Support/College

[kaylie]

Indiana. Divorced for 14 years. Son is now 18, getting ready to go to college. I have gotten same amount of child support the whole time. Ex-husband makes good money as a professional. I should be receiving about $300 more per month according to the chart. Now he wants me to pay half of college and I say that he got away with not paying what he should have for all those years and he needs to pay for the majority of college. I am on disability and have been for many years. I had to give up my professionaly career 12 year ago. because of long-term illness.

ALso, my son will be spending approx. 4-5 nights per week this summer with his dad instead of the normal 0-1. Even though he will be living most of the time with his dad this summer and perhaps through college (we'll see), do I still get child support or will it just be lessened? I never took him back to court because of the stress on my health and also because I was always told that I didn't have a case unless it was a substantial difference. So I didn't want to make waves. Now, looking back ( and coming out of my FOG on this matter!), I was really shorted all those years. He has refused to pay extra on his own (when he said he would) and has never helped me out with extra expenses. It doesn't seem right that I have to pay for college when he has not paid me what I should have gotten all those years. I am looking at about $20,000 or so I could have been getting. I know I can't get back pay, but based on the fact that I should have received more and didn't, I feel I shouldn't have to shell out the same amount of money, if any for college. Our son will be going to a community college at first and living at home.

 

[poiduke]

college duties

I am currently finishing up my modification with ex. our case is in In. too.I do know that the state guidelines are each party has a third.So that is the child one third,mom on third and dad one third.Also in my decree we agreed to encourge and help our children seek scholarships,grants,etc.
So you see it was up to you to get a modification and you may still do it now.Oh also parent responsibility is up to 21 provided in school f/t and achieving good grades.
Good Luck

 

[VeronicaGia]

Indiana. Divorced for 14 years. Son is now 18, getting ready to go to college. I have gotten same amount of child support the whole time. Ex-husband makes good money as a professional. I should be receiving about $300 more per month according to the chart. Now he wants me to pay half of college and I say that he got away with not paying what he should have for all those years and he needs to pay for the majority of college. I am on disability and have been for many years. I had to give up my professionaly career 12 year ago. because of long-term illness.

ALso, my son will be spending approx. 4-5 nights per week this summer with his dad instead of the normal 0-1. Even though he will be living most of the time with his dad this summer and perhaps through college (we'll see), do I still get child support or will it just be lessened? I never took him back to court because of the stress on my health and also because I was always told that I didn't have a case unless it was a substantial difference. So I didn't want to make waves. Now, looking back ( and coming out of my FOG on this matter!), I was really shorted all those years. He has refused to pay extra on his own (when he said he would) and has never helped me out with extra expenses. It doesn't seem right that I have to pay for college when he has not paid me what I should have gotten all those years. I am looking at about $20,000 or so I could have been getting. I know I can't get back pay, but based on the fact that I should have received more and didn't, I feel I shouldn't have to shell out the same amount of money, if any for college. Our son will be going to a community college at first and living at home.

It's not his fault that you didn't file for a modification. You cannot penalize him for your lack of interest in pursuing more support.

What does your court order say about college? I know IN emancipation is 21, but the order needs to mention college, not just child support.

 

[kaylie]

Reply

I understand that it is not his "fault" and that I am the one who needed to apply for modification. It wasn't because of "lack of interest". But he knows perfectly well that he has not been paying what he should have and got off easy. Moral and legal obligations are 2 separate issues. THis same thing happened to a friend of mine and the judge ordered the ex husband to pay for college since he paid low child support for all those years. I guess it may just depend on the judge in the case.

 

[djohnson]

Not only up to the judge but up to the amount paid too. There is difference in a parent paying a minimum amount and larger amount that could have been more. If the child is going to be with dad the majority of the time why would you expect child support? That money is for the kid, not you. It's also your responsibility to take care of the child also. Why would you expect him to pay more than half and you nothing. Your argument about what you could have done doesn't hold water. You didn't and that was you choice. If he is smart, he will go to court and have you pay him child support while the child is living with him. Or the kid could do like a majority of the rest of us and do it on his own and not depend on either parent to pay for school. Sometimes what CP expect amazes me.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

It sounds like pops can file for a modification to force YOU to pay child support if the kid lives with him.

Otherwise, you'd better hope junior decides not to go to college for at least four months:

The duty to support a child under this chapter ceases when the child becomes twenty-one (21) years of age unless any of the following conditions occurs:

(1) The child is emancipated before becoming twenty-one (21) years of age. In this case the child support, except for the educational needs of the child, terminates at the time of emancipation, although an order for educational needs may continue in effect until further order of the court.

(2) The child is incapacitated. In this case the child support continues during the incapacity or until further order of the court.

