekend practices and games. I would have visitation eow with eow of that, requiring me to have my visitation in his town of residence. Please understand that I want my kids to be involved in things that they would like to do but I'm also trying to think about the long term. I know that I can't currently afford to do that but even if I could do that now, I'm not so sure that I would be able to do that for another 12 years. Just looking for options

Your post is a bit confusing. Your're saying that the kids will be involved in sports every weekend - including your scheduled visit times - so you'll have to visit the kids in his town? How do you see the kids now? If you take them back to your town for the weekend, you can still do this - but around their game times. Or ask your ex to only sign them up for sports on the weekends he has them.

 

[kidoday]

Your post is a bit confusing. Your're saying that the kids will be involved in sports every weekend - including your scheduled visit times - so you'll have to visit the kids in his town? How do you see the kids now? If you take them back to your town for the weekend, you can still do this - but around their game times. Or ask your ex to only sign them up for sports on the weekends he has them.

The problem lies in the distance. Let's say she picks up the kids on Friday drives 4 hours home. Practice is at 8:00 a.m. Now they have to be on the road at 4:00 a.m. to get there by 8:00.

Now they drive another 4 hours home to turn around and drive back four more hours on Sunday. It would be cheaper to rent a room. This is the problem I think she is having.

I don't know of any sports/activities that are only every other weekend. Hence the children missing on her weekends.

 

[stealth2]

Except it is apparently court ordered that one weekend of each two is spent in the kids' town. The judge seemed to feel that was affordable. So then the kids would only miss one practice/game in four.

 

[kidoday]

Except it is apparently court ordered that one weekend of each two is spent in the kids' town. The judge seemed to feel that was affordable. So then the kids would only miss one practice/game in four.

Stealth, I didn't read it that way. I guess we will wait for the poster to clear up the confusion her post caused.

 

[sugarj]

clarifications

NC

Sorry, just got back to the computer. Sorry for the confustion. Currently my visitation takes place in my town of residence. My ex and I meet halfway for the exchange. We are going through mediation again (once after divorce and now to update some things) and he wants to put a clause in the agreement that on eow of my visitation that I would stay in his town for visitation. Basically alternating where I will have visitation with the kids. The reason for this is due to non school affiliated sports activities that takes place on weekends. I was referring to not being able to afford a hotel room plus additional travel costs. Yes, the distance and travel times are also a factor. I reference 12 more years because my younger child is 6. I was just trying to come up with an option that would help keep us from having to go back to mediation to address this scenario as the kids get older and activities change. I just dont want to have to keep going back into mediation every few years.

 

[stealth2]

So propose that you will have visitation in his area one of every two weekends, but he has to pay for the hotel, etc.