(3) The child:

(A) is at least eighteen (18) years of age;

(B) has not attended a secondary or postsecondary school for the prior four (4) months and is not enrolled in a secondary or postsecondary school; and

(C) is or is capable of supporting himself or herself through employment.

In this case the child support terminates.

(b) For purposes of determining if a child is emancipated, if the court finds that the child:

(1) has joined the United States armed services;

(2) has married; or

(3) is not under the care or control of:

(A) either parent; or

(B) an individual or agency approved by the court;

the court shall find the child emancipated and terminate the child support.

Unless otherwise agreed in writing or expressly provided in the order, provisions for child support are terminated:

(1) by the emancipation of the child; but

(2) not by the death of the parent obligated to pay the child support.

 

[kaylie]

Well gee whiz. Pay him child support...are you kidding? A senior executive? And I am on disability? Even though the son will spend more "sleep" time at his dad's , his dad still expects ME to pay for everything...and I should pay HIM child support???? Of course the money is for my son....how do think I pay for his clothes and his food and all the things that he needs? And he will still come to me for these things even though he may be sleeping at his dad's house more nights per week. This is still his home and I still have primary physical custody.

Must be a man responding...

Let's see...I have been jipped all these years and he darn well knows it and is laughing under his breath. And I am supposed to pay for college when he is making 60k and I am making $18k?? A little common sense tells me NO WAY!

 

[BelizeBreeze]

So, you sit on your ass all these years and want to blame your ex (and, for that matter, all men) because your ex is following the court order that YOU never bothered to have amended?

You're a piece of work lady.

And yes, you AND your ex are legally responsible for the brat's college. So start pinching the pennies.

 

[username43]

The vast answers here to this mother have been down right rude!!Beleeaze breeze..calling her child a "brat" and saying she is a piece of work. I always liked his /her posts but being hateful is unnecessary!!
The mother has been the primary support through the years. All you "poor daddys always mistreated" people out there should take note,she has not asked for any increase until the huge expense of college is knocking at the door. Why in the world do you think she wouldn't do her part. She is saying Dad needs to help a little more now. She is not talking about cruise expenses or whatever you all think mothers want the money for.

Mam, Get an attorney and file for modification as soon as you can. It will most likely increase due to just bringing the dad up to the level he should be contributing now. The son at dad's house 4 nights a week may or may not change the amount. Address this at the consultation.It may be one of those things that can be worked out. No increase if dad will contribute to some of the college costs.

 

[kaylie]

Sit on my ass?????? Let's see....I was on disability because of a horrendous illness and almost lost my life 3 times..... took care of every single need of my child.......etc etc etc.

I didn't have a clue as to what I should have been paid all those years. ANd he darn well knew how much he was getting away with while I was sick as a dog.

BTW, I just found out through an attorney that I should receive an increase in my support according to the SP calculator and that my ex is responsible for more percentage of college than I am based on our incomes. Justice does prevail after all. Praise the Lord.

I did not come into this forum expecting to get such hostile and terribly judgemental answers. This is a joke! What a piece of work YOU ARE!

 

[kaylie]

thank you

Thank you username43 . I appreciate your response.

There are nice people in the world after all.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Sit on my ass?????? Let's see....I was on disability because of a horrendous illness and almost lost my life 3 times..... took care of every single need of my child.......etc etc etc.

I didn't have a clue as to what I should have been paid all those years. ANd he darn well knew how much he was getting away with while I was sick as a dog.

BTW, I just found out through an attorney that I should receive an increase in my support according to the SP calculator and that my ex is responsible for more percentage of college than I am based on our incomes. Justice does prevail after all. Praise the Lord.

I did not come into this forum expecting to get such hostile and terribly judgemental answers. This is a joke! What a piece of work YOU ARE!

Are we supposed to feel sorry for you now?

O.K. GROUP HUG!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now woman, no one on this forum has told you that you could NOT get an increase in support or that you would have to pay the SAME amount as the ex for the brat's college expenses.

IN FACT, everyone has told you that without returning to court you would receive ONLY that which was ordered in the original order. But, since all you want to use this forum for is a pity party, I guess you weren't listening.

Of course, it's no sweat off my wallet.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Mam, Get an attorney and file for modification as soon as you can. It will most likely increase due to just bringing the dad up to the level he should be contributing now. The son at dad's house 4 nights a week may or may not change the amount. Address this at the consultation.It may be one of those things that can be worked out. No increase if dad will contribute to some of the college costs.

and that is what EVERYONE has told her. But, if all she wants to do is play the pity party and blame everyone else, then she can go to dr. phil.

This is a LEGAL advice site, not feel sorry for me forum.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Oh, and by the way, the majority of responders have been WOMEN.

Kind of thows that 'you must be a man' theory right out the window.

 

[username43]

Your welcome and Good luck to you and your son